Baby #2 questions & concerns

So I'm so excited that I will be having my second child but I have a lot of concerns now I love my daughter so much that I feel when the new baby gets here that of course I know she won't get the same attention that she got before how do you do it with two children ??? I do I split it up?? I just don't want her to feel left out or make her think she not loved ...ugh!!! Help?!!

Baby #2 questions & concerns

I'm worried about the same thing and I'm due in 6 days! :faints:

Baby #2 questions & concerns

Involve her as much as you can and tell her how special she is because she's the big Sister. Have her help get diapers, wipes, etc. it'll be fine!

Re: Baby #2 questions & concerns

That was one of the reasons I chose to space out my children's ages. I wanted my daughter to have a good amount of time of it just being her before we added anybody else to our family. 3 years old was the youngest I wanted her to be. Ended up though that she was 4 by the time DS was born. We made it extra special by getting her input on what we would name him and having her help out with all of the preparations (going shopping with us for things he'd need, picking out outfits for him that she liked, helping paint his nursery, etc). Now that he's here, she helps out by holding him on her lap, throwing away dirty diapers, wiping him down while in the bath, and lately pushing him on the swing too. She gets a thrill out of when he smiles at her. Other than that, he was born just before Christmas and I made sure to get her a bunch of hands-on gifts that would require one-on-one time with either me or her daddy because I knew the majority of the time we would be very distracted with the baby. She's never shown any kind of sadness or jealousy with her brother. I think the fact that she's old enough to help out has a lot to do with that. She refers to him as her baby. It's very sweet. Sometimes I felt guilty about robbing her of all of our focus, but in the end her little brother is truly a gift. So just remember that the sibling your giving your child is a playmate for them and hopefully a best friend in the future. I don't know how old she is, but by giving her some ways to help out with the baby and also setting up some special one-on-one time I'm sure would help a lot. If she is still a baby herself though and couldn't really help out that much then I'm not really sure. Just trying to add some mommy time would probably be the most I could think of and lots of books about being a big sister.

Message edited 3/23/2016 9:56:58 PM.

Baby #2 questions & concerns

Trust me i would have spaced it out but im gettimg old and i wanted to have children bf im 40 bc all of the crap im going through now with testing bc im 35 is nuts to me. Im healthy and i think its crap that at the age of 35 they do all this testing for chromosomes and down syndrome that od course scares the crap out of me but everything is great! But they will be almost 2 years apart but im wondering too should i do a daycare 3 half days so she around chuldren?? Bc i feel that it would be good for her to be around children her age and to make friemds as well ...im going to involve her as much as possabile telling her its her baby and she if she would help out in any way that of course she can ...its just hard bc she is close to me and i dont want to lose that ??

Baby #2 questions & concerns

My kids are 17.5 months apart. DD1 does not remember what it's like to be an only child. She loves her baby sister. She asks about her constantly.

It was rough the first few days after I got home because I could only pick up the baby (c-section so no heavy lifting). DD1 cried because I couldn't pick her up. It killed me. But it's been 6.5 months since then and she's taken to being a big sister beautifully.

ETA: she loves to help. Gets me diapers, throws away dirty ones, gives the baby toys. I also think having her be around other kids at daycare was a huge help.

Message edited 3/23/2016 10:43:53 PM.

Baby #2 questions & concerns

Okay thank you!!! ??

Baby #2 questions & concerns

Mine are just about two years apart and I had these fears too. I questioned if I would have the same bond with the baby as my older one and I felt sad for my older one that his world was going to get turned upside down. In the end I really worried for no reason! That same instant love for my new baby was there and the transition wasn't too bad at all for us. Luckily babies sleep a lot in the beginning so there was still plenty of time I could put the baby down and play with my older one and I would save favorite tv shows or iPad time for when the baby needed feeding or attention. I let my older one help when he could which he loved! There's less downtime for you with two and of course there were moments of jealousy but our experience was really very smooth. It got a little harder once the baby was big enough to start getting into the older ones stuff but by that time he could barely remember life without her. Now a few years later they love and adore each other and play together well and even chose to share a room instead of having their own! Try not to worry about it! Good luck!

Re: Baby #2 questions & concerns

Great poem, helped me with baby #2.


Loving Two

As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?


Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" And I hear myself telling you in mine,"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.



You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.


But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you.


But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.


More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.


There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.



And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.


And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.


And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.


I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

Re: Baby #2 questions & concerns

Baby #2 questions & concerns

I could've written this post today! No advice as I'm in the same boat but nice to see that many of us have similar fears & those who have gone through it seemed to have it worked out :)

Re: Baby #2 questions & concerns

I was worried about this, but dd1 adored her sister from the first second she saw her. She does vie for our attention and we've seen a spike in some attention-seeking behaviors, but nowhere near what we were bracing for. We have less "alone time" with dd2 as a newborn, but the way I see it, everyone has more people to love them. Dd1 has a whole new person here to occupy her time, and dd2 has 3 people doting on her instead of only 2. And the first time all 4 of us were in the car together - wow - that feeling of "we're a family here! " was overwhelming!

Re: Baby #2 questions & concerns

Re: Baby #2 questions & concerns

Re: Baby #2 questions & concerns