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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by EMC11709
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by anonymoususer
Aww come on guys
She didn't ask our opinions she just asked if any of us knew a place
Original poster- no clue but just maybe call places she likes to go to and ask?
While I agree she didn't ask for opinions, it's hard to suggest a restaurant that accommodates 70 people who will be paying separately because I'm pretty sure that doesn't exist. For that many people, you would need to close down the restaurant or book a private room and no business is going to book a party that the guests are paying for individually.
Thank you for this. I was not looking for opinions just places. Yes we were looking for a private room. I will just start calling places then. Another friend has done this but in NYC so I was just curious if anyone new of places on Long Island.
Thank you again
If you’re willing to go to the city there are definitely bars that do this. A friend of DH’s wife does this for her husband every year. It’s an open bar for 2 or 3 hours and then she arranges for apps and cake (she pays that part). I’ve been to many similar events.
I’m not trying to be mean, but I do think a bar lends itself to the occasion better. People likely won’t want to spend $45 on buffet food but would probably gladly drop that on drinks.
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Posted 5/16/18 8:38 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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twizzlers
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/14 874 total posts
Name:
x
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Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Logistically speaking, I feel bad for any restaurant who has to collect money from 70 people individually for a party.
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| Posted 5/16/18 8:44 AM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by EMC11709
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by anonymoususer
Aww come on guys
She didn't ask our opinions she just asked if any of us knew a place
Original poster- no clue but just maybe call places she likes to go to and ask?
While I agree she didn't ask for opinions, it's hard to suggest a restaurant that accommodates 70 people who will be paying separately because I'm pretty sure that doesn't exist. For that many people, you would need to close down the restaurant or book a private room and no business is going to book a party that the guests are paying for individually.
Thank you for this. I was not looking for opinions just places. Yes we were looking for a private room. I will just start calling places then. Another friend has done this but in NYC so I was just curious if anyone new of places on Long Island.
Thank you again
If you’re willing to go to the city there are definitely bars that do this. A friend of DH’s wife does this for her husband every year. It’s an open bar for 2 or 3 hours and then she arranges for apps and cake (she pays that part). I’ve been to many similar events.
I’m not trying to be mean, but I do think a bar lends itself to the occasion better. People likely won’t want to spend $45 on buffet food but would probably gladly drop that on drinks.
I agree. I've been to many parties where it was meet at this bar, this time -- you pay for your own drinks or your own open bar bracelet. No big deal. At these parties no one ever expects a gift.
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| Posted 5/16/18 8:50 AM |
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pugmama
April already?
Member since 3/06 5297 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
I used to think this was tacky but then I got invited to at least 5 parties this way. I think more people are realizing how expensive things are and figure that those who dont want to pay wont come.
Hendricks Tavern, The Cuban, and Jackie Reillys are the places I can think of right now that I was invited to this way.
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| Posted 5/16/18 9:45 AM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
I would be more inclined to attend a party like this if it were at a bar-style venue, not a formal place. If it was a formal party, I would be turned off at the thought of going because it's odd to pay your own way.
I have been invited to parties like this at bars, though. It's like $30/pp for bar food and an open bar, but it's like chicken fingers and wings and things and it's all buffet style. Very informal, and pretty normal now. Alot of people do that
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| Posted 5/16/18 10:06 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by mommy2be716
I would be more inclined to attend a party like this if it were at a bar-style venue, not a formal place. If it was a formal party, I would be turned off at the thought of going because it's odd to pay your own way.
I have been invited to parties like this at bars, though. It's like $30/pp for bar food and an open bar, but it's like chicken fingers and wings and things and it's all buffet style. Very informal, and pretty normal now. Alot of people do that
This was what I was referring to when I said what I wanted to do for DHs Birthday. A lot of our friends did it at the time - it was an open bar special with some apps.
I did get invited to a good friends birthday dinner out of town for her 40th and was quite surprised when I was handed a bill for my meal and drinks at the end. Especially since I spent money to get there!!!
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| Posted 5/16/18 12:06 PM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
If it's an informal venue like a bar, a lot of people do an open invite and let people pay their own way. If it's a formal dinner or formal venue, I don't think people should pay for themselves UNLESS your groups does events like this a lot and this is the norm.
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| Posted 5/16/18 1:59 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by twizzlers
Logistically speaking, I feel bad for any restaurant who has to collect money from 70 people individually for a party.
I've never attended a party like this, but I was invited to a few. From what I understood, the venue collected the money beforehand from the person who booked it and everyone that attended just paid that person. It's kinda tacky IMO, but I have a circle of acquaintances that I think it's the norm for.
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| Posted 5/16/18 2:29 PM |
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Nickles01
LIF Infant
Member since 3/16 165 total posts
Name:
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Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
I think you are going to have a really hard time finding a venue that is willing to hold a spot for an unlimited amount of people without paying upfront and then trying to gather the $ from people will be an issue. If food is out people who didn't pay will grab it bc its there.
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| Posted 5/16/18 2:35 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
Posted by twizzlers
Logistically speaking, I feel bad for any restaurant who has to collect money from 70 people individually for a party.
I've never attended a party like this, but I was invited to a few. From what I understood, the venue collected the money beforehand from the person who booked it and everyone that attended just paid that person. It's kinda tacky IMO, but I have a circle of acquaintances that I think it's the norm for.
How awkward would that be to ask the people for the money. Like- oh hi, thanks for coming! By the way, ummm, that'll be $40.
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| Posted 5/16/18 2:37 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by BargainMama
I have no idea, but this is incredibly tacky to invite 70 people to a party and have them pay their own way
This. I would not be helping her out to plan this. I'm sorry it's incredibly tacky.
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| Posted 5/16/18 6:45 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by RainyDay
Posted by ali120206
I was going to do this for DHs 30th - but I ended up not. if it’s an open bar I don’t think it’s tacky for a 30th. Maybe if it was for 40...
Its tacky regardless of age. Don't throw a party to celebrate your birthday if you expect people to pay for themselves.
This. My 40th is coming up and we are on a tight budget. I told DH no party but I do want to go to a nice restaurant with my close family and friends and we will pay. I would not ask people to celebrate an occasion for me and then expect them to pay their way. I'd rather do something simple at home if I couldn't afford a party but this is me.
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| Posted 5/16/18 6:51 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Try Jackson's in Commack. They have a private room and different packages that may fit your budget. It's a casual American food/bar type place and the food is good.
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| Posted 5/16/18 6:54 PM |
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EMC11709
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/10 484 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Thank you for the suggestions, we will into it. If anyone has any other recommendations for a Bar that would offer drink packages and apps we would be open to that as well.
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| Posted 5/16/18 8:02 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
Posted by twizzlers
Logistically speaking, I feel bad for any restaurant who has to collect money from 70 people individually for a party.
I've never attended a party like this, but I was invited to a few. From what I understood, the venue collected the money beforehand from the person who booked it and everyone that attended just paid that person. It's kinda tacky IMO, but I have a circle of acquaintances that I think it's the norm for.
So what happens when people say they are going to be there and then dont show/pay?
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| Posted 5/16/18 8:09 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
so my sister AND cousin just did something similar in long beach.
I am the first to say it sounded tacky..when I saw the invite go out through FB I was like ehhhhh but what they did was have an option to buy a bracelet which provided like 3 hours of open bar and some snacks. My cousins party was at das biergarten and they had soft pretzels/wings etc. My sisters party was at speakeasy. It was $40 for a bracelet and you got 3 hours open bar, and they had out trays of sliders, philly egg rolls, mozz sticks etc.
I feel like I'm seeing this a LOT lately for 30th bday parties. IDK how I still feel, I didn't mind paying $40 for it and celebrating them BUT I can totally see how others may be offended. Guests had the option of coming to the party and not getting the bracelet and paying per drink instead.
I just had my 40th at Brixx and Barley but refused to do that. we had 18 family member at a more intimate dinner and DH paid the bill for everyone. It was perfect.
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| Posted 5/17/18 4:17 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by MrsT809
Posted by BargainMama
I have no idea, but this is incredibly tacky to invite 70 people to a party and have them pay their own way
Sorry but I have to agree. Why not just invite people to a bar for a happy hour this way people can come by for a drink, order food if they want, and not be obligated to fund an adult's birthday party.
I agree
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| Posted 5/17/18 6:53 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by maybebaby
so my sister AND cousin just did something similar in long beach.
I am the first to say it sounded tacky..when I saw the invite go out through FB I was like ehhhhh but what they did was have an option to buy a bracelet which provided like 3 hours of open bar and some snacks. My cousins party was at das biergarten and they had soft pretzels/wings etc. My sisters party was at speakeasy. It was $40 for a bracelet and you got 3 hours open bar, and they had out trays of sliders, philly egg rolls, mozz sticks etc.
I feel like I'm seeing this a LOT lately for 30th bday parties. IDK how I still feel, I didn't mind paying $40 for it and celebrating them BUT I can totally see how others may be offended. Guests had the option of coming to the party and not getting the bracelet and paying per drink instead.
I just had my 40th at Brixx and Barley but refused to do that. we had 18 family member at a more intimate dinner and DH paid the bill for everyone. It was perfect.
I guess I am old school because I would never even consider something like this.
At the risk of sounding like a "mom", times sure have changed! 
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| Posted 5/17/18 7:21 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by maybebaby
so my sister AND cousin just did something similar in long beach.
I am the first to say it sounded tacky..when I saw the invite go out through FB I was like ehhhhh but what they did was have an option to buy a bracelet which provided like 3 hours of open bar and some snacks. My cousins party was at das biergarten and they had soft pretzels/wings etc. My sisters party was at speakeasy. It was $40 for a bracelet and you got 3 hours open bar, and they had out trays of sliders, philly egg rolls, mozz sticks etc.
I feel like I'm seeing this a LOT lately for 30th bday parties. IDK how I still feel, I didn't mind paying $40 for it and celebrating them BUT I can totally see how others may be offended. Guests had the option of coming to the party and not getting the bracelet and paying per drink instead.
I just had my 40th at Brixx and Barley but refused to do that. we had 18 family member at a more intimate dinner and DH paid the bill for everyone. It was perfect.
This I would be fine with. I mentioned a happy hour but I know some places put out food or do bracelets. I just didn't have any specific places. But the op mentioned $45 with out drinks! That's a totally different story imo. Having guests fund a party in a private room that costs $45 before drinks is tacky.
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| Posted 5/17/18 8:55 AM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
My friends took me out for my 30th birthday but they suggested it and they paid and treated me. I wasn't planning it.
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| Posted 5/17/18 8:58 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Honestly, I think it’s all in how it’s presented. A formal invitation to a party in a private room at a restaurant with a buffet dinner that costs $45 is tacky.
An informal “hey going out for drinks at xxx for my 30th, would love for you to join! There is an option for open bar ($40pp) if you like. Hope you can make it!” to me, is significantly less tacky.
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| Posted 5/17/18 9:04 AM |
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Tulips915
................
Member since 8/08 6851 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by LuckyStar
Honestly, I think it’s all in how it’s presented. A formal invitation to a party in a private room at a restaurant with a buffet dinner that costs $45 is tacky.
An informal “hey going out for drinks at xxx for my 30th, would love for you to join! There is an option for open bar ($40pp) if you like. Hope you can make it!” to me, is significantly less tacky.
Exactly!!!
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| Posted 5/17/18 9:08 AM |
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brooke23
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/11 482 total posts
Name:
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by LuckyStar
Honestly, I think it’s all in how it’s presented. A formal invitation to a party in a private room at a restaurant with a buffet dinner that costs $45 is tacky.
An informal “hey going out for drinks at xxx for my 30th, would love for you to join! There is an option for open bar ($40pp) if you like. Hope you can make it!” to me, is significantly less tacky.
Yeah, I guess I would agree that doing it this way is ok. I went to a dinner last weekend for a 40th birthday (the birthday boy is a dr, I should point out too)-- there were 12 of us, including his parents and one of their friends (they are all family friends of ours too)--- his parents were sure to have a separate check for them and their friend since us 'young ones" would be ordering drinks (although none of us had more than 2 I should point out)....and then the "young ones" all paid for ourselves and the birthday boy. I knew this would be done so I anticipated it, but I thought it incredibly tacky of his parents to separate out from the rest of us, to then have US pick up the tab for the birthday boy, and in a way, for all of us to pay the tab....oh, and we all brought gifts too....I would think that if you are throwing your son or yourself a birthday dinner, you'd pick up the tab....but, it is what it is, and he's a long time friend, so I went along at the end of the day.
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| Posted 5/17/18 9:54 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by LuckyStar
Honestly, I think it’s all in how it’s presented. A formal invitation to a party in a private room at a restaurant with a buffet dinner that costs $45 is tacky.
An informal “hey going out for drinks at xxx for my 30th, would love for you to join! There is an option for open bar ($40pp) if you like. Hope you can make it!” to me, is significantly less tacky.
ITA! If it's made to seem very casual and less like a formal hosted party, I think its fine.
As for ideas, I think Croxley Ales does that. Or what about a place down on the Nautical Mile?
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| Posted 5/17/18 10:00 AM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Re: Restaurant for 30th Birthday - Guests pay own way
Posted by MrsT809
Posted by maybebaby
so my sister AND cousin just did something similar in long beach.
I am the first to say it sounded tacky..when I saw the invite go out through FB I was like ehhhhh but what they did was have an option to buy a bracelet which provided like 3 hours of open bar and some snacks. My cousins party was at das biergarten and they had soft pretzels/wings etc. My sisters party was at speakeasy. It was $40 for a bracelet and you got 3 hours open bar, and they had out trays of sliders, philly egg rolls, mozz sticks etc.
I feel like I'm seeing this a LOT lately for 30th bday parties. IDK how I still feel, I didn't mind paying $40 for it and celebrating them BUT I can totally see how others may be offended. Guests had the option of coming to the party and not getting the bracelet and paying per drink instead.
I just had my 40th at Brixx and Barley but refused to do that. we had 18 family member at a more intimate dinner and DH paid the bill for everyone. It was perfect.
This I would be fine with. I mentioned a happy hour but I know some places put out food or do bracelets. I just didn't have any specific places. But the op mentioned $45 with out drinks! That's a totally different story imo. Having guests fund a party in a private room that costs $45 before drinks is tacky.
I think this is completely normal. Ive been to tons of parties like this. You pay for the bracelet or you just pay at the bar. I never bring a gift to these parties. They are fun. I dont see this as tacky.
Having a sit down dinner type event is different...and to me tacky.
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| Posted 5/17/18 10:03 AM |
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