holding back kindergarten for another year

My DS will be 4 on 10/14 making him eligible for kindergarten starting next September (2015) I have some issues with this and am seriously considering waiting a year.

First, DS was a preemie (33 weeks) with an original due date of 12/2. If he was born on or after his due date he would have automatically started in 2016. He has no problems or special needs from being born early though.

Second, his maturity levels are seriously lacking. He's been in "school" since he was almost 2 ( first 2 days a week then 3 last year) when I see him around his peers I feel like he is still a "baby" in comparison to the way they act.

Third, his retention levels for academics. Part of this is me, I know, I need to go over things with him more/better.He's getting better but with all the new common core curriculum it scares me.


If you held off kindergarten for an extra year did the district give you a hard time? How do you go about it? Do you just not register them?

What were some reasons you had for waiting? I know that my MIL doesn't think it's right, and DH hasn't really talked about it one way or another.

Do districts let you do kindergarten twice if you enroll and then don't think promoting to 1st is a good idea??

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

I think in our district, they needed to turn 5 by 12/1.

DS bday is 12/30.

He just started K and I feel like he is older than a lot of other kids, but I am so happy he had the extra year.

Pre K was rough last year with just the drop off every morning....I feel like this year he Is finally mature enough to handle it.

I would try to enroll him in Pre K instead.

Plus, I feel like he is now advanced in academics.

They are still working on basic colors, letters and numbers right now, which is old hat to DS.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

anyone I know who was close to the line and decided to hold off the rear has absolutely no regrets and thinks it was the best decision. On the other hand anyone on the line that chose to start earlier did have some regrets. If it were me I would wait the extra year

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

I've witnessed both the good and bad of holding a child back from entering "K". It really depends on the child. If it's strictly a maturity issue, holding a child back for a year can be a really good thing because a little time can fix that. If there is any underlying issue (ADHD, Autism, developmental delays, academic delays/learning disability....) time out of the school setting can be harmful. At the school age level teachers/students have regular access to Occupational Therapists, Physical Therapists, Speech Therapists, Social Workers, Psychologists, Special Ed teachers and Reading Specialists... There is a wide network of support. They must follow Response To Intervention and participate in Instructional Support Teams. I've worked with many students that were held back and wasted a year repeating PreK when they could've been receiving skilled intervention a whole year earlier. The thing is most of the parents knew that "something" wasn't right and attributed it to a maturity issue thereby thinking the child wasn't ready for "K" (and of course the PreK teacher agrees) but I fact there was an underlying delay/learning disability. Delaying the start of "K" delayed the diagnosis of the true problem that was getting in the way of the child succeeding in school. I screened 150 PreK students last spring at "K" Screenings and many of them could not recognize many letters of the alphabet, could not write there name and could not cut with scissors. Hardly any of them can tell me their birthday. It's amazing the wide range of skills and abilities children have when they enter "K" .

holding back kindergarten for another year

My son's birthday is Sept. 28th. He entered K last year at 4 yrs old. He didn't know all of his letters, wasn't reading at all, couldn't write much but his name (very messily)...fast forward to now. He can read most basic early reading books, knows how to write upper and lowercase, can add/subtract basic math, etc. They make huge strides in kindergarten, academically and socially. He also received speech services all last year for age-appropriate articulation issues, which is something he would not have gotten had he not been in kindergarten.

I'm never a fan of red shirting, so I would say to discuss it with someone from the district and see what they recommend.

holding back kindergarten for another year

If you lived where I lived in Nj he wouldn't be eligible anyways. The cutoff is 10/1. I wouldn't worry about it.

holding back kindergarten for another year

My boys will be 3 on Oct 28 so we will also be in the same boat eventually. I was told by multiple people to hold back "RED SHIRT" as they call it. It better to be the oldest in class as opposed to youngest.
I met a lady in park yesterday whos 4yr old is in K. She said they give more work then the other child in 1st grade. For K homework they gave to write letters & numbers every night & some other stuff.

One suggestion I recd was to call the K in your dist & ask for copies of the work. I dont believe you can do K 2x because they have that "No child left behind act" Just do Pre K 2x & ask teacher what the opinon of son is

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

A student can repeat any grade. "No Child Left Behind" doesn't literally mean no child can repeat a grade level. It eludes to the fact that all children will be appropriately educated/have access to a rigorous education, have the highest qualified teachers etc.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

I have twin daughters who are in 1st grade. They have Nov. 14th birthdays and we did not "red shirt" them. I think it is a personal choice and only you can decide what is right for your child. My daughters went to preschool before kindergarten full day at Parkshore, so they were already in a school like setting. I think they are doing well in school. I just have to keep in mind that some of the kids in her class are almost a full year ahead of them. They are on grade to above level in math. In reading they are reading on a D level. Which years ago would have been fine, but not anymore with Common Core. So, this year they will both be getting intervention reading services. I always go back and forth on whether I should have red shirted them. If they weren't premmies they would have been born the end of Dec. But they are doing fine.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

My second son's Bday is Oct and I sent him to K at 4 years old. He is now in 1st and is doing fine. I have a third son who will start K next year at 4, his Bday is Nov. As of right now I plan on sending him. In my head, I wanted to give my boys the chance, rather than decide that they couldn't do it and needed the extra year off without trying. There was no reason for me to keep my son back, he was doing well, so I sent him. I know more and more people "red shirt" but I am not a fan of it personally unless there are legitimate reasons. I think I am in the minority though, as it seems it has become more popular.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

I teach 1st grade. I absolutely see the difference with younger kids. Not all, but most. If your gut is telling you to hole him back, do it!! You won't regret it but if you send him, you'll always wonder if you should have. My dd is 11/12, I sent her on time and I regret it. She would have been at such an advantage if I held her back.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

There is honestly no way you can know now when K is a year away whether or not your child will be academically ready for K. This is a year where there is such a HUGE growth in children all around and the difference between an almost 4 year old and almost 5 yr old is astounding. So, with that said, if you make the decision now to redshirt him - you are doing it for your own reasons - not based on your child IMO.

With that said, I don't agree with the rest of the posters that there is no down side to redshirting. Your child will be on average a year older than the majority of his class and more than a year older than some. I've seen so many kids that are red shirted and they are dumbed down so much from where they could be both academically and socially. My DS is a month earlier birthday than your child and was not red-shirted and is thriving academically (the smartest in his class), socially, and in sports. I would MUCH rather have my child be the BEST they can be and imitate and work towards the top of their age range then hold them back academically, socially and emotionally. Because that is exactly what happened with all my son's friends that were held back and are a month or two younger than him and are now a whole grade level behind him. The difference between them was nothing before and now they seem a year apart even though the difference is just a few months. Rather than GROW emotionally, socially, academically and socially to their fullest potential - they have been dumbed down in all areas to the level of their peers who are in some cases an entire year younger than them.

Honestly, I find red-shirting disgusting in almost all cases. There are only very rare situations where it is truly warranted. In my district it is done because the parents want the ultimate competitive advantage for their kid rather than in the child's best interest. I really think the school districts need to put a stop to this by screening kids that fall outside of the cut-off on both ends and only grant red-shirting where it is truly warranted. I feel sorry for many of the kids that I see that are redshirted - sure the advantage is sometimes there for a year or two - usually in K-2nd of course you can see a maturity difference but, in the long run I think it is detrimental for the child and achieves no real advantage. If you talk to teachers in the older grades UNLESS there is an issue - the kids all even out.

Also - PLEASE do not subject your child to doing K twice in the same school! - that is cruel in my opinion. How do you think he will feel to see all of his friends go on to 1st grade when he has to stay in K? What do you think that will do to his self-esteem and confidence?

Message edited 9/25/2014 7:27:56 PM.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

I think it is a very individual case by case decision, but I agree with itsbabytime. Many worry about the first year or two, but not about older grades. There were some NYtimes articles in the past on red shirting.

From a very personal standpoint....I was not held back, but my family moved to another state the summer before I turned 5. This state had a Sept 1st cutoff. My birthday was one week later. I was ready but they would not make exceptions. Fast forward 5 years. We moved back to NY. I started 4 th grade. Not only was I bored because I had done the work before, but academically I was bored because I needed more of a challenge. Kids were NOT nice because here I was much older (with a Sept birthday). Being the oldest was not fun. So I was moved to private where I finished 4th and skipped fifth grade. I fit in much better, was more challenged because it was age appropriate work.

There are some cases where it might be appropriate but it is a considerably smaller group than the % held back these days. They might be on the younger aspect for a year or two but in most cases they level out. I think people get stuck in the present and don't think how their child will feel 2, 5, or more years later. And btw I can think of at least three people who regreted their decision. One of whom actually enrolled her child 1.5-2 weeks after kindergarten started when she realized her mistake. Others have said their child was sad because all their friends moved on, and now saw their "old" friend as a baby because they were still in prek. On the flip side I know one who said it was the right decision. In her case her child was considerably smaller, as well as, considerably immature.

holding back kindergarten for another year

Thank you everyone for your opinions!! I truly appreciate them all.

DH and I have a lot to think about and watch over the next 8-10 months
.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

I thought research showed that the academic advantages of "red shirting" end by 2nd grade?

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

My son is born in September and I did not hold back. I personally find it a huge problem and wish that if people didn't put their kids in K, that they would have to go to 1 with their age level. There was a kid in my sons class turning 7 while he was still 5 (he didn't turn 6 until 1st grade this year).

On another note, my mother was born December 25. I was born December 19. My grandmother kept her in with the right group and she hated being the oldest. My mother pushed me ahead when I was 4 to K. The ONLY thing that bothered me was that they all got their drivers licenses before me!

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

My ds has a nov 23rd bday and he just started k this year. He is doing amazing! I think I would be doing him a disservice if I did not give him the opportunity to challenge himself. He is doing everything the other kids do and is so eager to learn to read, tie his shoes etc. I also feel it has helped socially! He doesn't love being the youngest but eventually he will not care

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

My oldest turned 5 on 9/6 & we decided to do another year of prek with him this year rather then K. His maturity level was just not there not were his academic skills. He had a big issue separating from me last year & his prek teacher actually said to us that he enjoys school so much now that if I threw hkm into K & he could not get on the academic wagon, he would start to hate school.

His prek teacher this year just said to me that we did the right thing bc uou can now see he's on the level of where he should be for next year. I don't regret my decision one bit

I had actually registered him last year in our district in case we decided to send him. When it was time for the entrance testing, we called the district & said we are withholding for a year

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

DS's birthday is mid December. Our district's cut off is 1/1. We decided to send him. He was definitely academically ready. He was reading books a few months after turning 4, was counting past 100 by 3.5, etc. He's small for his age. I struggled with the decision because most people in my area hold their fall kids back, especially boys. His daycare teachers assured us he was ready.

We sent him to K at 4. He did great. He was in the advanced math group and ended the year at the highest reading level for K. He made a lot of friends and loved school. While there are kids who are much bigger and at least a year older than him in his grade, we haven't noticed any issues with that yet.

First grade seems to be going well so far too. It's really an individual decision. Personally I wouldn't hold a child back to give them an advantage. I think if I held DS back, he would've been so bored and I don't know if he really would've enjoyed school. Make the decision based on the child's readiness.

holding back kindergarten for another year

This decision would definitely not be for any advantage per say. I just feellike he ddoesn't know and isn't yet retaining what he should know at this point. I feel like he is immature for his age as well.

Kissy331- everything you said about your son is how I feel about mine.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

Message edited 9/28/2014 11:55:27 AM.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

would you be open to paying for a private kindergarten next year?

My thoughts would be first that its generally a small teacher to student ratio meaning more one on one attention. When my son went to K at a catholic school, there was 1 teacher and and one PT aide (she was there all 9-1 kids 8-2) and there were 16 kids in his class.

Also it will give you some idea if he is ready. Best case he does great and you put him in public school in first grade with the confidence that he is ready!
Worst case you put him in public school in Kindergarten and no one will know the difference. Meaning he wont watch his friends go up a grade without him.

We did this with our son and had that thought it mind. we discovered he excelled and was totally ready. another parent had their child repeat Kindergarten in a public school.

One of my hesitations with red-shirtting especially here on long island where its not so common, is that as he matures and is a full year older than all his friends he may feel that difference. This is taking all academics out of the mix. My friend did redshirt her child and she regrets is socially because she feels her child has a harder time connecting with the kids. Her child is in 2nd grade.

GL!

ETA: My son started K at 4yo, he turned 5 in late december. He was totally behind in certain areas such as motor skills, writing, letter formation etc. Now he is in 2nd grade and you would never know. he is in the highest reading level in his class, and his handwriting is average maybe alittle below average but its not hindering him and its improving regularly.

Message edited 9/29/2014 1:54:48 PM.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

I also dont agree with redshirtting. In general boys are more immature and less focused so I think they will always seem to immature for kindergarten.

I'm in NJ and the cutoff is September 30th, meaning my son missed it by 18 days. I am so against it, that I decided to put him in Catholic school. He came in Kindergerten with no formal pre-k, not able to read, couldn't recognize all his letters and only knew how to write a few. He was a little immature and it did take him a few weeks to focus and learn how to sit in his seat all day. But I feel like that would've been an issue regardless and the only thing I would have done is delay him a year by redshirting.

At the end of kindergarten he was reading really well and knew how to add and subtract. He scored 90 on his reading and 99 percentile on math on the Terra Nova exams. I'm glad I didn't listen to others and went with my gut because he probably wouldn't be challenged right now in kindergarten and wouldve been bored out of his mind.

As far as being smaller, my son is small for his age in general and obviously looks even tinier since a lot of his peers were turning 6 at the beginning of kindergerten. But my birthday is in May and im a shrimp, and was always the smallest one in my class. That never was an issue for me so I really wouldn't take "being the smallest" into consideration when making a decision. Plus boys have growth spurts, my SS was the smaller kid till he hit 12 and then he just shot up over night.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

My son's birthday is 11/25 and our cut-off is December 1. I feel like I have to explain to people every day why I didn't redshirt him. I don't see the academic benefits of it. He was academically ready and all his friends from Pre-K were going to Kindergarten, how would he feel if he wasn't?

He's the smallest kid, but to be honest, he's a small kid anyway, even if he was with the younger kids, he would still be on the smaller side of the group.

Also to a point made earlier, he wouldn't receive the speech services that he needs if we held in back unless we paid privately. I already pay for private OT and PT because he doesn't qualify for CSE despite receiving it through CPSE, so it would have cost more money if I needed to do speech too.

I would also ask his pre-k teachers for their opinions.

And of course, you can always repeat kindergarten if you and the teachers/school agree that he needs it.

Message edited 9/29/2014 4:10:52 PM.

Re: holding back kindergarten for another year

Message edited 9/29/2014 4:21:25 PM.