Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

I think I may have posted something similar last year but DS (almost 6) is very spoiled (by my parents and inlaws- it's a constant issue). He's also very OCD. Last year he didn't seem thankful and it bothered me. This year he literally cried on Christmas morning because he didn't get 2 things on his list. I punished him and I cried. I couldn't believe how greedy he seemed. Then a bit later I thought maybe it had more to do with not completing his list. I don't know. I just don't know how to make him more thankful for how lucky he is. Really upsets me. Just needed to vent I guess. I feel like such a magical time was ruined. Luckily the rest of the day he was good but still....

Re: Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

I have a little spoiled one myself. He's 7. He must have gotten 50 gifts for Christmas and was still asking for more. He didn't even want to say thank you. We explained to him that he needs to stop asking for things and start asking what he can help with. I spoke to my husband about it and he is only getting gifts for holidays and his birthday. I'm sure it's the age too.

I can see where you are getting upset. You can always take things away and have him earn them back.

Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

DD is very OCD too. When she wrote out her Christmas list, I only allowed her to write 5 items because like you mentioned above if she did not get everything on her list she would have freaked out. So she got the five things which made her happy as well as other stuff. I have to say she enjoyed the things she didn't ask for because she thought it was magic. I got her a silly One Direction beach towel and all she said for about an hour is how did Santa know that is her favorite band...he has so much magic!! It was great to see.

Sometimes, depending on the child you need to set expectations to them before the event. We talk about how to say thank you after every gift she opens and not to say she doesn't like anything until she gets home.

Re: Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

I remember your post from last year and I have to agree with the poster above mine who suggested setting reasonable expectations in advance. If you think of it from the perspective of a child, and you ask them to make a list they might expect everything on the list to appear. I was really careful explaining to my kids that they could make a list but they would not receive everything on the list. I asked them to rank the items in importance to them so I knew to get the top item. There was one toy they saw after I had already purchased the items on the list. I specifically said that they were not going to get that item. It was really expensive and had bad reviews. My son was upset with me, but he understood that you can't get everything. He was very happy with what he did receive. Yesterday he saw a commercial for the item again, and he did ask for it. I told him I am sorry that you can't get everything you want. I think being able to deal with disappointment is a big life lesson and something that is important to teach a child.

Re: Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

Thank you for the replies. Yes, I did speak to him several times about how he would not get everything on his list, that they were just ideas for Santa and that he should be thankful for whatever he was lucky enough to get. We even went through the toy room to make a donation bag for children less fortunate. I was hoping he would understand. I do like the idea of only letting him put maybe 5 things or so on the list.

Re: Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

Re: Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

I think Christmas is sooo overwhelming for kids. It's like Disney world where they just can't take it all in and implode

That being said, DS is very specific about what he wants. Luckily his lists are kind of vague (he just asked for lego sets, with nothing specific....although he started asking for Lone Ranger lego sets) so he was happy with what he got.

However, if he gets something that doesn't interest him, he won't open it or look at it. He will say a polite thank you but then I know it will never be touched. My SIL gets hurt when she thinks of getting him something a little different and then he not going apeshitt over it.... She will always get something I ask, but then she will try to wow him with something unique and he never gets wowed. Ever. I made the mistake of buying something That I thought would interest him but not what he asked for. And then it never gets played with.

I have learned to just not open the toys, and if I can't return them, either regift them (they are nice things) or save them for toys for tots for the following year.

Message edited 12/31/2013 4:59:43 PM.

Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

What helped and hit home in our house was not so much kids who were less fortunate or didn't have toys but kids who didn't have food to eat - we made pb and j sandwiches and brought them to the inn - we did the INN tour too. My daughter still wants "things" but she has a different outlook when she doesn't get them.

Re: Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

I just found out my son told my mom he didn't get a lot from Santa which is not true and now my mom told him mrs Claus is stopping by her house on the 6th to give presents to her grand kids. My son got plenty and is just acting greedy and he knows he can go to grandma she told me to make a list and I sure am iPad mini, Xbox, hmmmm Want to teach her a lesson...

Message edited 1/2/2014 11:58:14 AM.

Re: Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

Re: Disappointed in DS's behavior Christmas morning

It's frustrating.

DS just turned 5, was the first born grandchild and the only grandchild on my parent's side.

In addition to getting everything under the sun for Christmas, his birthday is on 12/30.

He kept asking if "that's it" despite the fact that the piles of gifts seemed never ending.

Personally, I think he's too young to get the fact that there are other kids who have nothing, even though we tell him.

He has other behavior that is much more challenging to deal with at this point, so we've been choosing our battles.


DH does think that a lot of his behavior has to do with the fact that he's an only child and "quite spoiled".