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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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A Post About Hope & Patience
Hey ladies!
I know most of you know me from this board, but there are some new faces coming and going so I just wanted to share my story again briefly to offer some hope for those just starting on this journey, or lost somewhere in the middle.
Today is my 32nd birthday.
Four years ago on this date my DH and I had been TTC for about a month and I was hopeful as AF had not yet arrived. Little did I know that she would rarely show her face, I would soon be dx with PCOS and embark on a life changing journey.
Three years ago on this date I was miscarrying. It was my second chemical but the first one that gave me the joy of a BFP followed by the heartache of losing that dream shortly after. Dr. B told me not to give up and that he would make my dream of being a mom come true.
Two years ago on my 30th birthday this picture was taken:
After preeclampsia, HELLP syndrome, placenta accreta, and an emergency c-section in which I narrowly escaped a hysterectomy, leaving me with substantial blood loss, a partially collapsed lung and a host of other more “minor” issues, I held my 7 week premature 15 day old daughter in the NICU (if you’re bored you can read more about that here. ) As a kid I always said “I hope I have a kid before I turn 30.” I didn’t mean it so literally.
Last year I had a nice, quiet birthday with my one year old but I still didn’t feel whole. Infertility and IVF sucked but the birth of my daughter was by far the most traumatic experience of my life. I hate admitting this “out loud” but I have no good memories of her birth. I suffered from a strange combination of PPD & PTSD for quite awhile.
Here we are today (well a few weeks ago, but you get where I’m going with this  )
It’s been quite a ride. There were a lot of tears and fears and uncertainty getting where I am today. After infertility, loss and IVF, once I was “safely” pregnant I foolishly believed it would be smooth sailing. One day when my DH and I are ready to drink the kool-aid we will again embark on this journey – but from a much wiser perspective as we have been so incredibly humbled by these experiences. Yes, I’m still dumb enough to hope that we can escape infertility, loss and pregnancy complications the second time around (I think you HAVE to be somewhat dumb to allow yourself to jump in the pool again), but I’m also realistic enough this time around to know it’s unlikely.
My point is the journey is never how you expect it to be and you just never know what is going to happen – remind yourself to be grateful for every little victory. Try not to focus on the negative, the anxiety and the “I feel like I’ll never be a mom.” Shun those thoughts as best you can, especially if you are just starting the journey. Get out of the habit of living day-to-day, shot-to-shot and planning your life around possibly being pregnant – focus on the fruit of your labor (partial pun intended) and the long-term outcome. Try to remember that you may not be pregnant or a mom NOW, but a vast majority of you will build your families one way or another. Do not lose hope; statistically speaking chances are good that you will become a mom in some way at some point. It may not be on your preferred schedule or even in the manner that you imagined, but the best gifts truly are worth the wait!
Love, FlowerWife
Message edited 5/29/2013 11:29:45 AM.
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Posted 5/29/13 11:26 AM  |
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MrsGoldie
<3 Miracles can happen <3
Member since 9/12 1700 total posts
Name:
R
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
Thank you for sharing, and congratulations 
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| Posted 5/29/13 11:57 AM |
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WantBabyNbr2
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 676 total posts
Name:
Amy
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A Post About Hope & Patience
Beautiful story and family! I drank the kool-aid and I'm TTC #2. So far there's been a 12 week mmc and a chemical. On cycle 4 now. Hope your journey, when you're ready for #2, is easier and may you have an easier pregnancy and delivery.
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| Posted 5/29/13 12:07 PM |
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Lala08
2 Princesses coming soon!
Member since 12/12 1539 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
Thank you so much for sharing!! I am so glad everything worked out and you have your beautiful daughter!!
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| Posted 5/29/13 12:28 PM |
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clotheshorse
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1293 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
So touching. thank you.
I am still waiting for AF after my d&c which was a month ago. I got pregnant rather quickly but no heartbeat 2 days after we had one.
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| Posted 5/29/13 12:37 PM |
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A Post About Hope & Patience
I love this story! Flowerwife is correct... as much as I hated people say stay positive----it does help!
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| Posted 5/29/13 1:00 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
what a journey, and a beautiful daughter, congratulations, and, happy birthday! 
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| Posted 5/29/13 1:03 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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A Post About Hope & Patience
Thank you for sharing. I have been feeling really down after my 3rd MC this year and really needed to read this today. You and your daughter are beautiful. Congrats and Happy Birthday!!
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| Posted 5/29/13 1:33 PM |
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LC11
LIF Infant
Member since 3/13 71 total posts
Name:
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A Post About Hope & Patience
thanks for posting - inspiring story, and so happy to see that you now have a beautiful daughter. congratulations! and best of luck with #2!
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| Posted 5/29/13 2:02 PM |
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MrsM429
Mama x2 <3
Member since 12/10 4946 total posts
Name:
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A Post About Hope & Patience
wonderful story- thanks for sharing!
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| Posted 5/29/13 2:19 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
Awwww mama you should have warned me I would need the grab the kleenex before opening this one!  I love you and her and this post - my only complaint is there's no 1yr pic .. Come on, you have like 15,000 to choose from   Happy birthday to one of my FAVORITE mamas of all time
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| Posted 5/29/13 4:14 PM |
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Hope2009
Thankful
Member since 1/09 4429 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
thank you so much for sharing..... that just made me tear a little. Most days I do debate whether or not I will ever be a mom.
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| Posted 5/29/13 4:21 PM |
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babydreams21
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 3656 total posts
Name:
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A Post About Hope & Patience
Great story!
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| Posted 5/29/13 6:38 PM |
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ShhhTTCin11
3 under 3?!
Member since 5/11 2229 total posts
Name:
Coleen
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
Love this.
I totally relate to your feelings about her birth and almost feeling like you were "shorted" that happy part of the experience.
But she is a beautiful miracle and in this case, the journey matters less than the outcome.
Thank you for sharing
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| Posted 5/29/13 10:24 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
love your story and how that kid is not a model on some pampers or something is beyond me!
happy happy birthday!
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| Posted 5/29/13 11:45 PM |
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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
I do remember your story and think about it often. Your daughter is beautiful and such a precious gift. Gives the rest of us something to look forward to, despite how crazy of a struggle it may be!
Happy Birthdays!!
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| Posted 5/30/13 10:01 AM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
I remember reading your birth story!! That was seriously an epic ride. I totally get what you mean about having PTSD after your labor. My DS was born after only 5 hours of labor-- it was excruciating! I was strapped to the bed bc my BP was super high, no one would give me an epi bc it was my first child and they figured I wouldn't fully dilate until the next day. I was in so much pain laboring so quick, I became delirious. By the time they got a DR in to check me (they were annoyed), my DS was crowning! Three nurses threw me on a wheel chair and flew me through the halls of LIJ to find a delivery room- it was pure chaos.. three pushes later, I had my little boy. I couldn't even talk about it for months, I was so traumatized!! Eventhough I did not go through half the stuff you went through, I feel that fear and lack of control.
I also remind myself that the chances of chaos happening twice are slim and I gained more wisdom from the situation.
Wishing you great things ahead and keep putting in the words of wisdom.
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| Posted 5/30/13 10:23 AM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
I love this! Congrats!
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| Posted 5/30/13 2:47 PM |
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babyfever24
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 3340 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
You've given me hope!
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| Posted 5/30/13 9:28 PM |
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
Thank you.
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| Posted 5/30/13 9:42 PM |
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curiousO
he is here.. thank you God
Member since 10/07 2344 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: A Post About Hope & Patience
Happy belated BDAY, S! wishing you lots of health, smiles, wonderful moments brought by your family!!!! enjoy your cutie
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| Posted 5/31/13 2:56 PM |
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A Post About Hope & Patience
OMG that was the sweetest, most personal & inspirational story, I have been lurking on here for many years and you have always been a constant cheerleader for all of us here. Thank you for being the type of mommy we all wish to be one day!!
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| Posted 6/1/13 9:16 AM |
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