WWYD - childcare & the holidays

I'd like to start this by saying this is the most awkward question to ask because questions about money always make me uneasy!...

My DS is 9 months and is watched 4 days a week/8 hours a day by my sister-in-law who adores him.

I DO compensate her, but nowhere near what an average babysitter/nanny would typically get.

I should add that paying her is sort of a we-don't-really-talk-about-it-i-just-slip-her-an-envelope-every-month type of thing. She never asked to be paid, and would do it without being paid...but I like to give her something to show my appreciation.

When it comes to holidays...would a "holiday bonus" really be appropriate here? Is it awkward since she's family? Would not giving her something extra be cheap of me? And if I DO give extra...do I make a point to clarify that it's a holiday bonus so she's not expecting that much every month going forward?

WWYD - childcare & the holidays

I am in the SAME exact situation but it's not my SIL but another family member. DS is watched 4 days a week/8 hours a day by her and she never asked to be paid but we do give her something (like you said way less than what an average babysitter/nanny would get). For the holiday, I am going to get this family member something extra, like a nice purse or spa cert just to show our appreciation!

Message edited 10/13/2016 10:35:20 AM.

Re: WWYD - childcare & the holidays

I feel like a cash "bonus" may be a little awkward. I think I'd just give her an extra nice holiday gift, maybe a GC to a really nice restaurant?

WWYD - childcare & the holidays

Maybe you can put it in a card from the baby? I bet Hallmark has cards to "the nanny". This way, she knows it's a gift for her in her "nanny" role and not a regular Christmas gift as an aunt/SIL. You can give it to her on the last babysitting day before Christmas. Then you can do your regular gift exchange as family separately on the actual holiday.

Re: WWYD - childcare & the holidays

Re: WWYD - childcare & the holidays

WWYD - childcare & the holidays

I would buy a holiday card and write her a note thanking her for watching your ds and put the cash in the card seperate from her normal pay.

Re: WWYD - childcare & the holidays

Re: WWYD - childcare & the holidays

I would buy her something very nice for the holidays - an high end bag, spa, or gift certificate to their favorite restaurant.

I would not give a cash bonus

WWYD - childcare & the holidays

My son was watched by his "aunt" (not actually his aunt but a very good family friend). For Christmas he got her an extra special gift that was separate from everything else. One year it was a Pandora charm , one year a watch and 1 year a GC for dinner out with her hubby. I would never imagine giving cash in the circumstance. It was just something special for the extra she did.

Re: WWYD - childcare & the holidays

I'd give her a card "from" your DD and cash & write something to the effect of she's awesome and your DD would like her to get something special for the holidays!

A GC is ok... but personally, I'd rather have cash to buy myself something or go on a vacation...

Re: WWYD - childcare & the holidays

I'm in a similar situation with a close family member providing full time childcare and we do have an agreed upon monthly rate I pay, which is below market and very affordable. At the holidays and at least one other time during the year I give a "thank you" gift from DC.... usually something along the lines of a spa gift cert or restaurant gift cert, equivalent to a week's pay which is how much I would give as a bonus to a regular nanny at the holidays.

WWYD - childcare & the holidays

My sister gets my parents a more elaborate gift for the holidays (broadway tickets and dinner at a fancy restaurant).

Re: WWYD - childcare & the holidays

I used to have a good family friend watch my kids (the only reason she isn't is because she moved far away). I would do a separate check in a separate holiday card and in the memo section write merry christmas.

The other ideas of a gift card or extra something nice in a card from your DC sound great.

Re: WWYD - childcare & the holidays

Instead of giving her a cash bonus I would get her a really nice gift - like a nice bag that she wouldn't buy herself or a spa day (and you can watch any kids she has while she goes!).