When your young child doesn't want to go to school

My DS is normally always happy, friendly, fits in easily. He went to a 3 year old nursery prog last year for 3 days a week.
This year he is going to upk at a different school. He was fine all of last week. Yesterday at drop off, the kid behind him in line began to cry to his dad saying he wants to go home & doesn't want to go to school. My ds overheard & began saying the same things. I had to push him into the classroom, he shed a few tears, the teacher gave him a pat on the shoulder & a tissue & he was fine.
Today was another story. He began saying that he wanted to stay home while he was eating breakfast and the entire time in the car. We line up outside of his class & he began tugging at my arm dragging me to the exit. I had to carry him into class. He was hysterically crying & pulling on me to take him home. Nothing I said to him was being heard. It freaked me out, I feel like he had a mini panic attack. Finally, I hugged him & left him there like that.
Will this get better? I do know that many of the kids cried last week, while the kids rarely cried in his nursery class last year. He always loved school but this year maybe the other kids crying on a regular basis is affecting him.
Any advice for me on how to handle this?

Re: When your young child doesn't want to go to school

If you think it's just a transition thing (he gets upset at drop off and then is fine while he is there), I'd give it a few more days to see if the crying and anxiety at drop off subsides.

Can you ask the teacher(s) if he calms down right away or continues to be upset during the day? I know that my DS's old preschool had cameras set up in the classrooms so a parent could observe what was happening from the main office, which helped anxious parents (or parents whose kids were really upset at drop off). In some cases, they saw the kids settled down to play or get involved in something, and it gave peace of mind. Is there a way for you to observe a little, without your son knowing or seeing?

If the crying continues, and him saying he doesn't want to go, I guess I'd try to figure out if the issue is that he doesn't want to go to the school (and why) OR if it's that he doesn't want to leave you. If it's the latter, could maybe your husband or a grandparent drop him off one day to see if he goes in more readily? Or if you think it's the other kids who are crying on line or influencing him, maybe drop him off right on time or a few minutes late, even, so he can just go right in to the classroom (if that's an option)? That way, you cut down on the transition time.

If the above strategies don't work, then I'd give it more time to see if he settles in. It could just be an adjustment to a new school. But if it continues into next week, I'd talk to both your son and the school to try to figure out if something happened or something is bothering him there that is making him not want to go. Has he been happy when you pick him up? When you talk to him about the day, does he say he had fun, talk about activities they did, etc.?

Re: When your young child doesn't want to go to school

DS told me that he doesn't like it because some kids cry and don't listen during the day & he gets frustrated from it. I spoke to the teacher last night & she did tell me that there are some kids that just do not listen (some she says don't speak english) to instructions & they cry & scream when placed in on the "quiet" rug. I'm assuming they can't say time out.

Anyway, it does sound like a bit of chaos & she may not have the best control over the class. He was better today even though he did tell me he doesn't want to go to school, there was no leg pulling & begging to go home.

I'll give it one more week and then consider asking for a new classroom.

Re: When your young child doesn't want to go to school

This was my life last year when DS was in Pre k. It was so bad that I would begin to sweat and then sit in my car after drop off crying.

This year he is like a changed boy....Mr. independent and barely says goodbye when I drop him off in the am.

The teachers always said he calmed down a couple minutes after I left when he was going through what I saw as rages last year.