Kindergarten Behaviour Issues - Any advice please!!!!

I am going to apologize in advance because this is going to be long but I am at my wits end. My son is 5 (6 in July) and in kindergarten. Academically he is doing great with no issues. Reading and math both on grade level. He is a happy silly boy and really a very sweet kid. I know I am his mom but he is not malicious or mean. However lately he has been having some strange behavior issues at school and on the bus and I am really not sure what to do. About 2 months ago I got a call from the assistant principal that my son was in the bathroom and started throwing paper towels at another child who he did not know. This child got angry and threw my son to the ground and kicked him. My son was upset and went to the nurse and that's how it was found out that he started the confrontation. He says he though they would play by throwing paper towels at each other. 2 weeks ago he came off the bus holding his face and said that him and another child were playing a slapping game that this boy taught him where you slap each other in the face and he got hurt. I explained that type of game is unacceptable and made him promise not to play again. Last week I get a call from the principal that my son and the brother of boy from the bus (2nd grade) were in the cafeteria waiting for their bus at dismissal and were slapping each other very hard in the face. Again my son says they were playing that slapping game. This time he was punished for 3 days (no iPad and no games). Today he was in yellow at the end of the day ( they have a system where he kids start at green every day and then move to yellow/ red depending on behavior). I asked why and he said it was because at recess he started playing that slapping game with another little boy and that kid hit him hard in the chest. So my son went to the nurse. Again it was my son who started the "game" and then got hurt. This time he is punished for a week ( no iPad, no Nintendo, no dessert and were are not going to play with his experiment kit that he was looking forward to this weekend).

When we had parent teacher conferences a couple weeks ago his teachers said he is not a behavior problem in class at all and that he just need to work on self control but that it is an age appropriate issue. They specifically said they had no concerns for him because we asked.

It seems to me that he has issues during unstructured and less supervised times since he is not having these issues in the classroom. I feel like our punishments are not working because 4 days after his punishment ended for the slapping in the lunchroom he just did it again. I don't think he is trying to hurt people because he is not doing it out of anger. I think he is just making poor choices and for some reason he can't seem to understand that what he is doing is going to get himself or someone hurt.

Does anyone have any experience with this type of thing? I want to say part of it is immaturity but I can't continue to let this behavior continue because I am afraid of how it will impact him going forward. Do you think a child psychologist might help? I don't want to overreact and his teachers both love him and have not raised any issues but it's just these random acts of stupidity for lack of a better word and I am going to lose it. Any advice is appreciate.

Re: Kindergarten Behaviour Issues - Any advice please!!!!

Nah... I think it's just silliness/attention seeking.

I'd ask him how he felt when he got hit hard. How does he think the other kid feels when he hits them. I'm also kind of mean when DS gets hurt doing something stupid and tell him he deserves it... like a bloody nose from jumping on the sofa.

I'd stress he's not allowed to hit kids at all & these games are against the rules. If he plays again... you will... and then pick a punishment that will really hurt. Throw something out in the garbage and talk about it a lot. I threw out my son's Star Wars decals for doing something dangerous. He remembers it very clearly... it's permanent.

Re: Kindergarten Behaviour Issues - Any advice please!!!!

Agree with pp. Take something away that he wil really remember. Be prepared. He will cry a lot. But trust me he'll remember. On a side note, I was never spanked as a kid. One time, when I was about 6 or 7 I ran into the street to grab and didn't look. There was a car down the block (nowhere near me) but I wasn't paying attention. My dad reached into the street and picked me up and spanked me so hard and said don't I ever do that again (I really scared him-I was tiny and he thought the car wouldn't see me). Needless to say, I NEVER did that again. I still remember it 30 years later!!!

By the way, I'm not saying to spank him just do something that will make a big impact.

Kindergarten Behaviour Issues - Any advice please!!!!

This sounds like my son. My son's teacher have spoken to us a few times about his behavior. For instance, DS will start a spitting game with friends in class and take it too far. He thinks it's just funny. I'm sure he's initiating it half the time. In my case I think it's immaturity and being silly. I punish him with taking away his ipad but that's not always effective. I just continue to talk to him about what is consider good or bad behavior hoping it sinks in.

Kindergarten Behaviour Issues - Any advice please!!!!

I think a psychologist is a bit much at this point. Soundso like many 5 year old boys I know. Agree with pp, firm punishment and stick with it.