Temper Tantantrums at 8 years old - please help!!!

I'm at the end of my rope.

DS is 8 years old. He's an only child.

He has always had issues when things didn't go his way whether it was playing a game or being told not to do something by me and DH.

I thought he'd have outgrown it by now or at least learned to control his temper. His pediatrician said that most kids don't learn to control their emotions until 8.

One time last year a boy got in his face and was teasing him about liking a particular baseball team and DS smacked him in the face. That was the only incident of that kind.

We've noticed that a lot of the time he acts out is when things aren't "perfect" - if he doesn't pitch the perfect game, he loses a game with friends, doesn't do great on a test. We've tried to tell him its all a learning experience but he still gets mad.

When he acts out we've tried grounding or taking away privileges but the outbursts continue.

Well he had a temper tantrum in school yesterday. He lost some of the "being good" tickets the teacher hands out to students and the teacher said she can't replace them and its his responsibility to keep track of them, which I agree with.

He pulled off his baseball hat and kicked it across the room then started hitting one of the posters hanging on the wall. I'm so worried that they are going to send him to the school for kids with behavior problems.

After the teacher called I sat down with him and asked is something was bothering him. I knew that he was having trouble with two kids at school but so far he's been handling this. He then start to cry and say he was worried he was going to "fail" the recorder concert, he doesn't like going to school because of all the new work and that he was scared he wasn't going to go to 4th grade if he "fails" the ELA and math tests.

I don't know where this is coming from We NEVER put pressure on him because of tests or school work other than telling him he has to do him homework. He is bright, does great in math, gets mostly 4s on his report card and from what I've been told participates in the classroom.

I don't know how to get through to him that everything in life does not always go your way, you can't have everything your way and just to do your best at whatever you do.

How do you teach a kid to control their anger. We tried telling him to take a breath, count to 10, remove yourself from the situation...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I'm just so scared.

Temper Tantantrums at 8 years old - please help!!!

I'm a child therapist. Sounds like this is more rooted in anxiety then anger, and it is coming out in behavioral ways. Some therapy sessions would may be helpful for him

Temper Tantantrums at 8 years old - please help!!!

What is the best way to get a recommendation for a therapist? Through his pediatrician?