Ectopic Pregnancy Sadness

I suffered an ectopic pregnancy on june 7th. Even 2 months later I still hurt every day. My heart aches. I have guilt, fear and sadness getting in the way of real life. I really don't feel any one understands the way I feel. Every one is trying to rush me through this grief. I don't feel like I have a safe haven to release my feelings. It hurts me when all my husband ever says is to go see a therapist. He tells me he doesn't think about it any more. That hurts.

I got pregnant on our wedding night (completely accidental) so we should be happy newlyweds but all we do is fight or ignore one another. I am angry at him for never feeling anything and not understanding. I sometimes feel as if our happy life is falling apart. Its like I don't want to hold it together anymore either.

I think I could use some advice from people who have experienced this. Would really appreciate it.

Ectopic Pregnancy Sadness

i am very sorry for your loss. i had an ectopic pregnancy in 2010 and was rushed to emergency surgery where my right fallopian tube was removed. i had a flood of feelings ranging from grief and sadness to just being grateful for being alive. the ectopic was 1 of 3 losses that i've had since we started trying to get pregnant. loss after loss after loss definitely effected my marriage and there was a period of time that was very dark between us. we both were grieving in different ways and we did not communicate about it. i can only speak from my own experience but 10000% percent what has helped us is therapy. i go to a therapist and so does he (not the same person). we have become SO much stronger because of it and we communicate a million times better. i cannot advocate for therapy enough! also, if your husband is shutting you out and not talking about something that is hurting you, then he would probably benefit from speaking to somebody too.

hang in there. it will get better.

Ectopic Pregnancy Sadness

I don't think anyone can truly understand how it feels unless they've been through it themselves... Even our husbands don't understand because they didn't feel life inside of them. I didn't think it would hurt as much as it does, and I feel like I need to just carry on and put on a happy face when deep down its all I can ever think about. I am still waiting to miscarry so it's still this weird thing for me- like the baby is still there and maybe a miracle will happen. But after 3 sonograms and no growth or heartbeat I know I have to be realistic. It's so different for each of us because we all have different experiences. I am sure going through an ectopic pregnancy is even more emotional because of how quickly everythin needs to happen with all the risks involved... You didn't have as much time to process what was happening. I can imagine how difficult it must be- especially in the aftermath. There is nothing anyone can say off do to make it feel better- I think the only thing that will help us heal is time.

Ectopic Pregnancy Sadness

I am very sorry for your loss. It is completely normal to be struggling with your emotions right now. Therapy might not be a bad idea. Maybe you could contact your ob and see if they could recommend someone who deals with pregnancy loss. There is no shame in asking for help from a professional.

Re: Ectopic Pregnancy Sadness

I agree with your husband. It sounds like youre blaming yourself for something you have absolutely no control over.

Re: Ectopic Pregnancy Sadness

i'm so sorry for your loss. this is the hardest thing to go through. i feel like only a woman can fully understand the loss. it's our bodies so it affects us so much more. it is completely normal how you are feeling. maybe talking to someone is a good idea. you need to talk it out so that you can move on. hang in there.