Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I am going back to work after labor day, after 11.5 weeks of leave. Initially, the decision for me to go back was purely financial - we cannot survive on DH's salary alone. We make close to equal amounts, and both are underpaid for our degrees and experience. I was resentful that I did not have the option to stay home.

Honestly, now that I have been home, I have realized that being a SAHM probably is not for me. I adore my daughter, but I need another purpose as well. I worked long and hard for my degree, and although I spend my day helping children (as a psychologist in a special ed preschool), it is very different than staying at home. DD is going to get so much from the family group daycare where we're sending her, especially as she gets bigger. We are lucky that my MIL is also providing childcare two days per week.

I am sure that I am going to find being a FTWM absolutely exhausting and stressful, and my house will never be clean, but I think that I will be a better mommy during those precious hours that I get to spend with DD.

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I returned to work after being at home for 15 months with my :babygirl.
Everyone's sitaution is different. My husband and I work rotating days and afternoons with different days off. So some weeks we have a babysitter 2 days a week and only for 4 hours per day, so it seldom are our girls with a babysitter for more than 20 hours per week. For example in June we had a baysitter 6 days the entire month, but back in March we had her 17 days for the month. Besides, Im retiring in 6 years- my will be in third grade. It was a no-brainer for me.

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

It's not always a choice. I work because there is just no we could get by on DH's salary alone. I wish I could be a stay at home mom

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I couldn't afford not to work, but I would have chosen to work anyway. I teach at the college level, so even though I work full time, quite a lot of it (grading, lesson planning) can be done from home. When DD was a baby, I only worked 2 days, one night a week. It was a perfect solution. My DH was unemployed/underemployed for awhile, so I increased it to 4 days a week, which is still nice.

Even though I loved being home with her, I need to work for my own sanity/sense of self-worth. Also, for me, I like showing my daughter that she can "have it all" if that is what she chooses.

She adores daycare and I really credit it with her complete ease with socializing, potty training, and many other things. DD loves spending time with me, but she'll ask when she's going back to daycare!

For me, this is the best of both worlds.

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

Even before DH lost his job we knew I would have to work. I spent years on my career and couldn't walk away anyway.

DS was a high maintenance baby. Daycare was the best thing for both of us. he started at 8 weeks. I think it's bullshitt when people say strangers are watching your kids. On the first day, yeah, maybe they are strangers. But they get to know your kid and your kid gets to know them, and if they are GOOD (because you do your research, you make sure you are involved at all times) then they wind up loving each other.

I was there for all of his firsts, even with him being in daycare 10 hrs a day. It is as if he knew.... He did all of his firsts on vacation with me.

My son is well rounded, outgoing, and brilliant. Maybe he would have been that way anyway, but I attribute it to the village that helped shape him.

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I didn't want anyone else watching my kids when they were infants. Just a personal thing. I always always, wanted to be the one home with them and experience it all. Thats really what it came down to for us. I just didn't want to miss out on anything in their early years.

I haven't regretted a minute. I will go back to work PT when my youngest goes to kindergarten but for now I'm a SAHM. I love it and seriously have zero regrets.

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I was a SAHM when I had my first 2 and I was home for a period of 5 years. After 5 years, when my DD when to nursery school/pre-K, I started to work again, PT only, while they were both in school. I went back to my old company who were more than accommodating and this gave me the best of both worlds. I didn't have to go back, but it gave me something to do and some extra spending cash. Plus, it was PT and I wasn't tied down to any schedule at all, so I was still able to do anything school related with my kids. I was basically off from work during the summer too, unless I would go into the office when DH was home during the week.

#3 came along this past February and I figured that I'd be home with him until he started Pre-K. But the opportunity was still there, so I am working about 8-12 hours a week PT (when DH is home so no child care is needed). The money is needed a little more now that it was when we only had 2 kids. And we do send our kids to private school, so tuition costs are always a concern.

I also have a professional license and must keep up in my field with continuing education credits that my company helps out with, so it would be foolish of me not to keep up and continue on with them in at least some capacity.

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I never thought I'd want to be a SAHM

I went back to work FT after a 6 month maternity leave after my DD was born. Was miserable and cut down to 3 days per week so I could at least be home with her 2 days.

I was still miserable, but was pregnant again when she was 10 months old so I stuck it out until my next maternity leave. I knew I was not going back to work after DS was born.

Some days I would love to be back at work, but only because it's so hard being home all day with a 3.5 y/o and a 2 y/o! But at the end of the day even with all the stress of being home with them, I wouldn't change it. I also have no intention of going back to work once they are in school

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I've been both a full time working mom and a stay at home mom. Both were not for me.

I currently work part time and love it. I recently got promoted and was still able to maintain my schedule of 25-30 hours a week.

My goal is to be able to maintain my career and be home most afternoons when the kids are in elementary school. Right now, either DH and I pick up DS from preschool at 3 everyday. I hope to continue to do this. I feel fulfilled at work. I used to be very ambitious and career oriented before I had kids. I'm still able to spend a lot of quality time with the kids. Best of both worlds! Paycheck is not bad either. I absolutely abhor housework. I outsource most everything house related and feel absolutely no guilt. All my home time is family time.

Message edited 8/27/2012 1:52:48 PM.

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I stayed home full time for four years. We could use some more money now after two kids and a house....I will be going back part time soon. Its a good balance for me.

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I am am SAHM, I loved being a working mother, but unfortunately I can't afford to go back to work right now. Maybe when my little one is in a full day of school I will go back to work, but right now working full or part time for me is too costly in child care.

Don't get me wrong, I am having a great time inning a SAHM, my life is a constant round of coffee mornings, play dates and play groups, the hours between school drop off and pick up for Noah are chockablock!

We have a small mortgage as we bought at a really good time and we are getting by, just, but we are making it work! The fact that we have the socialized medicine here in Britain makes life so much easier, no worrying about benefits and things like that. When we crunched the numbers, I would only be taking home about $400 a month by going back to work four full days a week. Not worth it for our family quality of life.

Message edited 8/27/2012 2:16:59 PM.

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

After working in the finance industry for 12years, I quit to be a SAH as I just couldn't take the grind anymore. I quickly realized it is NOT for me. AT ALL!!!

However, I found an awesome position at my daughter's school! So, it's turned out great!

Re: Working vs. Staying at Home

I did both, working FT was kind a disaster for me. I sah now, but hope to go PT in a few years. I would love a job w summers off