How would you feel? Sorry long post

DH and I have yet to decide how to decorate the baby's room. We still don't know the gender so even though I have colors I like nothing has been decided. Mil shows me a pic of a clock she wants to make for the room. It's not anything that would match the colors I like but I thought it was really cute and was happy that she was so into it. Then she goes on to say she already bought the materials for the clock along with the wooden letters for both the girl's and boy's name that we picked out along with the materials to decorate them. I'm like ok. So then she goes on to tell us that she has a mural theme picked out for both a boy and girls room. DH explains to her that he wants me to decide how the room is decorated so we will let her know. Fast forward a month later DH goes to visit his mom and she shows him these paintings she did for the room. They are very creative but they are not something I would have picked but I told DH they were good and we can incorporate them in the room. From the picture he showed me they looked small.....but he tells me they will take up one whole wall. There are seven pictures all together.

Now I feel angry and guilty at the same time. I'm angry because this is my first child and I feel like I can't enjoy decorating the baby's room the way I want to without offending his mother because I don't want to hang up the pictures in the room. I feel like I should be able to decorate my child's room the way I want to without other people making decisions for me. DH thinks I'm being a ***** because I'm pissed off she went ahead and did the paintings even after he told her we were still deciding. I feel guilty because I know there are parents out there that don't have grandparents that are invested in their grandchildren lives (including my dad). Ugh please tell me I am not crazy.

How would you feel? Sorry long post

You are not crazy. I had a whole Pinterest board ready for my DDs room (pink and gray, chair rail, chandelier) and my DH went and bought a whole bedding set on clearance. He was so excited about the good deal on his pink and brown and beige find that I couldn't tell him I was disappointed. I cried and cried (ah hormones). I'm still mad and she's 2. I told him I'm picking her big girl room stuff. You are not crazy. Do you have a playroom or something that you can put those paintings in?

Re: How would you feel? Sorry long post

Not crazy at all! I put a ton of thought and effort into decorating DD's room. I would've been pissed if someone took that from me too. Is there anyway you can only use part of the pictures? I mean 7 in total is a lot. Otherwise I'd just have DH tell her you already have a theme and some decor picked out but you still want to use the clock.

Re: How would you feel? Sorry long post

Nope not crazy. Same thing happened with my 1st. My mil decided to go to my house and put up curtains SHE picked out and never even showed me or told me she was doing it. I flipped my fukking lid. My child, I decide colors and curtains. My dd is now almost 7 years old and i still think of this and get pizsed off. Lol.

I get that shes excited but they never understand that sometimes they just over step.

How would you feel? Sorry long post

No, I hibk that's a little forward of her.

Do you have a play room by any chance or a play space area you'll designate for the baby? We turned our spare bedroom into a guest room/ play space and I throw all the mismatched momentos people buy for our LO in there. Just an idea of you have the space, maybe you can incorporate the paintings/designs there.

How would you feel? Sorry long post

This is your family and you and your husband make the calls. I get along great with my MIL but her boundaries at times are shit. Your husband needs to stand firm that she needs to slow her roll and take her cues from the two of you. And if she gets upset or feels offended you both need to remind her that she was once in your position. She may not have appreciated all of the overboard input. You have many years ahead of you with your new baby and if you don't set boundaries now it may only get worse. Rip off the band aide so you can enjoy this special time. Xoxox

How would you feel? Sorry long post

You can also mention that your not ready to move forward on the things she plans for your baby but if she wants to use her artwork to make a special place for her grandchild in her own home that would be great!

Re: How would you feel? Sorry long post

Definitely not crazy. I'd either find another room for them, like a playroom. Or I'd tell her you'll use one and the rest she can keep at her house. I get that people get excited over new babies, but sheesh, let the parents have their moment! Grandparents had their moment already!

Re: How would you feel? Sorry long post

We do have another bedroom that we were planning on using as a 2nd livingroom/playroom but I wasn't planning on decorating it with children decor. I guess I'll see how I feel once we start prepping the rooms.

Thanks for making me feel not as crazy!

Re: How would you feel? Sorry long post

Re: How would you feel? Sorry long post

I would not be ok with that either. It's one thing for her to offer but another to go ahead and pick decor out without consulting you first. Especially with my hormones right now, I think I'd bug out. I think I'd make DH tell her to back off.

Re: How would you feel? Sorry long post

Re: How would you feel? Sorry long post

When DS was born, my dad, who loves trains, gave me framed trains for the nursery even though he knew we went nautical. He was just super excited for DS. So I hung them up....on the wall behind the door. Maybe you could do that too.

How would you feel? Sorry long post

I really hate these situations. Why is it always the DIL who comes off like the b*tch when the MIL feels like they can impose anything they want on them. The best excuse is how "excited" they are to be grandparents etc... There is no way Id be hanging 7 pieces of artwork my MIL picked out for my child especially if I really didn't like it. I would say straight out that was very thoughtful of you but I am picking out my own nursery decor. She is the wrong one, not you.

Re: How would you feel? Sorry long post