If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

I am just curious if you have a routine and do you manage to get everything done like cooking and chores?!? Don't get me wrong I LOVE staying at home but often feel like I can't get ahead. i.e. there is always a mess to clean up in the kitchen, always laundry to be folded, always cleaning to get done, etc, etc. I usually go out 2-3x a week with DD to music class, play date or errands and that aways seems to set me back in keeping up with the house. I also try to work out 3-4x a week and always take a shower when she naps or after she goes down for bed. My husband helps a lot (with chores and DD) when he is home but was away a lot with his new job and things are a lil harder now. I do not sit down until 9pm at night...this is normal right? I mean I do give myself 30 min to check emails and Facebook but other than that it is go go go.

So just trying to reorganize for the new year and prioritize. I feel like I like to get all major cleaning done Mon and Tues that way it's out of the way and most my play dates and music class are at the end of the week anyway. I am trying to get cooking done and prepped early. My workouts need to happen before 11am otherwise they don't happen and I need to shower or clean during her nap. I try to clean dinner as DD is eating but she is still very needy and I have to tend to her several times so it's tricky. Any other tips? Anyway today was just hard and I had so much to do and felt like I gave DD no attention :(. Sometimes I let chores go and just do them on the weekend but that sucks for DH.

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Yes!!! dS is 3 years old, an only child, and I'm a SAHM. I feel the same way! I think it's harder with one, BC he doesn't have anybody to entertain/distract him but me
It's always mommy play this with me, ,mommy can you do this with me? So it's very hard to get anything done. And my husband is good with him, cooks dinner, etc.... But for some reason it's not enough
We also don't have any of DSs grandparents close by to take him for an hour or so so I can get stuff done, or just to give him new people to entertain him. It's tough
BUT I did start sending him to a 2 morning a week nursery school, which has been great all around. I get 5 hours a week without him, and he gets some time with other kids. not sure how old your dd is... But that might be worth looking into.
Other than that, just keep going along enjoy the time at home and remember it won't be like this forever ( lol I should take my own advice!!!)

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

the not sitting down til 9pm is normal to me, so I assume it's normal
I'm not gonna lie, I do let dd watch some tv which helps. she's OBSESSED with mickey mouse clubhouse, and every night after dinner, she watches an episode while still in her high chair. so I use that 25min to get the bathroom ready for her bath, feed the dogs, clean up the kitchen from dinner etc.
IF - and only if - I NEED to take a shower and get myself ready for something specific and dh is not going to be home at all - I will sometimes put one on for her after breakfast too. I've tried letting her play in the bathroom while I shower but she wants the curtain open or throws a fit of hysteria so it's not worth it. most times I will shower while she's napping... but she ONLY takes one nap a day - and it's 99% of the time 30minutes. so I have to do what I have to do, if we have somewhere to be etc. I hate getting up earlier than her to shower, bc I'm up late every night doing stuff around the house or relaxing for a bit. dd is pretty good at playing by herself so there are certain chores I will do beside her. like I will fold laundry in her room, while she's occupied sitting looking through her books. I'm right there talking to her, but getting something done at the same time. also I work out - but either I go to a zumba class 1-2x a week after I put her to bed, or I do a 30min work out dvd - and I have one of those pens that I put her in, in our exercise room and she'll play with toys in there next to me while I work out. we do that 1st thing almost every morning... it's our routine and she's content with it. she gets super excited actually - I keep certain toys in there that she doesn't get the rest of the day.
sometimes if I complain about how hard it can get, dh will be all "you're a SAHM of one kid - how hard can your life be?" and I want to THROTTLE him. I'm SURE people have it harder, but that doesn't make it easy. dh works a crazy schedule and we literally don't see his face for 2-3 days at a time each week so I have NO breaks, no help etc. and when he is home - he does not, and never has, helped out around the house so that is ALL me. now dd just gets an early morning and a bedtime bottle but he doesn't do bottles - never has. he's never woken up with her, never has gotten up with her when she wakes in the morning, never gave a bath or did bedtime and I do meals 99% of the time. it's a lot of work when you're one on one with a little one all day every day and trying to run a household on top of it can be stressful. and having a child who has never really napped longer than 30min... I rarely start a project bc I know I don't have very long so I'm up til midnight most nights.

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Yes you girls sound like me. I have no grandparents and no help so it's all me all the time. I don't get a break, I don't get to run errands alone unless DH is home, I don't get a date night etc. It's ok though, I feel very independent and DH and I really make it work! I do make and prep all her meals and ours...sometimes DH cooks or we get takeout but I try to cook 4 nights a week. And like I said he gela ALOT, I am lucky. He cleans and food shops and puts DD to bed when he is in town.

DD does play well by herself too so I can vacuum or clean bathrooms while she is occupied. I work out and shower with her next to me too lol. She comes in the bathroom with me and loves going through my drawers and is obsessed with playing with my tampons and pads hahahahaha. So yeah we make it work. Glad to know I am not alone though.

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

I couldn't get past "cooking and chores" without laughing my ass off. I do cook fairly often...but as for the chores...it's like i clean and clean and clean and accomplish nothing! DS is 2.5

If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Sounds normal to me! I will admit DD and I both like to be bums first thing in the morning so I let her watch sesame street while I drink my coffee and hang out for a bit. Once that's over it's like the marathon starts and it's go go go all morning. Getting her breakfast, cleaning, getting us both ready and out the door alone is a lot. We have something to do nearly every morning between classes, running errands, or visiting my grandmother. Then it's back home for lunch and finally nap time. By the time DD goes down at 1 I'm usually ready to collapse. I try to relax a bit and have my own lunch before I'm back up showering, cleaning, laundry, etc. I'm lucky that DD takes a long nap (I sometimes have to wake her up after 3 hours) so I do relax a bit by the end of that too since the evenings are hectic too between dinner, cleaning up, and baths. DH is great but he doesn't help much with the chores around the house bc he's wiped out after work and is always busy with renovations around the house too. He does give DD a bath half the time and helps put her to bed. As far as cleaning, I like to invite company over when I can bc that's about the only time he helps! I don't know how you ladies have the energy to work out after DC goes to bed. I actually forgot to take a shower the other night after putting it off till DD went to bed. I get a little cleaning done if I need to but by 8:30 I'm ready to collapse.

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

I am a SAHM of 1 child, and I feel the same way. The chores and cooking is never-ending... and it never all gets done at once. It's constant and I feel I do the same thing 100x in one day. I usually have 2 or 3 activities per week that I do with DD (like swim or a playdate group). Other than that, we stay home. Sometimes she is really good about playing independently... so that gives me time to cook, do the floors or the bathroom, etc. But more often she needs so much attention. I shower immediately when DH wakes up in the morning, he watches DD for that 15-30 minutes I get to myself to shower and get dressed. I usually check my e-mail when I'm getting dressed lol. Then, when DD naps, I usually need to nap. If I don't... I am working on a project or relaxing (reading a book or something). Our 1 bedroom apartment is very small and DD wakes to a lot of the cleaning noises so I feel like I can't do chores or cooking while she is napping. By 10pm I want to be asleep but DH stays up until almost midnight. I start prepping dinner in the morning and continue working on it in any 10 minute increments I get throughout the day. But sometimes, dinner for DH and I doesn't get served until 9pm!! Sometimes, we have a family meal at 5pm. So it really depends on DD's mood and the difficulty level of the meal. I have been trying to find quicker and easier meals. I do less chores than I did before DD came along. Only the essentials get done now unless a guest is coming and DH can watch DD while I scrub away. I haven't worked out since she was born but now I'm trying to go during the weekends when dh can watch her for an hour. it is soooo hard! im exhausted all of the time. i hate it. but i can't imagine working. I have no idea how working moms do it. I give them sooo much credit. I would literally die. Being a SAHM is so hard and when you are in it, it feels insane. but sometimes when I think about having to juggle a career too, I just cry. It makes my job right now seem so easy and nice. So I try to think about that when it seems hard.

If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

When DD was a baby I couldnt get anything done until after she went to bed. But she's 2.5 now and I feel like its so much easier. I do all my cleaning with her and she likes to follow me around and I give her a paper towel so she can "help" me. She helps me with laundry too. I cook a lot and DD likes to watch me or I'll give her a bowl and spoon so she can pretend she's cooking too. As long as she is being kept busy and a part of what I'm doing, then she's ok. I still shower at night after she goes to bed cause its more relaxing for me and I get to actually enjoy my shower.

If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Wow I can't even imagine what it would be like being a SAHM with 1 child..

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Posted by skinny

Posted by TripletMom

Wow I can't even imagine what it would be like being a SAHM with 1 child..

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

I am a new SAHM to my 7 week old daughter and I can't get anything done!!! She doesn't nap longer than about 15 minutes unless I'm holding her. I feel like my house is always a mess and forget cooking! I'm hoping I get her napping on her own and that might help. Pre-baby I taught 5 days a week, tutored 2 days after work, did ABA therapy 2 days after work, sat on the board of a volunteer organization, and I always got things done at home! Lol

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Message edited 1/8/2014 1:45:59 PM.

If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Nope skinny went from 0>>2 in one shot.

Message edited 1/8/2014 2:30:57 PM.

If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

The OP was looking to share her experience with others in the same boat. I think it's ridiculous to turn this into a debate about whether or not it's harder to have more than one child. I'd like to say no one would debate that but on this site anything is possible.

Speaking for myself, I would love to be a mom to two right now and three eventually but I haven't been blessed with that yet.

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

My LO is still very little (4 months) but I find myself getting everything done because I put DD in a bouncer or rocker or something else and get things done.
I am sure when she becomes more mobile it will be harder.

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Posted by TripletMom

Nope skinny went from 0>>2 in one shot.

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Hmmm. I don't get everything done, but I don't particularly care, so it doesn't bother me. Today I decided to run errands and do as much as possible because I am helping my dh'a business. It was ridiculous! Too much! I was non-stop at stores from 12-5 and with a 9 month old, he wasn't always happy. I usually clean one room a day. I can never get all the rooms done at once. I would just not let it bother you or maybe get a cleaning lady.

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Re: If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

Posted by skinny

Posted by TripletMom

Wow I can't even imagine what it would be like being a SAHM with 1 child..

If you SAHM with 1 baby/kid

I work PT, mostly from home, and I do not get everything done and I always feel inadequate. My apartment NOT EVEN A HOUSE (though my apartment is very big 3 bedrooms and all big rooms) is usually a mess. Its not dirty just sloppy. We have run out of room to store stuff and it just seems like out of no where our stuff just exploded LOL
My dd is now 18 months and very active. Between classes and errands and wanting to do things with her I never have enough time to clean, cook, do laundry, clean up again after cooking. My DH helps but I admit not as much as Id like. He works long hours and I get hes shot by the time he gets home.

TripletMom and Skinny, Do you feel better about yourself now? Your comment says a lot about your character and its so sad to see women who dont know any better but to try to make another woman feel less than. Is this the example you set for your child? You must be so sad and bitter...

Being a parent in general is a hard job and we all know this because we are all parents. I do not care if you have 1 child or 10 children. I do not care if your a SAHM or a FTWM or a PTWM, its tough work. And we are ALL doing the best we can. PERIOD. How about we just support each other as women, as mothers, instead of trying to out do each other?

Message edited 1/9/2014 2:07:24 PM.