Playdate I am not so sure about

DD had problems with another girl in her preschool over the summer and in early fall. Let’s call the other girl Gia. The was an icident in the summer where I got a note from pre-school that my daughter was hit in the head by a kickboardin the pool. That evening DD explained that Gia ‘repeatedly’ hit her head with a kickboard. At that time I though at was an isolated incident and didn’t make a big deal out of that. I did ask that the teacher and the TAs keep an eye on them.
 
After that there was a series of other incidents: Gia throughing out DD’s breaksfast, me coming to pick DD up in he evening and seeing her crying on TA’s laps with an ice pack, because Gia stepped on her hand,  DD telling me one night that Gia punched her.
 
I have twins in the same pre-school, and have not heard a word of camplaint about Gia from DS. Did have a convesation with the school, was told that Gia wants DD to play with her only, and gets frastrated when DD wants to play with other kids. After another incident when Gia hit DD, when I asked what happened, someone at school told me that it was my daughter came up to Gia to play before she was hit. As far as I am concerned, it doesn’t matter who come to whom first, it is the outcome that DD was hit yet again that matters. DD is Gia are the same age, but Gia is significantly taller, heavier and stronger.
 
Gia’s parents have recently divorced, which must not be easy on her, There have been complaints about Gia from others. I requested that Gia and DD are separated when possible, and the preschool has been able to accommodate us. No incidents have happened since them (for about 2 months now).
 
In the past few days, Gia’s mom and myself come to pick kids up at the same time. Gia comes up to me in front of her mom and says she want to come to our house on a playdate on Saturday. That has happened more than once. It is done in front of TAs and other parents and makes me uncomfortable.
 
I provately asked one of the TAs if Gia’s mom knows about the situation with DD, and she didn’t think so.
 
How do I handle this? Apparently, the school choose to inform Gia’s mom, maybe they think it is not a big deal. I don’t feel comfortable hosting a playdate with Gia after everything that has happened. Do I say anything to Gia’s mom to explain why I am not too excited about the playdate? Do I just not schedule it and keep things to myself? WWYD?

Re: Playdate I am not so sure about

Did you say yes to the playdate?
I would just not schedule one. DD has a friend at school that every time they are playing together she gets written up. Her father has asked if we could get them together for a playdate and just say I have other plans and say maybe another time.

Re: Playdate I am not so sure about

I don't know if I'd feel comfortable being confrontational with the mother.

I'd probably just smile, let the kid go on but not respond one way or the other to her.

I kind of feel that it's the school's responsibility to handle the situation with the other child and her mother, especially since they are so young.

I also find it interesting that you are privy to what is going on in the other child's home life.

Did the school share that with you?

I mean, it obviously explains a lot but I'd be concerned what info they may be sharing about my child if the role were reversed, KWIM?

Re: Playdate I am not so sure about

Re: Playdate I am not so sure about

Just say you already have plans for the weekend, sorry. They will stop asking

Re: Playdate I am not so sure about

The only thing the post screams out to me is ...preschool. These are babies. Less then 5. If I were you, I'd focus more on the schools irresponsibility to ensure your child's safety and others knowing this is happening. Slammed in the head with a kick board? Throwing out your child's breakfast? And there is an asst too? Strange. You are giving this young child alot of power when it is the adults responsibility. Though I agree, I probably wouldn't have a play date, I wouldn't confront mom either. I don't think it's moms fault that things are unruly t the school. Talk to the school and let them handle it. Say your busy if asked for a play date.

Playdate I am not so sure about

I think I would say I was busy...but I would also tell the school that Gia's parents should be notified..my DD is a younger, but when an incident occurs between 2 kids, BOTH parents are notified..how could they be in the dark after this long?!

Re: Playdate I am not so sure about

Re: Playdate I am not so sure about

Re: Playdate I am not so sure about

I would not schedule one for now and see if you could get out of it that way....otherwise, I would have to have a conversation with Gia's mom as to what has been going on...

Playdate I am not so sure about

Ugh, how does the preschool not notify the mom of what her daughter is doing? Even though things are probably difficult at home for all of them, a few words from the mom to the child may have helped the child end the behavior.