Help me w potty training!

DS will be 3 next week.
We've been trying to potty train him for a little over a month now. It's been going nowhere. No progress.
He's happy to sit on the potty and even says when he wants to sit, pulls his own pants down etc. (sees his big brother doing it so he wants to do it too)
Then... nothing happens. He'll just sit there and hang out for a while but that's it... In a whole month of sitting on the potty he hasn't peed or pooped in it once!
He's not into any rewards... I tried a sticker chart and candy, telling him he can watch one of his shows if he goes in the potty, he picked out the underwear he wanted (he peed or pooped in them all so I've had to buy the same type a few times now), etc. I told him when we run out of this box of diapers/ pull ups I'm not buying anymore because he'll be a big boy & I'm not allowed to buy him diapers anymore when he's 3. LOL.. he's like ok!
We give him lots of fluids. Thinking it'll make him go. We say tell us when you feel like you have to go... he decides to sit , then tells me "Nothing's coming out Mama!" Other times I ask him if he went yet and he says "yeah I went!" But there's nothing in his potty. He only ever goes when he's wearing his underwear and seems shocked when he pees everywhere. Like he's thinking How did that happen??? I starting putting a pull up over his underwear just to contain the constant accidents. I have to put him in diapers overnight.
Nothing seems to be working.... We didn't have any of these issues training my older son.. he was trained within a week for pee (little longer for poop) & he was about the same age maybe a few months younger.
Should we keep trying??? I really want him out of diapers & he's old enough but I don't understand why he's not making the connection.

Help me w potty training!

I think you need to ditch the pull ups and diapers during the day and watch him like a hawk. I mean nonstop eyes on him so you can catch either the peepee dance or the very start of an accident to make him run to the potty. A few days of that, which is exhausting, and he should at least start to make the connection. My first was so easy but my second took forever so i feel your pain.

Help me w potty training!

Put underwear on him with a pull up over it (to avoid the mess) and once he can really feel he is wet, he will start to be more aware of being wet! and he just may not be ready, yes he is interested and is 3 but he just might not be there yet!

Re: Help me w potty training!

Maybe set a timer... every time it goes off he has to try on the potty. He'll be on the potty a lot more frequently but you might have a better chance of him going on the potty if you try every 10 mins.

Otherwise, I'd call it quits for now. My DS was not ready until he was almost 4.

Help me w potty training!

Not what you want to hear, but sounds like he just is not ready. In the meantime both of you are jut getting frustrated. My son was over 5 before he was fully trained. But when I stopped trying at 3 and 4 life became so much better. And when it was time, he received a letter from the diaper fairy that on mmm,dd,2018 she would be coming to take the diapers. And she did. He was allowed to wear them at bedtime. He held it all day for the first 3 days after that. Then on the 4th day he said, i have to go pee got up and went. Has not had an accident since then. Poop was another issue altogether.

Help me w potty training!

I don't think he's ready yet. My son is almost 4 and only training now. We tried first a year ago and he was not interested in the least. We tried several times since, and each time I could tell he wasn't ready. He had ZERO interest, not in sitting on the potty, not in the underwear, not in any rewards, etc. He's my second boy and my older trained sooner and much easier. But every kid is different. Once I realized he wasn't ready and put the idea aside, it became much less stressful for both of us. He's finally ready now and training is going so much better. Give it time.

Re: Help me w potty training!

I love that 3 day method: the one where you roll everything up and cover it and feed kid liquids and just watch them all day with a potty in the middle of the room. It is NOT fun for you. You seriously can’t do anything for 3 days... BUT It works. I have done it 3 times with kids 2 & younger. One needed a “booster” when she decided all chairs were potties. It worked with 3 very different personalities (2 girls, 1 boy). Poop took longer for the boy, but we washed a LOT of underwear and it was OK. Everything was worked out before 3 years old (preschool required full training AND wiping independence).

I used pull ups at night... two never needed it (so I stopped them just before 3 years old), but the boy peed in his pull up til 6, when I used the Wetstop alarm... which also really works. I have been to a nephrologist for another issue and she swears by the Wetstop for her patients.

Re: Help me w potty training!

No advice but I am in the same boat with my DD, she will be 3 at the end of June and just has no interest at all in potty training. She will sit if I offer her something but is afraid to pee or poop on the potty. I may have to do a three day bootcamp with her- it will be hard since she's so stubborn.

Help me w potty training!

He might not be ready just yet. With dd, the first time we tried, so was so excited to sit on the potty, but she would have a lot of accidents. So we went back to diapers and stopped potty training all together for a few more months. Then, one night I realized that every time I put her in the bath , she would per. And she would laugh that she was peeing in the tub, as if she was doing it on purpose because she thought it was funny. Gross. BUT, I realized if she can make herself pee because she thinks its funny, she can control it now, so I started putting the potty next to the tub and I woiuld have her sit on it right before she got in the bath. She would go in the potty and we made such a big deal praising her. And that's how she learned. Every kid is different, but it sounds like if he sitting there and nothing is coming out, maybe he doesn't know how to "go" yet. Good luck!

Re: Help me w potty training!

He’s probably not ready. Take a break and wait a few more months. I waited with both of my kids until a few months after their 3rd birthday and both were fully trained in 2 days. Only a few accidents at that point.

Use a timer. We used the timer on the iPad for every 20 minutes and as soon as it went off, they ran to the potty. No pull-ups unless we were going to be out for a while without access to a bathroom. Also, no pull-ups at night. Make a big deal when they wake up dry.

I think the big help for me was their age. They weren’t ready any earlier.

Help me w potty training!

I started with dd a year ago when she turned 2. She would do#2 rarely. She would sit but really want keen on the idea. A few months ago, we started trying to catch her. She would fight us though. Then one day, in February, she told me she had to go potty and that was it. On her terms. She declared herself a big girl. And she was sure she got her 2 m&ma. Those heeled!

Good luck. It's frustrating but it's true. They need to be ready.

Help me w potty training!

My kids were not potty trained. I introduced the potty to them around 2yo, and they figured it out on their own terms. It’s much less stress on the parents/kids if it’s not forced. Both of them were exactly 3 when they trained and haven’t had any issues with accidents/withholding/etc.

ETA: Waking up dry at night is totally developmental and some kids just don’t wake up to use the bathroom. They’ll eventually get it but may need some type of pull-up for sleeping after they’re day trained.

Message edited 4/26/2018 7:51:35 AM.

Re: Help me w potty training!

Thanks so much for all the feedback.
I'm thinking he isn't ready. He doesn't seem to understand yet that he has control over when/where he pees or poops.
I'm going to give it more time & let it go for now. Maybe it'll click for him a few months from now & he'll just figure it out on his own. Or maybe we'll work on it over the summer.

Re: Help me w potty training!