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Issues with another child and his mother at school
I think I am ok with the outcome of this, but I wanted to just see if I was missing anything or if people had other solutions.
My DS is friends with another boy M. I have met M's mother Y 2 or 3 times and they came to DS' birthday party at the end of April.
At 10pm at last night I got about 10 text messages from Y saying that M was crying and really upset because DS smacked him in the face. And that it has happened before and yesterday the assistant teacher saw. I apologized, and she begged me not to tell DS so that he wouldn't be friends w M anymore. I told her I wouldn't, and that I would call the school as well.
I spoke to my DS this am, I didn't directly ask him if he had smacked M, but asked what they played (because I suspect they were playing and it got out of hand) and it didn't sound like there was anything bad or physical.
I spoke to the teacher, who had no idea anything had happened and who agreed that this was very unlike DS and said that if it was anything other than a game that got out of hand, she would let me know.
I mainly don't want DS to get in trouble, and I'd prefer to be the one who let the teacher know than be the one that found out about it.
How would you handle the mother? Text her? Call her? Not do anything?
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Posted 5/15/14 11:49 AM  |
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GraciesMom
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 1636 total posts
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
I would tell her exactly what you just told us. That you called the teacher, she didnt see it, thought it could have been a game that got out of hand if it did happen and will let you know if anything else happens. That you are sorry if her son's feeling were hurt and hopefully that will be the end of it. Good luck.
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| Posted 5/15/14 1:00 PM |
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
Thanks!
Interesting turn of events, another mother called me about a birthday party and said that Y offered to bring DS 
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| Posted 5/15/14 4:32 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
How old are the kids?
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| Posted 5/19/14 1:08 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
I would have mentioned it to the teacher & ask her to speak to the aid for the real story.
It sounds odd to me is that she didn't want you to mention it to your son.
If someone was hitting my kid (1) I'd want it addressed. (2) If it wasn't, I wouldn't want my kid to be friends with someone. What kind of message does that send to a kid? He hits me but I won't say anything to him because I want him to still be my friend?
I think there may be more to the story & if my son & no one else knew about him hitting him, I'd wonder if it was someone else.
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| Posted 5/19/14 10:23 AM |
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would have mentioned it to the teacher & ask her to speak to the aid for the real story.
It sounds odd to me is that she didn't want you to mention it to your son.
If someone was hitting my kid (1) I'd want it addressed. (2) If it wasn't, I wouldn't want my kid to be friends with someone. What kind of message does that send to a kid? He hits me but I won't say anything to him because I want him to still be my friend?
I think there may be more to the story & if my son & no one else knew about him hitting him, I'd wonder if it was someone else.
I did call the teacher. She was surprised and said she didn't think that either boy would hit anyone else.
She said she was going to investigate and then call me back if anything seemed off. That was Thursday and I haven't heard anything back. I did tell her I thought maybe they were playing and it got out of hand.
IMO, after talking to DS some more, I think they may have been playing a game where they were slapping hands. I told DS not to play that game anymore and to keep his hands to himself, even if other kids were playing.
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| Posted 5/19/14 11:11 AM |
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
Posted by PrincessP
How old are the kids?
First grade. My DS just turned 7.
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| Posted 5/19/14 11:12 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
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fka LIW Smara
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Issues with another child and his mother at school
I think the mother calling you was odd. If I was in that situation, I would have spoken to my son and eased his mind and tell him if it happens again to tell the teacher and/or myself when he got home.
Then if it happened again, I would reach out to the teacher to see if she knows that this is going on or to bring it to her attention. If it turned out to be an issue then she can contact the mom. regardless, if I met the mom 2 or 3 times. To me thats not enough times to be calling you up.
Now if the mom was a close friend then I would let her know but I dont understand why she called you?? Its just seems odd and the incident blown out of proportion.
Message edited 5/19/2014 8:11:56 PM.
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| Posted 5/19/14 8:11 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by PrincessP
How old are the kids?
First grade. My DS just turned 7.
My dd is also 7. I had a strange feeling you were in this age group. Best advice, let it go. You sound pretty level headed. Some parents aren't. I don't think her reporting it to you was bad. more then once ...maybe. Remember, like me, you have the next 10 yrs with the current parents. Keep it positive. Not worth over thinking. Keep calm and move on 
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| Posted 5/20/14 12:18 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would have mentioned it to the teacher & ask her to speak to the aid for the real story.
It sounds odd to me is that she didn't want you to mention it to your son.
If someone was hitting my kid (1) I'd want it addressed. (2) If it wasn't, I wouldn't want my kid to be friends with someone. What kind of message does that send to a kid? He hits me but I won't say anything to him because I want him to still be my friend?
I think there may be more to the story & if my son & no one else knew about him hitting him, I'd wonder if it was someone else.
I did call the teacher. She was surprised and said she didn't think that either boy would hit anyone else.
She said she was going to investigate and then call me back if anything seemed off. That was Thursday and I haven't heard anything back. I did tell her I thought maybe they were playing and it got out of hand.
IMO, after talking to DS some more, I think they may have been playing a game where they were slapping hands. I told DS not to play that game anymore and to keep his hands to himself, even if other kids were playing.
I agree with your thinking. It's always a game that turns into something else. I tell my dd, hands to self so there is no miscommunication.
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| Posted 5/20/14 12:21 AM |
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
I think it's weird that she said the assistant teacher saw this yet the main teacher had no idea it happened. Either it didn't happen or the assistant teacher realized it was an accident and didn't think of reporting it to anyone because it wasn't as big of a deal as the kid might have felt it was. Obviously the mother just wanted you to know and still wants her son and your son to be close. So I'd probably just apologize for him and try to let it go.
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| Posted 5/20/14 8:08 AM |
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Re: Issues with another child and his mother at school
Posted by Sash
I think the mother calling you was odd. If I was in that situation, I would have spoken to my son and eased his mind and tell him if it happens again to tell the teacher and/or myself when he got home.
Then if it happened again, I would reach out to the teacher to see if she knows that this is going on or to bring it to her attention. If it turned out to be an issue then she can contact the mom. regardless, if I met the mom 2 or 3 times. To me thats not enough times to be calling you up.
Now if the mom was a close friend then I would let her know but I dont understand why she called you?? Its just seems odd and the incident blown out of proportion.
She didn't even call, she texted, at 10pm. And they were so melodramatic. lol.
I apologized, then, and then followed up the next day saying I had spoken to the teacher and hoped it had been nipped in the bud.
My SIL was like "I think she had a few drinks"
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| Posted 5/20/14 10:05 AM |
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