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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
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MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
I am 6 weeks today. There was just an empty sack. My doc said I can go naturally or by D&C. I'm really torn over what to do. Any BTDT guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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Posted 10/2/13 11:11 PM  |
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JSDB
<3
Member since 1/13 1329 total posts
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
My doctor wanted to do a d&c because it was my second loss and he wanted to do testing. A d&c also seemed like the better choice to get it over with quicker. But I ended up passing everything naturally before my d&c. It was upsetting but in my case not terribly painful and the worst part was scooping the baby out of the toilet so they could still do testing and then sitting in the ER for 4 hours after the fact waiting for them to take it from me for testing :(
I would be absolutely sure it's not viable and give yourself a chance to mc naturally. But there is really no wrong answer. I wouldn't want to drag things out
I am sorry for your loss...
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| Posted 10/2/13 11:24 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by secretlyTTCagain
My doctor wanted to do a d&c because it was my second loss and he wanted to do testing. A d&c also seemed like the better choice to get it over with quicker. But I ended up passing everything naturally before my d&c. It was upsetting but in my case not terribly painful and the worst part was scooping the baby out of the toilet so they could still do testing and then sitting in the ER for 4 hours after the fact waiting for them to take it from me for testing :(
I would be absolutely sure it's not viable and give yourself a chance to mc naturally. But there is really no wrong answer. I wouldn't want to drag things out
I am sorry for your loss...
Thank you for responding. I am so sorry you had to go through that. That's adding insult to injury.
Not to be graphic or too personal, but is it just like a really heavy period? I'm afraid of being traumatized. Also, if I go naturally, should I just use really thick pads?
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| Posted 10/3/13 7:22 AM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
I would definitely go naturally. It's similar to a heavy period, but with lots of clotting and tissue. I just wore overnight pads. I was at work until about an hour before I usually leave and at that point the pain was getting really bad. I should have left earlier because I cried the entire drive home. By the time I got home I just grabbed the heating pad and laid down on our comfy couch in the basement and watched a Doctor Who marathon. I would definitely go naturally again, mainly because I've heard so many things about how D&C's scar you and scrape so much out unnecessarily - I really DON'T want that. Plus, it gave me that opportunity to really grieve.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's definitely not easy. But on here, at least you know that you are not alone.
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| Posted 10/3/13 8:19 AM |
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JSDB
<3
Member since 1/13 1329 total posts
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by FirstMate
Thank you for responding. I am so sorry you had to go through that. That's adding insult to injury.
Not to be graphic or too personal, but is it just like a really heavy period? I'm afraid of being traumatized. Also, if I go naturally, should I just use really thick pads?
I dont mind sharing, I was desperate for information and read extensively about other people's experiences when I was going through it. It honestly really depends on how far along you are. I've read that after 10 weeks or so a natural mc can be very painful. For me, I was 7 weeks and the baby had passed 1-2 days before. I had bleeding for about 48 hours with little clots, then started cramping and the bleeding got a little heavier with more clots. (I was at pre-surgical testing at the time and they asked how bad the pain was and I told them a 5 on a scale of 1-10. I have had worse period cramps). Then I felt the urge to go to the bathroom and also wanted to see how heavy the bleeding was and as soon as I sat down on the toilet I felt a gush, and I felt something come out and there was a big plop. I freaked out because I was not expecting that at all and there was a lot of blood and I could see that I had passed the sac (it was about 2" long and more solid, not a clot) and what I guess was the placenta. As soon as I passed those two the cramping stopped completely and I felt totally fine. I had two more days of period-like bleeding with small clots, then bled lightly for a few more days, and then spotted very sporadically for another 1-2 days.
If I wasn't worried about testing the tissue and didn't have to sit in the ER afterwards it wouldn't have been physically bad at all. It actually gave me closure because I was still in denial at that point and wondering if the DR was somehow wrong, since we had just seen a heartbeat 2 days earlier.
Message me if you have any other Qs 
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| Posted 10/3/13 9:46 AM |
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JWG421
Our miracle is here
Member since 12/12 2507 total posts
Name:
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Honestly everyone has there own opinions.
We had our MC at 7 weeks, and i wanted it over it, and get a clear mind.
I was also going on a cruise that follwoing week so me, DH adn my re decided it would be in my best interest to have a D&C plus he wanted to send it for testing.
Honeslty it was a very easy procedure and i lighty bled for a week w minor cramping.. then just had to wait for mybeta to drop and AF to come.
Long story short, i am now 14 week preg and this is my cycle after our MC
Message edited 10/3/2013 10:20:00 AM.
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| Posted 10/3/13 10:18 AM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
I am sorry for your loss--I know the whole thing just plain sucks.
When I found out I would miscarry, I planned a D&C but then ended up going naturally before that--around 9.5 weeks. I called my doctor when I started bleeding and she prescribed cytotec to move things along. I used it as a suppository that night, but orally at her office a few days later. Maybe you could ask to try that first?
As for the actual situation, yes, I would say it was like a heavy period and with very intense cramps. I lined my bed that night with a towel, but it was unnecessary...the overnight pad was fine.
Hang in there...
Message edited 10/3/2013 11:25:37 AM.
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| Posted 10/3/13 11:25 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Thank you to all of you. I'm such a basket case right now and your stories are really helpful and reassuring.
My instinct is to go naturally just because I feel like it's better to go that way and just let nature take it's course. I also have other medical reasons that surgery may not be the best option for me. I had an incompetent cervix my last pregnancy and I'm worried that a D&C will make it worse.
Then I think that the D&C may be better just to know everything is out all at once and it's done and over with. No waiting around and I won't have to see all that is coming out. Part of me thinks it can't be worse than what I experienced after giving birth but I don't know?
I have calls out to a couple of my doctors to see what their opinions are. I THINK what I'm going to do is schedule the D&C for a week out and see what happens in the interim.
Thank you all again. It's so helpful.
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| Posted 10/3/13 11:41 AM |
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JSDB
<3
Member since 1/13 1329 total posts
Name:
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by FirstMate
Thank you to all of you. I'm such a basket case right now and your stories are really helpful and reassuring.
My instinct is to go naturally just because I feel like it's better to go that way and just let nature take it's course. I also have other medical reasons that surgery may not be the best option for me. I had an incompetent cervix my last pregnancy and I'm worried that a D&C will make it worse.
Then I think that the D&C may be better just to know everything is out all at once and it's done and over with. No waiting around and I won't have to see all that is coming out. Part of me thinks it can't be worse than what I experienced after giving birth but I don't know?
I have calls out to a couple of my doctors to see what their opinions are. I THINK what I'm going to do is schedule the D&C for a week out and see what happens in the interim.
Thank you all again. It's so helpful.
I think your plan is a good one. I initially agreed to the D&C because we wanted to do testing and because I wanted things over ASAP. But, I found out on Thurs and we couldn't schedule the D&C until Monday and I passed everyting on my own on Friday.
It's possible to miss something during the D&C. It's also possible to pass everything quickly on your own. It just depends.
I had a sono two days later and my OB told me I passed everything, but tomorrow will be 2 weeks after and I am still getting pretty dark positives so my HCG isn't down yet. I worry a little that maybe there is something left...
You have to do what is most comfortable for you. I am glad I did pass things naturally but if I had to wait around for weeks waiting for things to happen I dont think I could have handled it.
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| Posted 10/3/13 12:08 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
First...I'm so sorry for your loss. Second...the only reason I would opt for a D&C is because with a natural mc, you never know when it's going to happen. I had a natural mc at 11 weeks and it started while I was driving home from work on a Friday night. I literally had to run to the bathroom when I got home (sorry if TMI).
Are you spotting/cramping/bleeding at all?
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| Posted 10/3/13 1:41 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by StaceyWill
First...I'm so sorry for your loss. Second...the only reason I would opt for a D&C is because with a natural mc, you never know when it's going to happen. I had a natural mc at 11 weeks and it started while I was driving home from work on a Friday night. I literally had to run to the bathroom when I got home (sorry if TMI).
Are you spotting/cramping/bleeding at all?
You poor thing. That must have been a nightmare. Nothing is happening yet. I just stopped progesterone yesterday. I scheduled the D&C for next week buy my doc is hopeful that it will naturally happen before that. Sometimes, it just really sucks being a woman
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| Posted 10/3/13 4:00 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Message edited 10/30/2013 12:07:18 AM.
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| Posted 10/3/13 4:03 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
i'm so sorry
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| Posted 10/3/13 4:27 PM |
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Michelle1110
My family is complete
Member since 1/12 2338 total posts
Name:
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MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
I stopped progesterone yesterday morning and I already started bleeding. Saw the dr today and he said I will pass it naturally within the next course if days. My cramping is getting worse but not unbearable. I was very early along though at 5 weeks and nothing could be seen on the Sono today. I think, given the chance, I would opt for d and c so I wouldn't have to worry when it will get worse. Etc.
If you need to talk pm me.
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| Posted 10/3/13 6:27 PM |
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thiadora
Happy Little Girl
Member since 5/05 3830 total posts
Name:
Thia (Cynthia)
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
I've had 2 natural m/c's.
The first one started before I even had my first dr's appt. It was like a heavy period. No cramping at all. It lasted about 12 days. It was more painful emotionally than physically.
My second one was a truly horrible experience. I was a little further along. I went to my first sono/7 wk appt. and I was measuring 2 wks behind. The heartbeat flickered a little bit. (So I wasn't over 10 wks.) I had hours of painful cramping the first day. Then for the next 3 days, every 13 hours (literally on the dot), I experienced about an 1 hr of the most painful cramping I have ever experienced.
I generally prefer the idea of doing things naturally, however, knowing what I experienced, I don't know if I could subject myself to that again. (I sent my DS to my parents house to stay with them while it was going on because I didn't want him to see me that way- he was 2-1/2)
I'm am sorry that you are going through this. It is not an easy decision to make.
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| Posted 10/3/13 11:52 PM |
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DECGRAPE
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/13 39 total posts
Name:
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
i chose to have an in-office d&c for timing reasons - i work with all men and couldn't take a lot of time off so i was scared i'd start it naturally and then have to like have a scene at work.
the d&c was over in 15 min and had 10 min recovery and then light cramping. it wasn't bad at all.
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| Posted 10/8/13 10:37 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
I had the D&C today. I'm glad I did it and I'm glad I can move on now. It's been a long week. I feel good, hopefully it stays that way, and now I can work on losing the ridiculous amount of weight I gained over the past 7 weeks!
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| Posted 10/10/13 11:27 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by FirstMate
I had the D&C today. I'm glad I did it and I'm glad I can move on now. It's been a long week. I feel good, hopefully it stays that way, and now I can work on losing the ridiculous amount of weight I gained over the past 7 weeks!
I'm glad you are feeling good right now - however, I will say that the emotional process of healing takes a long time. You might be doing great then one day you see something or something happens and BAM, you're a blubbering mess. ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL THAT WAY. If you need to cry, let it out, if you need to scream, yell it out. Don't keep it in because you think you need to be OK, just allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling.
ETA: Also, if you are feeling fine, and are happy, that's awesome!
Message edited 10/11/2013 11:13:32 AM.
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| Posted 10/11/13 11:12 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by FirstMate
I had the D&C today. I'm glad I did it and I'm glad I can move on now. It's been a long week. I feel good, hopefully it stays that way, and now I can work on losing the ridiculous amount of weight I gained over the past 7 weeks!
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| Posted 10/12/13 12:14 PM |
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
I had one miscarriage and unfortunately had the pleasure of experiencing natural miscarriage, taking pills and also a D&C so I've BTDT...
NONE of them really hurt physically. The D&C was definitely the least taxing on my emotions as it was over and done immediately and then all I had was some spotting for a week after. waiting to pass the sac naturally was VERY difficult in the sense that I just wanted it to be OVER and the waiting was just so taxing on my soul.
I waited to miscarriage naturally and then my last choice was the D&C and wound up with that in the end anyway. You will have to decide for yourself what route you want to take...but whatever you choose, I am sending you lots of hugs and love because NO ONE should ever have to go through a loss of a child.
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| Posted 10/14/13 10:39 AM |
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Alyssa79
LIF Infant
Member since 10/13 352 total posts
Name:
Triple A
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
I'm sorry for your loss :(
I did mine naturally (I was 9 weeks).
While it was one of the hardest things to go through emotionally, mentally and physically I would choose this route again if it came down to it - I feel nature ran its course.
I had a lot of pain and discomfort and as much as the dr's office told me what I might feel, I still wasn't prepared for what I was up against.
Either way it sucks but I feel our bodies aren't ready and it's its way of telling us.
Editied b/c I just realized I have never "spoken" about this to anyone really and i actually feel a little better discussing it now
Message edited 10/14/2013 4:26:17 PM.
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| Posted 10/14/13 4:24 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by Alyssa79
I'm sorry for your loss :(
I did mine naturally (I was 9 weeks).
While it was one of the hardest things to go through emotionally, mentally and physically I would choose this route again if it came down to it - I feel nature ran its course.
I had a lot of pain and discomfort and as much as the dr's office told me what I might feel, I still wasn't prepared for what I was up against.
Either way it sucks but I feel our bodies aren't ready and it's its way of telling us.
Editied b/c I just realized I have never "spoken" about this to anyone really and i actually feel a little better discussing it now
I think it is so important to talk about it - it definitely helps with the healing process. I HATE that there is this stigma that comes with IF and well, just fertility and TTC in general. It's like the whole process (regardless of whether you are having difficulties or not) is sort of talked about only behind closed doors and I hate that.
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| Posted 10/14/13 4:45 PM |
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Alyssa79
LIF Infant
Member since 10/13 352 total posts
Name:
Triple A
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by jessnbrian
Posted by Alyssa79
I'm sorry for your loss :(
I did mine naturally (I was 9 weeks).
While it was one of the hardest things to go through emotionally, mentally and physically I would choose this route again if it came down to it - I feel nature ran its course.
I had a lot of pain and discomfort and as much as the dr's office told me what I might feel, I still wasn't prepared for what I was up against.
Either way it sucks but I feel our bodies aren't ready and it's its way of telling us.
Editied b/c I just realized I have never "spoken" about this to anyone really and i actually feel a little better discussing it now
I think it is so important to talk about it - it definitely helps with the healing process. I HATE that there is this stigma that comes with IF and well, just fertility and TTC in general. It's like the whole process (regardless of whether you are having difficulties or not) is sort of talked about only behind closed doors and I hate that.
I definitely agree with you but as a person who doesn't really discuss what goes on in my life I'm not really open to just discussing. Plus my dad passed away a few months before that so no one (and I mean no one) should've heard what was going on in my head at that extremely depressing time
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| Posted 10/14/13 4:56 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by Alyssa79
Posted by jessnbrian
Posted by Alyssa79
I'm sorry for your loss :(
I did mine naturally (I was 9 weeks).
While it was one of the hardest things to go through emotionally, mentally and physically I would choose this route again if it came down to it - I feel nature ran its course.
I had a lot of pain and discomfort and as much as the dr's office told me what I might feel, I still wasn't prepared for what I was up against.
Either way it sucks but I feel our bodies aren't ready and it's its way of telling us.
Editied b/c I just realized I have never "spoken" about this to anyone really and i actually feel a little better discussing it now
I think it is so important to talk about it - it definitely helps with the healing process. I HATE that there is this stigma that comes with IF and well, just fertility and TTC in general. It's like the whole process (regardless of whether you are having difficulties or not) is sort of talked about only behind closed doors and I hate that.
I definitely agree with you but as a person who doesn't really discuss what goes on in my life I'm not really open to just discussing. Plus my dad passed away a few months before that so no one (and I mean no one) should've heard what was going on in my head at that extremely depressing time
First, I am so very sorry for your losses, I can't even imagine going through all of that. I totally get being a private person, but those are DEFINITELY the times that you need to share what's going on. (Though I will absolutely admit that EVERYONE'S grieving process is different.) I just know that for myself (and many of my friends and family) it's when we keep it inside that we get in trouble and resort to other forms of relief (alcohol, drugs, cutting, over eating, starving, etc). I hope you find that this to be a safe haven for sharing!
ETA: And honestly if you shared and someone judged you, then eff them - no one has the right, and if the people in your life are not able to listen without judgement then you need new people in your life. I have legit 2 good friends, and that's about it. They are sisters to me and both of them have known me through my worst times - times when I was contemplating drastic measures and drinking heavily. Thanks to their friendship and support I am NOT in those places anymore, and would know that if I were to get depressed again I could go straight to them or my DH for the support and guidance (to a therapist, lol) that I needed.
Message edited 10/14/2013 5:07:32 PM.
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| Posted 10/14/13 5:04 PM |
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Alyssa79
LIF Infant
Member since 10/13 352 total posts
Name:
Triple A
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Re: MC is inevitable...natural v. D&C? Need guidance please
Posted by jessnbrian
Posted by Alyssa79
Posted by jessnbrian
Posted by Alyssa79
I'm sorry for your loss :(
I did mine naturally (I was 9 weeks).
While it was one of the hardest things to go through emotionally, mentally and physically I would choose this route again if it came down to it - I feel nature ran its course.
I had a lot of pain and discomfort and as much as the dr's office told me what I might feel, I still wasn't prepared for what I was up against.
Either way it sucks but I feel our bodies aren't ready and it's its way of telling us.
Editied b/c I just realized I have never "spoken" about this to anyone really and i actually feel a little better discussing it now
I think it is so important to talk about it - it definitely helps with the healing process. I HATE that there is this stigma that comes with IF and well, just fertility and TTC in general. It's like the whole process (regardless of whether you are having difficulties or not) is sort of talked about only behind closed doors and I hate that.
I definitely agree with you but as a person who doesn't really discuss what goes on in my life I'm not really open to just discussing. Plus my dad passed away a few months before that so no one (and I mean no one) should've heard what was going on in my head at that extremely depressing time
First, I am so very sorry for your losses, I can't even imagine going through all of that. I totally get being a private person, but those are DEFINITELY the times that you need to share what's going on. (Though I will absolutely admit that EVERYONE'S grieving process is different.) I just know that for myself (and many of my friends and family) it's when we keep it inside that we get in trouble and resort to other forms of relief (alcohol, drugs, cutting, over eating, starving, etc). I hope you find that this to be a safe haven for sharing!
ETA: And honestly if you shared and someone judged you, then eff them - no one has the right, and if the people in your life are not able to listen without judgement then you need new people in your life. I have legit 2 good friends, and that's about it. They are sisters to me and both of them have known me through my worst times - times when I was contemplating drastic measures and drinking heavily. Thanks to their friendship and support I am NOT in those places anymore, and would know that if I were to get depressed again I could go straight to them or my DH for the support and guidance (to a therapist, lol) that I needed.
agreed and as time passes I do wish I did things differently and spoke about it and opened up more. it's nice when you know people are there for you (truly there) and my word of advice is that even if you think people don't care about your problems or aren't there for you..there might just be that 1 or 2 that is.
Thanks Jess for making me talk
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| Posted 10/14/13 5:22 PM |
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