Do you think we'll need to hire help?

My DH brought this up last night and I was sort of taken aback... I hadn't really considered it before.

I am a SAHM to a 2.5yo and am currently pregnant with twins that can come any day. My DH works long hours and will only be able to take about a week off from work when the babies are born. I have a ton of family that live very close that have told me that they will help as best they can. I appreciate their help, but I only see this happening for the first couple of weeks or so and then I'll be on my own all day. Do you think we should start interviewing some help? My DH is adamant about it, but I kind of feel weird having a stranger coming in to help me. I told him that we should play it by ear and if I feel like I need help, then we can look into it. He thinks we should plan ahead and have someone lined up so we're not scrambling. WWYD? Is it really unrealistic to believe that I can handle this on my own?

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

For the summer I would look for a mother's helper to assist you with the twins. It will make things so much easier for you. It is not that you can't handle it, it is more to help you out.

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

It's the summer so you should be able to get a mother's helper. At least to occupy A while you tend to the twins. He will want to be outside and you might not want to bring them outside as much. Once summer is over and they are a bit bigger, you might be ok since you will have a routine going.

ETA, everyone told me they would help but it was like I had to ask then I felt bad. Then some peoples idea of "help" was them coming for 3 hrs while I entertained them and screwed up my schedule and they were never really there when I really needed help.

Message edited 5/23/2013 8:53:05 AM.

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

I have 11 month old triplets. For the first 2 weeks I had a full time baby nurse and I hated having a stranger in my tiny apartment during such an intimate time. And she was a pita - i had to provide her meals and she complained about what i made as well as the cot she slept on. I then switched to a part time night nurse which was a much better fit for my needs ESP since family will be around at first. But you are right - the family help tapers off after the first few months. At around that point the babies started sttn so our part time night nurse became a part time day nurse until around 7 months, at which point I didn't want to spend the $$$$ on a "nurse" so found a nice mothers helper fr half the price two days a week on care.com. So I am a big fan of help, but that are lots of different kinds! Think carefully about your needs! Good luck.

Eta- ha ha, have to agree with everyone about family help. People are not nearly as helpful as they claim they will be.

Message edited 5/23/2013 8:56:11 AM.

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

It depends. Like PPs have said, some family members are less helpful then they think they are. My SIL thought that being helpful meant "come over and rile DD1 up, then leave." But my mom comes by 1-2x a week, and it's been a lifesaver, esp in the first few months.

It also depends on what kind of help you want. If we had the money, I would've hired a cleaning person to come in weekly while I took care of the girls.

Do you think we'll need to hire help?

I think you should at least interview people - you should be able to find someone good for the summer. It is all about finding the right person - I had a baby nurse my first night home with DD and HATED her. We now have a nanny and I LOVE her and I have no problem having her help me with anything and everything. So I say look and see if you find someone you feel comfortable with and then play it by ear. I have a 2 year old and a 2 week old and it is really hard - I can't imagine having two newborns! I think you will need the help, and like others said, family isn't usually the help you hope them to be!

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

Yes. You need help.

Do you think we'll need to hire help?

If I could get help, I would. For me my family was not a huge help after the first 1-2 months. I agree with PP who suggested a cleaning service/housekeeper. I would rather be with my babies than having to clean the house :O) I think it would be awesome to have someone who could help with all of it. A second pair of hands who did baby/child care and light housework would be a dream.

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

So I think the consensus is yes!!! Are Mommys Helpers usually younger girls to come in and "play" or do they do more? I think I'd benefit more from someone who will come do some light cleaning, too. Does anyone have any recommendations? I'm hesitant to turn to care.com right away. Also, how much would you typically pay someone for this? I think 2-3 days a week should be good.

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

Its up to you. If you want it and can afford it, then why not? I have twins and a singleton and I am a WAHM have never had any help except for my mom here and there.
When #3 was born DH took off four days. I had a c-section both times.
So, it certainly is not a necessity, but is quite a nice luxury.

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

It depends. You will certainly be able to do it on your own but if you have the money some help may be good. I have the opposite as you. When the twins were born I wasn't good at accepting help from family. I only have my parents around all our family is oot. This time around I am better at accepting help from people. My parents are retired so for the first 5 weeks or so my mom came 2 times a week and kept the twins overnight once a week. My parents left when he was 6 weeks old for a 3 month trip so I'm on my own. It can get a bit crazy but doable.
If it were me I would get a mothers helper. Someone to occupy your older ds, help fold laundry etc. I wouldn't want someone on a steady basis though just someone to call here and there.

If people ask what you need help with tell them MEALS!!!

My mom cooked us a ton of different meals and I didn't have to cook for the first 2 weeks at least it was a lifesaver!
Hope you are feeling good!

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

If you can afford it and you aren't worrying because of money I say go for it! I wish I would hire someone to help out. I wish I could even get maid to come once every two weeks or something.

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I dont have twins but I think you will be fine. I have two very close in age and I survived although I am sure twins is different. I could have afforded it but I would feel uncomfortable and would rather keep that money in my savings account. I am old school with this type of thing though!!!!

Do you think we'll need to hire help?

I think it will be a bit crazy after the babies are born to think about interviewing and hiring. I would try and plan ahead knowing you could always decide it's not for you later.

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When my twins came home from the nicu it was crazy. I couldn't have imagined it with a toddler.

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

Do I think you'll NEED to? No - But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have it if you can swing it financially !!

But I have a new motto in my life - "Why be a martyr?"

I know what I'm capable of, and while I'm fully capable of handling things 150% on my own, if I don't HAVE to, then why should I? Nonne's going to give me a medal for doing everything all by myself, and chances are I'm not going to be as happy as I could be with some help !!

If you could afford some help, then accept it! And if you don't want the help in the form of a 'mother's helper' - what about a cleaning person? or a twice weekly babysitter to get you out of the house for an hour or 2?

Go for it!!

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Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

i would look for a mothers helper as well. Im a SAHM and DH works long hours and im home w a 11 month old and if i had just twins alone i think i would need help

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

OMG... take the help! I have a 7 month old and that's a l lot of work as it is. You are going to have twins also. If your sainted husband wants u to have help.. take the help! I had a baby nurse for a week..best week ever. :)

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

Take the help ! As a mother of twins, that are 21 months older than my son...it was really difficult the first year.

The type of help you will need may change. At first I thought I needed someone mature to help with the baby, but I later realized, that having a young fun loving person around for my twins was much more productive.

I would get a mother's helper, someone who would keep your 2.5 year old entertained, and maybe let you take a nap, every now and then :)

You may want to start looking now so your 2.5 year old gets used to the person. The only issue is, some of the people wanting jobs now may not be able to continue in Sept, so make sure they are available past summer. I had luck on sites like sittercity and care.com

Do you think we'll need to hire help?

I think you have a great husband to be looking at for you like that and do believe you could use help. I have twins and I would have loved help when they first came home. Plus you have another child who needs attention also. I hired a mothers helper around 6 months and it was the best money I ever spent. She played with the girls while I took a shower or relaxed. In your situation with your older dc and twins on the I would hire someone. Especially if you could afford it. You are going to be exhausted. Just wanted to add my mother's helper came over after school and the summer in the morning to take them for a walk.

Message edited 5/24/2013 5:01:00 PM.

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

Posted by Strawberry2468

It's the summer so you should be able to get a mother's helper. At least to occupy A while you tend to the twins. He will want to be outside and you might not want to bring them outside as much. Once summer is over and they are a bit bigger, you might be ok since you will have a routine going.

ETA, everyone told me they would help but it was like I had to ask then I felt bad. Then some peoples idea of "help" was them coming for 3 hrs while I entertained them and screwed up my schedule and they were never really there when I really needed help.

Re: Do you think we'll need to hire help?

Thank you everyone! I think we are going to go for it... Maybe start with 2 days a week and see how that goes. I just have to figure out exactly what I want help with. Do I want help with my toddler? The twins? Cooking/cleaning? I want to set expectations in the beginning so it's not wishywashy.