Nuchial test cancelled, I hate this

I'm having way too many emotions right now and I know you ladies will understand, and hopefully maybe even reassure me a little. Went to OB for nuchial scan today. Based on my IUI date, I am 11 weeks, 5 days. I took a breath when I saw the baby on the ultrasound as those first few seconds right before are always nervewracking. Baby looked bigger, saw arms and legs. The sono tech starts measuring away and a few minutes later tells me she can't do the test because the baby is measuring too small. I think she said something about needing a measurement of at least 45mm to do test, but not sure because I of course start to panic. She has me measuring a week behind, at 10 weeks, 5 days. The heart rate is steady at 187 BPM. I asked to see the doctor because I was freaking out. My doc is not concerned at all, just wants me to come back next week. She was very reassuring and completely understands my worry based on my history. Still, I am not feeling much better. In my experience, every time I've been told something is normal, happens often to others, ect. I have always been the exception. I think from trying to keep it together at the doc's office and not losing it crying, I am a complete mess tonight. I absolutely hate this whole thing right now. And no one around me gets how I feel. Tried to talk to DH and he's just not hearing me. I didn't even bother to try and continue to explain. The worry and sadness over the possibility of something being wrong, even though the doc isn't worried. And the anger I am feeling to right now, thinking, why did I do this to myself again, trying for another, and at 40? I have an amazing, beautiful DS, who tonight I could barely engage with because I'm such a head case. I can't stand feeling this way. I wish I could just trust that everything is ok, but I can't shake the dread that all this is a bad sign. Damn you to hell recurrent loss.

Re: Nuchial test cancelled, I hate this

First of all I just want to say for having to deal with all these emotions today. I seriously don't know how you, or should I say WE do it. The unfortunate part of infertility AND loss is that after all the hard crap we go through to get pregnant, we then have to lose our minds from sono to sono with our fingers crossed just hoping the baby is still there and doing what it's supposed to do. Yes, people who went through infertility can relate to that - but after you've HAD a loss and experienced the bad news of being told you will not be having your baby, that feeling just continues to plague your mind and haunt you. Believe me, I get it.

Oh .. and I totally hear you about always being the exception to news that is usually fine for everyone else. Just call me Mrs.2% because I've fallen into that category more times than I have fingers, basically.

I wish I had something helpful to say here, but from a medical perspective I really just don't know enough about this type of situation. I DO know that babies can often measure off especially because there is a margin of error built into the sono machine so automatically when they measure it's plus or minus 4 or 5 days. Did you consider asking the doctor to remeasure for you? Perhaps it was just the sono tech's faulty technique.


I'm sorry your dh just isn't getting you right now. I find that too that very often my dh will be so optimistic that he won't understand why I'm feeling so nervous. I think it's just part of being a man. They're protectors and they want to protect us and stay positive for us. Sometimes I look at my dh and ask, "Are you nervous like.. AT ALL??" I really do wish I was wired like a man sometimes! Think of it as a good thing. Us women carry so much stress over these pregnancies, at least someone has to be the level headed optimistic one!

Re: Nuchal test cancelled, I hate this

Thank you so much PennyCat for posting, I was hoping to hear from you. I have been following some of your posts and your thoughts and comments really resonate with me. What you said about the feelings plaguing and haunting you is a perfect way to characterize it. It's like a ghost that creeps up on you in your weakest of moments. I am feeling better today and trying to have faith in my doc and that my little one is doing just fine. That's about all I can do at this point. I think part of what is freaking me out is not only the possibility of another loss, but concerns about the healthy development of my baby. I will be 41 next week, and my age affecting the outcome of my pregnancy is yet another lovely thing to add into the mix of worries. I know I can get some reassurance by doing chromosomal testing, but I really don't know if I want to go there. Gonna start a post about that next!

Re: Nuchial test cancelled, I hate this

Are they using your iui date as your date of conception? Or are they going by your lmp? I did a 5 day transfer with Ivf and according to my Ob and my fertility dr I am 13 weeks 3 days today. When I went to the perinatologist on Monday- they had me listed as 13 weeks 3 days on monday. At 9 weeks my twins were both measuring 3 days behind according to the sono tech. She never told me that and I left and saw my Ob at 10 weeks and my fertility dr at 10 weeks 5 days- at both of those appts my LOs were measuring 1-2 days ahead... I didn't know until 13 weeks that my peri has a diff # of days pg... And it was only when the sono tech said it to the dr that I was like ????
So I still haven't gotten to the bottom of why they have me diff as they have my "O" date/Lmp date the same at all 3 places...
Anyway, my point is 2 things. They could have you a diff. -# of days/weeks than you are or more than likely the slightest measurement can throw them off by days easily. can you ask your dr to do the measurement themselves next time if you don't agree with the measurement? I questioned my fertility dr when I found out both were measuring 3 days behind and he said it wasn't anything to be concerned about--- I laughed at him and told him easier said than done. hang in there