Affording Baby #2

All,

I posted a few weeks ago. I've got crazy baby fever for #2 even though my DD is only 11 months old.

The problem is no matter how I crunch the #'s there is no way we can possibly afford two daycare tuitions.

Is this a common problem? Is there a workaround I'm not considering? I can't imagine having to wait until she is in all day kindy to even consider #2, but right now that is how it's looking and it's breaking my heart.

Does anyone have any advice or input?

Thanks!

PS...right now DD is in daycare 3 days a week. I work from home 1 day and my husband switches his schedule to be home with her 1 day.

Re: Affording Baby #2

we waited for that reason. DS is 5 in April and im due in November... its essentially impossible for us to have had two in daycare

Affording Baby #2

We are having this issue. We are waiting till dd is in nursery school to cut the cost.

Re: Affording Baby #2

We're fortunate enough to be able to have family watch both girls for us. DD1 is in daycare 3 days a week to help offset the burden for my mother and MIL, and when she goes to pre-k then I'll put DD2 in daycare. If we had to do full time daycare for two kids we wouldn't have been able to have a second (or I'd have to be a SAHM).

Affording Baby #2

We're waiting for similar reasons as well. I've mentioned before, DH and I have careers that have never been in sync with one another, so right now he's unemployed (doing freelance projects) and I'm working on my second masters. DS will be 5 in July. Hopefully things will be better at the end of the year and we will start trying for #2 then.

Affording Baby #2

Thanks ladies. If anything it's reassuring to hear that we're not the only ones. Still a bummer

Re: Affording Baby #2

Right now we pay for before-care for DS and DD is in daycare full time. We definitely could not do it if both of them were in daycare full time.

Affording Baby #2

Same boat. I originally wanted them about 2 years apart but financially it doesn't make sense for us. But I also can't imagine having another baby right now and working full time, taking care of the house, etc.

Affording Baby #2

Im in the same situation. I want another DC but right now we have my DD in daycare 4 days a week. There is no way we can afford another in daycare no matter how I try to make the numbers work. My DD is only 9 months old right now but I really would have liked them to be 2 years apart. I don't have any advice but just know your not alone!

Re: Affording Baby #2

We really wanted 2 , close in age and started TTC when DC 1 was 11 months old. Family could not watch 2 babies and the point of having them very close is so they could be together all day. Daycare was not going to work for us for that reason, plus financially it didn't make sense. I wound up staying home but we could not believe the costs of daycare for 2. No discount for 2

I do think many SAHM's choose to do so because the cost of care is so insane.

Affording Baby #2

#2 was a surprise so we definitely didn't have anything planned and daycare is a struggle. We barely get by but I don't regret a single thing.

Re: Affording Baby #2

Do you have family nearby that would be willing to watch your kids? But with that said, perhaps a second job would help you.

Re: Affording Baby #2

I'm sorry! This is a tough situation. Are you set on daycare? I have 3 kids but they go to a sitter. Daycare wanted $950/week for my 4 day week. The sitter is a few hundred less. Still $$, but less than daycare. Good luck! As a last resort could you reduce any 401k contributions And use it for childcare? It would only be for a few years and if you were a SAHM your contribution would be zero anyway!

Affording Baby #2

I would take a look where you can cut expenses, or if you have debt such as cars or credit cards send extra money to pay down quickly to free up some cash. I would wait it out until you are in a better place or see if family can help

Affording Baby #2

I think this is probably a common problem.

One thing to think about is that the cost of daycare usually goes down as they get older and you can probably get a sibling discount.

I know IF we do try for DC #2, it'll be when DS is 3 so we will only have 2 in FT daycare for 1 year, but we will still need before and after care.

Re: Affording Baby #2

Right now DS is in school full time, so we'll only need to figure out the daycare costs for Baby #2. But our original plan was to have baby #3 very soon after #2. The only thing stopping us is the daycare costs. There's no way we can afford 2 in daycare full time. We also cant afford for me to be a SAHM. My salary is necessary to pay our bills. So, unless one of our parents retires within the next year or two and offers to stay home with the kids, I don't see how we could possibly have them close together. It's really insane the cost of childcare.

Re: Affording Baby #2

we barely get by and really we don't. we have debt that we pay off when we can but it is what it is. I wasn't waiting till DD was K. I just look at it as there is an end to the high day care costs.

Re: Affording Baby #2

The work around, to be honest, is waiting.
More time to save money up, less time with 2 in daycare, the prices in daycare also drop the older they get.

Re: Affording Baby #2

We got a nanny...it's cheaper than 2 kids in daycare.

Affording Baby #2

Most daycares give a small percentage off for the sibling. It gets cheaper as they get older plus the discount, it worked out for us.

My kids are 2 years apart. When I found out I was pregnant, I spoke with the owner and we worked out a higher percentage off. (20% instead of 10%) But I explained that if I couldn't work it out both kids wouldn't be going. Also the dependent child care spending account is very helpful.

Also in-home daycares are more reasonable and most times more flexible. There are downsides to using them rather than a traditional daycare.

Affording Baby #2

I understand your heart is doing the thinking on this one. But I think you need to also use your head for this decision. Its not just a decision to be made with just your heart. Its a decision that 2 people must make together.

As I recall from a previous post, your DH does not want another 1 right now. So its not just about $, you need to consider his feelings when making the decision. You dont want him resenting you and putting a rift in your marriage He didnt say he didnt want 1 he just said not now...
And Im not judging, Im just recalling your previous post about the same thing.

Its hard to accept when we want something and cant have it the moment we want it. But all I can say is enjoy your 11 month old. Shes only 11 months. All her firsts are still happening and maybe your missing it cause your stuck on being upset because you cant have a 2nd child this second.

You have so much to experience with your 1st daughter still and maybe just concentrate on that for now. Shes not even 1. I feel like every year got better and better with my dd. Shes my little BFF now and shes 3.5 Its awesome!
You can spoil her right now and give her all your attention. Life is all about perspective and your getting stuck on what you dont have. Focus on all the wonderful things you do. Your beautiful healthy daughter is more than most women get, maybe just try that spin on it for now.

When the time is right, things will fall into place. You cant force them into place.

Re: Affording Baby #2

We always want d 2, and because I'm older, we couldn't really wait more than 3 years. So they are 3 years apart. We are moving dd1 from daycare to a catholic school nursery and pre-k program for 2 years to save money, and dh (he's an adjunct professor) is actually taking less classes so he could be home 3 days/week with the little one. My mother and mil are helping out the other days. It's literally taking 3 families to raise our children. It's awful our country does not value paid maternal leave or subsidizing of childcare. I hope our children live in a more progressive time.

Message edited 3/25/2016 8:22:10 AM.

Re: Affording Baby #2

The only reason my husband is so against it is BECAUSE of the $$. He wants more children too, we both just don't know when or if it will ever be possible to afford a 2nd in daycare.

I definitely wouldn't say I'm "stuck" on being upset or missing firsts with my DD. If anything it's the opposite. I love her so insanely and psychotically much and I love being a Mama so much that I just want more of it.

I grew up in a big family and my siblings are so important to me. This isn't a matter of wanting something materialistic I can't have. It's in my heart to have more children and we can't anytime soon because of how expensive daycare is.

So that's a really, really hard pill to swallow.

Affording Baby #2

what about an au pair ?

Re: Affording Baby #2