Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

DD is in first grade and has had one official play date ever. That was with a girl from daycare years ago. DH and I both work FT and not many of our friends have kids our kids age.

DD was invited to one last year by a girl in her class during a holiday that they were off school but I had to work. I had childcare arranged for DD and couldn't do the play date so I offered a weekend. The mom responded that her weekend was buys and that was the end of it.

I hate socializing with people I don't know, hate small talk and all that but would suck it up for my kids. DD asks on occasion but since we only have weekends, it's hard to fit them in. She does go to aftercare and plays with kids there and does sports. Is it really unusual to not do play dates?

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

I never really did any until she got into elementary and was old enough to go home on the bus with her best friend (who I know the mom well) and I'd just pick her up a few hours later.
We do the same and the girl comes here.

Occasionally we will do a drop off play date on a weekend with a few girls who she has known since daycare who go to her elementary now. But that is pretty rare and again, it's a drop off as I know the moms well.

I am NOT a fan of sitting around someone's house that I barely know for 2 hours making small talk. That to me would be torture worse than a root canal- just being honest.

DD seems fine and well adjusted.

Before elementary she was in daycare 10 hours a day, 3 days a week. She got plenty of social time there.
Weekends were for family

Message edited 2/21/2018 8:53:15 AM.

Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Crashing. I don’t see why kids in daycare need play dates. They spend all day, every day with other kids. My DD is still little but I don’t see how I could schlep her back and forth to play dates on top of everything else I do.

The only “play dates” she gets are if I get together with a friend who has kids and I’m not sure that even constitutes a play date.

Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

My DD starting asking for play dates around the 1st grade really. DH and I work FT so it's really hard to arrange this and weekends are booked with activities and family time. She will go over a friend's house or they come by me around school breaks or on a Fri night. That's about it.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Nope, my son is 9 and never had a play date. When he is old enough that he can hang out at his friends house with out me having to sit there then he can have as many play dates as he wants.

ETA: which i'm sure he is at that age now.

Im old school, never had a playdate or rather it wasn't a thing when I was growing up. The term play date cracks me up.. a date to play. Idk why

Message edited 2/21/2018 9:52:27 AM.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Posted by Sash

Nope, my son is 9 and never had a play date. When he is old enough that he can hang out at his friends house with out me having to sit there then he can have as many play dates as he wants.

ETA: which i'm sure he is at that age now.

Im old school, never had a playdate or rather it wasn't a thing when I was growing up. The term play date cracks me up.. a date to play. Idk why

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by Sash

Nope, my son is 9 and never had a play date. When he is old enough that he can hang out at his friends house with out me having to sit there then he can have as many play dates as he wants.

ETA: which i'm sure he is at that age now.

Im old school, never had a playdate or rather it wasn't a thing when I was growing up. The term play date cracks me up.. a date to play. Idk why

LOL. Yeah it is kind of an odd term.
But I am also not a fan of "date night" with the husband.
It's not a date, we are married. We are done dating.
If we go out alone, it's just dinner out

Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

I like them, but mainly b/c my son is an only child and he likes playing video games with his friends. For me, I usually hate small talk, but I haven't made any friends since moving her almost a year ago so I look at it as a way to hopefully get a friend for me.

If there's a parent I hate talking to, then I'm less likely to invite the kid over for another play date. We had one a few months ago and it was the dad that brought his son over and his English is hard to understand (he's from China) so *that* was an uncomfortable 2 hours!!

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

My oldest barely has playdates but he has a bunch of friends that live on our block so they all go outside and play and then they all end up back at someone's house. I arrange a few playdates a year where other friends come over but it's infrequent.

My daughters also have friends on our block but I arrange playdates for them frequently. They are playdate addicts. It's annoying sometimes because they are only 17 months apart and they could just play with one another but instead I am driving them around or entertaining other kids here. Usually it ends up here. Most of the time it's not bad because they are quiet and I can get other stuff done but occasionally we have those "let's destroy the basement" types of kids over and it looks like a bomb went off when they leave.

I am a SAHM though (well, part time work from home now). I find that it is difficult to arrange playdates with working moms, because weekends are typically very busy for us and it's not ideal, but I try to make it work.

As for sitting around someone's house - I don't think I have done a playdate where I actually stayed or had a parent stay since my kids were around 3. Even then sometimes it was a drop off. I don't think anyone wants you sitting around their house for two or three hours either! Although I do always offer that parents are more than welcome to stay in case they are uncomfortable with the drop off. I have never had a parent take me up on it. Maybe they stay and chit chat at the beginning or end for 5-10 minutes but that's about it.

If your daughter isn't asking for playdates I wouldn't push it.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

We don't do playdates that often at all.

We went to one from someone that she goes to school with. Any other ones that might be considered one were with really good friends

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

We do playdates, but when I worked FT I can definitely see how it's hard to make them. Most of them we do after school and now the boys are getting older so we do some on the weekends.
Honestly, when they're real little it's more for the parents not the kids. Now I do most drop off playdates. Although some moms I have become close with bc of playdates we did and we still get together, but we'll do dinners together with the kids and DH's, have wine, eat, etc and the kids play or we meet at restaurants.

Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

my oldest DS is in first grade and we hardly ever have playdates. i just don't like people in my house HAHA whether its just the kid, or if the parent stays. i'm a total introvert, and my house is my little hermit hole LOL DS is also extremely active, so i feel like the few times we've had playdates here, i just play referee the whole time- because he likes active play, not just sitting and playing Legos or whatever. so i end up nervous the whole time that he's gonna beat up the other kid or something. Plus, its hard- i'm a SAHM and most of the moms we know are working moms, so after school playdates don't work a lot of times, and everybody is always busy on the weekends.... so mostly he and my 4 year old play together. and once in awhile we' do a playgrond or something with friends. We hardly ever do playdates at our house, OR go over somebody else's house to play. we're just not overly social people....

Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

yes we try to do play dates as often as we can - we both work full time and my husband has a 2nd job. I think its important for them to build those friendships and have that time away from each other with their own friends (I have 2 girls). My older dd (3rd grade) just went out to dinner with her friends family yesterday. She really enjoyed having that experience and my husband and I got to take my younger one out for some "alone time" for her.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Crashing.... But my 3.5 DS calls them 'play overs.'


But I agree, he's in daycare 5 days a week like all day. But he still asks for 'play overs.'

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

We do playdates. My 2nd grader not as much bc he's my little bookworm and never asks but my 4 y.o. asks all the time. We just had one yesterday. At age 4 I don't do drop off and the moms of his friends always stay here also. We make small talk. It is what it is, the kids have fun and that's the goal. It's easy to schedule where I live bc I'm at SAHM and most are also. The play dates are usually 2-3 hours.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Message edited 2/21/2018 9:31:47 PM.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Not a huge fan of play dates. My kids are close in age so they play with each other & otherwise they're at daycare/school so they play with all their friends all day there. The weekends are for family time, since I only get to see them a few hours each night after work before they go to bed... I'm stingy with my time on days off.
My oldest DS (who is 4) was invited for a play date recently with a kid who's in his class... it was sort of a disaster bc my ds was so cranky & acted like a complete jerk at this boy's house... refusing to play & kept whining to the mom for more snacks... I was so embarrassed & incredibly pissed at him for behaving that way, he was punished the rest of the day so it kind of ruined the day for all of us & I felt terrible for his friend... I haven't had a chance to invite that boy over to our house yet but planning to soon to try to make up for what happened when we went over there. Ugh.
So yeah playdates are not my favorite thing.

Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

My twin boys are in 1st Grade. I have had 4 different boys over already on different days. I usually take them home from school with me & the mom picks up at 6pm. It works out fine.

Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

We do them occasionally.

My second grader usually ends up playing with the boys in the neighborhood but, sometimes his friend comes to join them.

My kindergartener has had a couple of friends over.

We also meet people at the playground on weekends. My DH works a lot of weekends, and many people in our town have DH's who work on weekends so it's nice socialization for me as well.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

We rarely do planned play dates.. but my older 2 kids play outside with the neighborhood kids every day it’s nice out, and if it’s bad weather they are all in my basement playing. My DD has asked to have more play dates bc most of her friends don’t live close enough, but I find most working parents aren’t able to so I no longer bother.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

I am a stay at home mom and i do them for all 3 of my kids. The kids like having their friends over and I've made a few friends from having these playdates myself. For my older two, sometimes the moms will stay, other times no, but i do enjoy when the moms stay. I make coffee, put out a snack and we chat while the kids play.

I even have playdates for my 2.5 year old with some of her friends from nursery school. I like her to socialize with her friends outside of school and I find it a good way for me to get to meet some of the moms aside from the few minutes we chat at drop off and pick up.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Message edited 3/5/2018 2:52:18 PM.

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't do play dates?

If you guys work and your dd is in aftercare, then it is too hard. I have a nanny and the kids have lots of play dates. But from 1st grade up, no parents come. It is just the kids. Most parents don’t want to hang out - they have a couple of hours free!

Message edited 3/7/2018 11:00:15 AM.