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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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A very long childcare WWYD
I'm getting so stressed out about childcare next year.
When I go back to work from maternity leave, DS will be 2 1/2 and DD will be 4 months old.
We have 3 options so far:
1 - daycare for both kids which will be $1800/mo. I'm a little hesitant about putting a 4 mo old in daycare for 10 hrs a day. I know a lot of people do it, it just makes me sad. The second thing is that I work in the city and don't drive. In order to pick both kids up from daycare, I would have to go there from work, get them both on the train for 1 stop, and then a bus.  DH would drop them off in the morning.
2 - full time nanny - this would cost me at least $10-15k more a year than daycare for both in Queens. While we could swing it, $$ would be really tight.
3 - put DS in daycare ($900/mo) and have my mom watch DD for free. I would then have to pick DS up from daycare and then DD up from my mom's. Also, I have a VERY rocky relationship with my mother and she and I have very different parenting styles, and have gotten into many, many fights about it. Also, she is getting older, has cataracts and right now only watches DS 3x a week (she used to watch full time but complained about it being too much for her). She is insisting now that she is capable of watching DD full time but I think it is more because she does not like my other options and is a bit of a matyr. She will make me pay emotionally and psychologically for watching DD.
WWYD?
Message edited 5/18/2010 2:20:15 PM.
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Posted 5/18/10 1:45 PM  |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
I would be torn between 1 and 2. I don't think I could leave my young child with someone who has cataracts, even if we got along and they agreed with my parenting styles. But given your history, I don't think you should leave her with your mom. Sorry Holly 
Message edited 5/18/2010 1:47:49 PM.
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| Posted 5/18/10 1:47 PM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
I would do the nanny - the thought of having to get your kids from daycare and then getting on the train and bus just would seem like to much to me.
Good Luck
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| Posted 5/18/10 1:48 PM |
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hope07
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1050 total posts
Name:
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
DEFINTELY the NANNY!!!! The extra money is worth saving you the stress of the pick up situation at daycare. Its also more attention for your kids since they are the only ones the nanny is watching! GL!
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:16 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
I am not at all comfortable with the idea of a nanny - so I'd opt for daycare, regardless of the pickup situation -
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:21 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Posted by MarisaK
I am not at all comfortable with the idea of a nanny - so I'd opt for daycare, regardless of the pickup situation -
ITA -
If the nanny is sick then you have to find another way of getting coverage for the kids. At a daycare there are many teachers.
Do you know this daycare already since DS goes there already? You should feel safe with them.
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:24 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Posted by EricaAlt
Posted by MarisaK
I am not at all comfortable with the idea of a nanny - so I'd opt for daycare, regardless of the pickup situation -
ITA -
If the nanny is sick then you have to find another way of getting coverage for the kids. At a daycare there are many teachers.
Do you know this daycare already since DS goes there already? You should feel safe with them.
My mom would be the coverage for any days the nanny calls out.
My DS is currently split between a part-time babysitter and my mom, so we don't have any experience with the daycare center yet. I spoke to the director and we have a tour next week.
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:27 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Personally, I prefer daycare to a nanny, so that would be my choice. I also think daycare would be great for your 2.5 year old.
I can see the point of others re: pick-up being a hassle. When you say money would be tight with a nanny, not sure how tight. If you would be living paycheck to paycheck and unable to do any small splurge, I would not do it. If you would just have a bit less to spend, it's probably not so bad.
I wouldn't leave my child with a parent or any relative I had a rocky relationship with--even if you think she'll do a great job with DC, it could put even more strain on your relationship.
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:29 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
I wouldn't want my baby in daycare, so I would def. choose nanny. Plus you wouldn't have to take the kids out every AM. It would be ideal for your mom to watch DD but not if you are going to have more stress than it's worth.
I just saw your arrangement w/ DS, could the PT babysitter take care of both kids? and maybe your mom can watch them one day / week?
Message edited 5/18/2010 2:31:45 PM.
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:30 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Personally, I prefer daycare but that's obviously a personal preference.
But in your case, I might opt for the nanny since being a FT working mom with 2 LOs is hard enough - add your commute and the pick-up hassle - sounds like a nightmare!
At Frankie's age though, I'm sure he'd do great in daycare or another activity - so would you then have to factor in the cost of the nanny bringing him to an activity?
Would it be cost effective at all to get a nanny for DD who drives (to pick up Frankie) and put just DS in daycare?
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:34 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Posted by maybesoon
I just saw your arrangement w/ DS, could the PT babysitter take care of both kids? and maybe your mom can watch them one day / week?
I don't trust my current babysitter with both an infant and DS. She's good for now, but even at 2 days a week, I see that she has "off" days where she does the bare minimum with DS and DS is a super easy toddler. I don't think she could handle both.
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:37 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
I'd go with the nanny. I think it would be extremely difficult to get 2 small children on a subway then a bus everyday.
I'm sorry you're so stressed about this. I know the feeling 
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:39 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
what about an in-home sitter within walking distance of your home?
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:39 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Posted by SweetCaroline
Personally, I prefer daycare but that's obviously a personal preference.
But in your case, I might opt for the nanny since being a FT working mom with 2 LOs is hard enough - add your commute and the pick-up hassle - sounds like a nightmare!
At Frankie's age though, I'm sure he'd do great in daycare or another activity - so would you then have to factor in the cost of the nanny bringing him to an activity?
Would it be cost effective at all to get a nanny for DD who drives (to pick up Frankie) and put just DS in daycare?
Right now, daycare for 2 is my top choice, but the logistics of picking them both up and public transportation just seems impossible.
Ideally a nanny for DD and daycare for DS would be prefect, bc I really think Frankie would thrive in daycare, but the cost of a nanny for 1, plus daycare came to something ridiculous like $35-40k/yr!!
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:43 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Posted by Shorty
what about an in-home sitter within walking distance of your home?
My DH is completely not comfortable with the idea of small in-home daycare centers.
He likes the idea of a larger, regulated center much better.
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:45 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
I vote for day care. I don't love the idea of putting a 4 month old in day care either - I'll be doing it with DS when he's only 3 months - but I had an awful experience with a babysitter and I just can't get past it.
Would you consider a short-term arrangement with your mom? Maybe until DD is 6 or 7 months old? This way you set things up with a clear end in mind and your DD is a little older before switching her to day care..
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:47 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Ugh Holly.
I'd do daycare or nanny. Personally, even with the train/bus, etc, *I* would do daycare. You are going to end up paying for a nanny and daycare will be good for Frankie
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:50 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Are there any car services you can hire for pick up for you and the kids ? I know that sounds far fetched, but with the $$ you'd save on a nanny if you do daycare - it might be better to hire some sort of driver.
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:53 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Posted by SweetCaroline
Are there any car services you can hire for pick up for you and the kids ? I know that sounds far fetched, but with the $$ you'd save on a nanny if you do daycare - it might be better to hire some sort of driver.
That's not a bad idea, you could leave the infant carrier at daycare during the day...
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:54 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Posted by SweetCaroline
Are there any car services you can hire for pick up for you and the kids ? I know that sounds far fetched, but with the $$ you'd save on a nanny if you do daycare - it might be better to hire some sort of driver.
That's an interesting idea. I'll have to call up a few places by me and price it out, but it would definitely make things so much easier.
Thanks!
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:57 PM |
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bonitachyc
big sister status may 2012!!
Member since 5/08 3242 total posts
Name:
Lupe
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
if money will be tight, you'll learn to make do with what little you have. get a nanny, it'll be the best option.
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:58 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
if it were me, I'd do daycare.
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| Posted 5/18/10 2:59 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Posted by eroxgirl
I vote for day care. I don't love the idea of putting a 4 month old in day care either - I'll be doing it with DS when he's only 3 months - but I had an awful experience with a babysitter and I just can't get past it.
Would you consider a short-term arrangement with your mom? Maybe until DD is 6 or 7 months old? This way you set things up with a clear end in mind and your DD is a little older before switching her to day care..
I could definitely do this. For some reason, 6-7 mos does sound much easier than 4 mos and both my mom and I would know there was an end to it. It will also bring me closer to the spring and the end of cold/flu season.
Along with the car service idea, this may be a workable option.
Thank you!
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| Posted 5/18/10 3:00 PM |
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
Posted by MarisaK
I am not at all comfortable with the idea of a nanny - so I'd opt for daycare, regardless of the pickup situation -
ITA - take the money that would have gone to the nanny and get a little Honda Civic or something cheap to use for the commute with the kids
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| Posted 5/19/10 10:04 AM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: A very long childcare WWYD
I'd enroll DS at Daycare and have your Mom watch DD either FT for a few months or PT and enroll her in PT daycare.
I think 5 days a week FT might be too much for your mom but maybe a PT schedule for her and daycare might be a nice balance for her and your DD.
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| Posted 5/19/10 10:13 AM |
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