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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Promposals
Posted by drpepper318
DH sees this at his school a lot. The boys do really over the top stuff to "prompose" to their girlfriends. I'd never heard of this before he told me about it. I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand it could be really sweet but I also think it's kids trying to be grown up too soon... it seems like everything always has to be bigger, grander, more impressive. Just be a kid! So I don't know.
But they are 18 year olds who are technically adults. They are in their way to living in their own and being grown ups. They really aren't kids anymore. They are mostly all driving too.
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Posted 3/17/16 10:46 PM  |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Promposals
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MrsG823
Seriously? Our society is just getting out of control- this opens up so many new opportunities to make high school, a historically difficult part of growing up, just a bit more challenging.
That was what i was going to say as well. Like the stress of finding a prom date, the perfect dress, the after prom plans, etc isn't enough.
Now you have to out do each other.
Like the stress to fit in in HS isn't bad enough, now you need to not only FIND a prom date but orchestrate a freakin flash mob that you broadcast on a billboard in Times Square in order to get them to say yes.
This just opens up so many more opportunites for people to feel bad about themselves. The guy who didn't do enough to impress the girl. The girl who didn't even get asked to prom, much less an over the top spectacle when she was asked.
I'm sorry but I really worry for the future of our children. By the time my daughter is in HS I shudder to think how bad it will be.
Yes. Completely agree.
And on a somewhat related topic... When did prom dresses become so slinky/sexy. I'm talking slit up the leg and completely bare backed. By the time my kids are going to their prom, there won't be any dress left!
Many years ago but, yes, some are ridiculous.
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| Posted 3/17/16 10:47 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by BaseballWidow
Ridiculous! These kids are in such a hurry to grow up (a proposal for a prom; wait for your wedding) yet don't have an ounce of common sense or any idea what responsibility is. Worse yet are the parents feeding into it and condoning it. They all need lives if you ask me. 
ITA.
I didn't even go to my prom. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, even back then.
I've also heard that the sweet 16s girls are having nowadays are out of control, like weddings with basically mini "bridal type parties" they call their "court". It's just bizarre.
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| Posted 3/17/16 11:43 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Cheesy!!
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| Posted 3/18/16 4:24 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Promposals
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MrsG823
Seriously? Our society is just getting out of control- this opens up so many new opportunities to make high school, a historically difficult part of growing up, just a bit more challenging.
That was what i was going to say as well. Like the stress of finding a prom date, the perfect dress, the after prom plans, etc isn't enough.
Now you have to out do each other.
Like the stress to fit in in HS isn't bad enough, now you need to not only FIND a prom date but orchestrate a freakin flash mob that you broadcast on a billboard in Times Square in order to get them to say yes.
This just opens up so many more opportunites for people to feel bad about themselves. The guy who didn't do enough to impress the girl. The girl who didn't even get asked to prom, much less an over the top spectacle when she was asked.
I'm sorry but I really worry for the future of our children. By the time my daughter is in HS I shudder to think how bad it will be.
ITA 100%
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| Posted 3/18/16 7:15 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Promposals
Posted by Chai77
Posted by BaseballWidow
Ridiculous! These kids are in such a hurry to grow up (a proposal for a prom; wait for your wedding) yet don't have an ounce of common sense or any idea what responsibility is. Worse yet are the parents feeding into it and condoning it. They all need lives if you ask me.
ITA.
I didn't even go to my prom. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, even back then.
I've also heard that the sweet 16s girls are having nowadays are out of control, like weddings with basically mini "bridal type parties" they call their "court". It's just bizarre.
Sweet 16 is very old tradition, Spanish cultures have been doing it for years.
But I think the prom thing is ridiculous. Is this in only wealthy schools? My stepson isn't doing this, thank god! I would definitely have at this & wouldn't give him money to buy into this nonsense.
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| Posted 3/18/16 7:58 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Promposals
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
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| Posted 3/18/16 8:04 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by Sash
Posted by Chai77
Posted by BaseballWidow
Ridiculous! These kids are in such a hurry to grow up (a proposal for a prom; wait for your wedding) yet don't have an ounce of common sense or any idea what responsibility is. Worse yet are the parents feeding into it and condoning it. They all need lives if you ask me.
ITA.
I didn't even go to my prom. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, even back then.
I've also heard that the sweet 16s girls are having nowadays are out of control, like weddings with basically mini "bridal type parties" they call their "court". It's just bizarre.
Sweet 16 is very old tradition, Spanish cultures have been doing it for years.
But I think the prom thing is ridiculous. Is this in only wealthy schools? My stepson isn't doing this, thank god! I would definitely have at this & wouldn't give him money to buy into this nonsense.
I was going to say the same- Asian cultures, too. I'm 30 and growing up a friend had a HUGE sweet 16 in a wedding hall with a court, choreographed dances, first dance with father/daughter, cake cutting ceremony, etc. I always wondered how she'd top it at her wedding, but she did. 
All the other ones I went to were pretty low key. As for promposals back then, we didn't do them. I did go to an all girl's school from Freshman-Junior year, but even in my co-ed senior year, nobody did this. Also, a lot of people dated outside of the school, even at my co-ed highschool so it just wasn't feasible.
I think it's kinda cute to ask in a special way, but some of these are just so over the top and like pp mentioned, expensive! How are you going to out-do this when it's time to propose marriage- something real and permanent?!
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| Posted 3/18/16 8:16 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
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| Posted 3/18/16 8:37 AM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Promposals
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I agree, and also in some areas this isn't new. Prom wasn't a big deal in my community but I had friends in other towns/communities whose boyfriends or guy friends asked them in cute ways (spelling it out in flowers in the parking lot or some such thing). And I graduated high school....many years ago ;) I understand some of the concerns, I guess, but IMO this is a nice, sweet thing.
In a time when people can be so bitter and cruel, and we're watching violent rallies and riots on TV and in our streets....I think this is a bit of a silly thing to complain about. But that's just my opinion.
Message edited 3/18/2016 8:50:07 AM.
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| Posted 3/18/16 8:49 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Promposals
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
Ita
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| Posted 3/18/16 8:57 AM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: Promposals
These promposals are ridiculous. I just watched some promposal fails on youtube. Yikes!  
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:05 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Promposals
I think it's ridiculous. What if the person being asked says No? What if they WANT to say no, but now feel like they can't b/c it's a big public display?
WHY make something already nerve wracking for a kid 100x more dramatic?
WHO is the jackass that comes up w/ this shit?
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:09 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by Kitten1929
That sounds ridiculous.
I agree
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:10 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Promposals
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I totally agree it's great to teach our kids to go out of their way for others. To WANT to make a big deal out of something to make their friend/girlfriend/boyfriend feel special etc.
But, I think those gestures come from YOU. Not from the pressure of the whole HS "Prom-posing" KWIM?
And that's another reason why I think this is SO ridiculous.
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:12 AM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
There is something creepy about teenagers mimicking marriage proposals. Just like promise rings--the whole culture of prematurity.
I get skeeved by all that. Also by teen couples where he "takes care" of her, developing a dynamic that's more father/daughter than boyfriend/girlfriend.
I miss the days when things were more pretty and innocent and less creepy.
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:20 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I totally agree it's great to teach our kids to go out of their way for others. To WANT to make a big deal out of something to make their friend/girlfriend/boyfriend feel special etc.
But, I think those gestures come from YOU. Not from the pressure of the whole HS "Prom-posing" KWIM?
And that's another reason why I think this is SO ridiculous.
I understand what you mean. Totally.
But the reality with HS is that there will ALWAYS be some trendy thing that everyone will want to be doing. It's just how it goes at that age. Like any trendy thing, I'm sure this will fall to the wayside too at some point and "promposals" will become "lame".
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:22 AM |
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trebambini
LIF Infant
Member since 6/11 103 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Promposals
I was so glad that my son refused to conform to the pressure of a promposal. His comment was that he was not asking the girl to marry him, that they were good friends who were going to the event together as friends. Sure enough the girl he asked was happy to be asked and was not expecting a grand gesture. They're going to have a great time.
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:33 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I totally agree it's great to teach our kids to go out of their way for others. To WANT to make a big deal out of something to make their friend/girlfriend/boyfriend feel special etc.
But, I think those gestures come from YOU. Not from the pressure of the whole HS "Prom-posing" KWIM?
And that's another reason why I think this is SO ridiculous.
Asking someone to prom in a nice, thoughtful way is one thing. But, some of these prom-posals are so over the top and puts a lot of pressure on kids -(sorry - but I totally disagree with the an above poster who said that they are adults - at 17 or 18 yr old, they are still kids, still vulnerable to peer pressure and not capable of making decisions that a true adult would make) - as has been mentioned, the boys feel pressured to make their GF or date feel special and the girls can feel pressured into saying yes if there is a big public display, or feeling like maybe the way she was asked wasn't "special enough". Absolutely nothing wrong with a thoughtful way to ask someone, but between over the top sweet 16's and now "prom-posals", what will these kids expect when it comes to marriage proposals and weddings?
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:33 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Dumb, cheesy and ridiculous... And any other word that are similarly to these ... What happened to just asking someone. Just another way to compete and outshine people and make other prowl feel like crap because it didn't happen the way everyone else did.
FTR I am all for kids learning disappointment, how to lose etc this though is just a waste of everyone's time.
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| Posted 3/18/16 9:52 AM |
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MamaBear2
LIF Infant
Member since 1/16 233 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
I never knew there was a word for it but, yes. My neighbor is a volunteer fireman and drove up on a fire truck with lights and sirens and a big sign on the side that read "PROM?"
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| Posted 3/18/16 11:22 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Promposals
Posted by MamaBear2
I never knew there was a word for it but, yes. My neighbor is a volunteer fireman and drove up on a fire truck with lights and sirens and a big sign on the side that read "PROM?"
I would have responded by driving up in a police car with a big sign that said... NOPE!
I have such little tolerance for cheesy. Those flash mob proposals make me CRINGE! I couldn't marry someone with that level of cheese in their veins. We wouldn't be a good fit in life.
Message edited 3/18/2016 11:51:09 AM.
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| Posted 3/18/16 11:45 AM |
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JennCo
My greatest joy is my baby boy
Member since 1/07 2772 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
as if the pressures of HS aren't enough.....they are now proposing to one another with "the bachelor" type proposals?
I wonder, is this a LI thing? You know, like how over the top weddings are usually only here?
Or is this like a social media thing that is just "normal" these days?
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| Posted 3/18/16 11:48 AM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Promposals
Posted by NervousNell
So ridiculous and just another reason I hate what our society has become due to social media.
You know this is all so they can film it and put it on youtube, facebook or whatever other shit kids are using these days and get attention.
Lame
ITA! Why does everything have to be over the top, filmed to be posted to social media. It's just ridiculous!
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| Posted 3/18/16 11:50 AM |
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Re: Promposals
Posted by mnmsoinlove
Posted by NervousNell
So ridiculous and just another reason I hate what our society has become due to social media.
You know this is all so they can film it and put it on youtube, facebook or whatever other shit kids are using these days and get attention.
Lame
ITA! Why does everything have to be over the top, filmed to be posted to social media. It's just ridiculous!
Yep.
Last year on my local parents FB page a lot of parents were pissed because there was no ceremony for the fifth graders going to middle school (and in my town they actually are already in the same building). One mom said she was seeing her friends in other towns posting fifth grade graduation photos so she wanted hers too. 
I know things might change but my daughter does not like to be the center of attention and she would be mortified if a boy did something over the top. Hopefully this will be out of vogue by then.
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| Posted 3/18/16 12:02 PM |
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