Mother in law drama

Ok moms.. Quick opinion. My MiL and her husband smoke like chimneys in the garage attached to her house so her whole house smells. Every gift she's ever given any of us stinks.. Esp DS's clothes which I won't even put in his hamper to wash cuz they smell so bad. DS is only 10 months and had eczema and breathing issues to where we had to give him nebulizer treatments 4 times a day for weeks. The doc had told me how awful 2nd and 3rd hand smoke is for him so I've kept him away from my MiL's house because of that and all she does is complain we never come over.. But I'm just trying to protect my sons health.. And they even will go smoke while he's there. Do you think I'm overreacting or do you agree??

Re: Mother in law drama

I agree. I would not expose dd to third hand smoke, and especially if there are already medical issues going on. Maybe this will be incentive for them to quit, or at least significantly cut down.

Re: Mother in law drama

Re: Mother in law drama

Where do they smoke when they come to your house? If they want to see him maybe they can come to you? I totally agree that you are not over reacting, but I would tell them why you avoid their house if you haven't already.

Mother in law drama

I don't think you're overreacting at all. No way I would put my child's health at risk to appease them. It's not as if you're saying they can't see him, just that you don't want him at their house.

Re: Mother in law drama

Mother in law drama

my twins are 3 and my DS is 15 months. They have never stepped foot in my Inlaws house because my FIL smokes in the house. They will never step foot in their house. I don;t think you are over reacting at all.

Mother in law drama

I don't think you are overreacting at all. My Inlaws smoke as well and much as I don't want them near it I can't keep my kids away. Mil watches the kids one day a week and Dh takes them to the house when I work late. They always come home with the faint smell of cigarettes so its instant baths and washing the clothes. DD is going to be 3 so I try to explain to her she needs to stay away from them if they are smoking because its yucky. Dh grew up with the smoke so he thinks nothing of it and I'm sure he thinks I overreact about it but we don't smoke and I don't want my kids near it

Mother in law drama

You are not over reacting
We don't bring dd to my fil's house for the same reason
He knows of he wants to see us he either comes over (and if he needs to smoke he goes outside) or we meet somewhere

Mother in law drama

You're not overreacting at all. Even if my DC didn't have breathing problems, I wouldn't want them near 2nd or 3rd hand smoke. No way.

Re: Mother in law drama

Second and third hand smoke is god awful for anyone, especially a small child with breathing issues. Keep your baby safe.

Message edited 11/20/2013 10:21:45 PM.

Re: Mother in law drama

Thank you all so much. Glad to hear you agree. My husband luckily agrees too!

Re: Mother in law drama

I 100000% agree with you! I'm in the same situation, my FIL is a chain smoker & not only does their house stink (even though he only smokes in the garage), but my DH is always coughing when we go over there & I get headaches... anything they give us needs to get washed as soon as I get home. They don't even notice the smell!! I am really trying to limit the amount of time DS spends there... interesting that you mentioned eczema because DS has it too, I never knew there was a connection. All the more reason to stay away. I haven't told them their house is gross, but it may come to that.

Re: Mother in law drama

Re: Mother in law drama

You're not over reacting. Have you told her the reasons why you don't go over there? If she reacts in a negative way, she's selfish . I would have no problem telling her a piece of my mind. Lol I did that with monster in law.
Kudos to you for keeping your baby safe and healthy.
You're a great mom, don't sweat it.

Re: Mother in law drama

I posted this somewhere else... thinking it was this topic....

Honestly...
REALLY Honestly...
I don't like second hand smoke & the smell of cigarette smoke... I almost killed my hubby when he had a few cigarettes 5 yrs ago.

But I was watched by my chain smoking grandpa when I was young. It was for hours a day, every day because my mom worked FT.

I'd go visit my chain smoking uncle all the time.

They both smoked outside.

I'm OK. (I have no lung issues to start though)

Being around a smoker used to be very, very common.

I think a visit for a few hours very occasionally will probably not kill your child.

It is ULTIMATELY your choice (but if you choose to go, don't feel like you are killing your child).

Mother in law drama

There is no way you are over reacting and your dh agrees so problem solved. I would never let anyone even hold dd if they had a cigarette before that and their clothes had it on them. 3rd hand smoke can be just as bad to them. Good for you for sticking your ground. Your child, your rules.

Re: Mother in law drama

not overreacting AT ALL - particularly b/c your son already has issues breathing.

Does your MIL WANT to cause him to have an asthma attack?

Re: Mother in law drama

Your child, your rules. If they want to see the baby, then they can come to your house.

Even if they quit smoking (which is very, very hard) their house will always retain that smell. Just do what's best for your baby and don't worry about it.

Mother in law drama

Not overreacting at all! Unfortunately, I am in a similar situation but it's my mother who smokes. IN THE HOUSE! She has been smoking in the house for 20+ years. My DS has allergies, eczema and breathing problems as well (daily inhaler). I told her flat out that DS cannot come over because you smoke in the house and it's terrible for his health. She complains all the time about it and gives me a total guilt trip. But DS's health comes first. Sorry you are in this position. I know how much it sucks.

Re: Mother in law drama

My brother was a severe asthmatic as a child. In fact he almost died a few times. My nana was a huge smoker 3 packs a day. My mom wouldn't let my brother over there because of the smoke. She was very honest and told her why he couldn't be there. My nana was sad but understood and eventually quit. I'd explain to your in laws that its for the safety of your child. If they can't understand that then they will just have to stay pissed off its tough your child's health is the most important!

Re: Mother in law drama

I don't think you are over reacting. Maybe you or your DH can tell them why. Explain DS issues with eczema etc so maybe they will think twice.

Re: Mother in law drama

Hell no are you wrong. I wouldnt even want her in my house, especially with his health concerns.

ETA: My friend always made her MIL who is a smoker changer her shirt before she held the baby. She probably complained to other people, but she always did it.

Message edited 11/21/2013 5:22:26 PM.