Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

So this baby is coming soon--I'm in the 3rd trimester now. And I'm starting to get really nervous about having two. It's not about fearing the ability to love two. I know I can do that. It's more about DD (2 3/4) being a total handful right now and I'm almost a bit bummed that I'm not going to get to "enjoy" this baby like I did with her. She had a particularly bad night last night. Something has been up for the past couple of weeks and she's been waking and a nightmare to get back to sleep. And after I finally I got back into bed, I started to cry to DH and finally admitted how I feel. Clearly, I'm in an emotional, sleep-deprived and hormonal place right now, but I'm just so nervous that DD's terrible 2-3s, which have only recently gotten terrible, are going to overshadow my joy of a NB baby. DD can be so sweet and helpful, but she is also incredibly willful and really testing boundaries lately. I think this new baby is going to rock her world and I expect some acting out.

Does anyone else feel like this? Or has anyone else been through this and can tell me it won't be that bad.

Message edited 10/11/2013 11:09:02 AM.

Re: Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

I feel the same way at times. It's going to be amazing but hard at the same time. I have no advice because I am due any second now and DS is 2 yrs 4 months on Sunday. He goes from being the sweetest little boy to being a giant handful. I just keep telling myself it will all work out. Plenty of moms have done it before us. We will get through the hard days and there will be amazing days!

Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

It's funny - you and I have very similiar situations as we are both due December 30th and both have 1 child right now, same age (my son was born 2/3/11). I feel the same way and very nervous too. I know my son is going to feel jealous but I have been trying to get him excited how he is going to be a big brother and how he is going to help mommy and dady, so I have been trying taht approach. But, of course it will be different as before it was just DH and I with my son, so every moment was devoted to him, so now it's going to be a new transition. There are so many different emotions. So, you are not alone.....

Re: Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

I feel the exact same way. I am also in the 3rd tri and have an almost 2 year old who has been turning into a completely different child lately - and not for the better.

A newborn, even the easiest baby in the world, demands pretty much 100% of your attention and energy, but so does my DD right now. So I have no idea how I will do it, especially in those first few months. I had a tiny breakdown to DH a few days ago because I feel like my life is about to be over - two more months of relative freedom and then baby jail. I just don't know how I'll manage two, especially with one being a 2 year old that is constantly testing her limits. And I worry that the new baby is the one who's going to suffer and lose out with DD there trying to take all of my attention and acting out (which I'm sure will happen).

Anyway, I know exactly how you feel. I'm just trying not to focus too much on it, and enjoy these last few weeks before all hell breaks loose at my house.

Re: Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

My ds is four now and also is a handful. He will be five about two weeks after the baby comes and will be home with me during my maternity leave. Not sure if it will slightly be easier or harder due to his age. I am nervous but I know I will get through it. I honestly have no choice.

Re: Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

I definitely feel this way. I'm having my section on Tues and my DS has just recently (last few weeks) become much more of a handful. I'm not sure if he senses something is up or if it's just normal 2.5 year old stuff. Either way I'm terrified for when DH goes back to work and I am on my own with them. But we'll get through it somehow and eventually we'll forget what it was like having only one!

Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

I am 35 weeks right now and this thought crosses my mind frequently. When DS#1 is being particularly challenging (or even when he isn't!) I'm always thinking to myself, now imagine having 2 to bathe or 2 to convince to take fever medicine. My other thing is I'm tired a lot - PG or not! - and I take advantage of DS' nap times to nap myself. Now I'm like what do I do when I'm ready to wind down after DS goes to bed but the baby isn't having it...

Doesn't help my MIL is always pointing out how much harder it will be. Even if that is reality it doesn't help.

Re: Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

Re: Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

Thanks ladies. Glad to know it's not just me. I feel guilty for even feeling like that. I love my DD to pieces, even on her most spirited days. And I can't wait to meet this new baby. But the combo of caring for a NB on top of spirited toddler makes my head spin. My older brother was a lot like DD and my mom survived having me when we were 21 months apart. But I also think my mom has a lot more patience than I do

Re: Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

I had my second child 3 weeks ago and I'm not gonna lie, it's been a huge adjustment for my 2.5 year old dd. When my ds was first born dd came to the hospital and she seemed so confused and when we went home she acted out alot. She made me cry alot because she was so mean to me and I was so hormonal. I didn't even recognize her, that's how bad she was being. Things have definitely gotten better. I think now that Dh is back to work and the visitors have calmed down, we are getting back into her normal routine and she's been alot better.... But she still has her moments. She is 2 after all.

Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

My DD will be 4.5 when the new baby arrives so I am hoping she will adjust well, but I am preparing for a disaster lol. 4.5 years is a LONG time to be an only child! We keep talking about what a great big sister she will be and all of the things she will help me with etc. I know that in the long run they will both benefit from having siblings, but I definitely won't have the 100% one to one time I had with my first.

Re: Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

I could've written a lot of this myself. DS is going to be 3.2 when the new baby arrives and he definitely has his challenging days. Overall he's a great and easy going kid but he does like to test his boundaries and he gets bored easily which is when it gets challenging. I'm nearing the end of my first trimester and already feel super guilty because I've had terrible MS which lasts all day long and by the time I get home at 7 after work all I can do is lay down or I get violently ill. I was the one who did the whole bedtime routine but now DH took over everything and DS is definitely missing me a lot! I also feel bad that I won't get as much one on one time with the new baby like I did with DS and it really saddens me because this will most likely be my last, but I think our minds are just programmed to cope with these adjustments. I'm just bracing myself for an incredibly challenging first year and I believe that as long as me and DH are on a united front (which we don't always seem to be) it'll work itself out into an altered reality for us where we won't even remember our lives before having 2.

Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

I am just crashing here, but you will seriously be fine. DD1 was 23 months when DD2 was born. You just figure it out. Obviously when you have more than one you need to split your time, but luckily for me DD1 is just so in love with DD2 that she was always happy to just be with her. I EBF, and when I would nurse DD2 round the clock in the beginning I would try to focus my attention on DD1 while DD2 nursed - I would ask her to sing and dance for me, or we would just have a conversation. I would ask her for help with something or to get me something so she felt important and included. DD1 never gets upset when we need to give attention to DD2, and DD2 just doesn't know any other way. DD1 plays with DD2 constantly, so she gets that attention from a sibling that DD1 never had! Trust me, you will enjoy this baby. You might even enjoy it more since you are experienced now and will be more relaxed!

Message edited 10/15/2013 11:06:59 AM.

Re: Moms pregnant with no. 2...do you ever feel like this?

I just had my first 10 weeks ago and god willing, we will have more. I haven't admitted this to anyone but I'm actually really nervous to have more. I'm scared physically because now I know what actually happens. Ignorance really is bliss.

I'm also worried about the work that will come with another and splitting my time and attention. Then throw work into the mix. That being said, I can't imagine DD not having a sibling. I know it will be fine when the time comes.