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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Re: dealing with bf's kids
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Katareen
But then what happens if things don’t work out between the OP and their father? They’ll just be disappointed by yet another adult in their lives.
Good point. Though I assume they’re fairly serious if she’s spending this much time with his kids?
We were best friends for several months before we started dating, so I met his kids early on. It's hard to say how serious one could be since we've only been dating for 4 months, but I plan on being around even if we broke up b/c I'd want to remain his friend (he has several ex gf's that are still friends and hang out so I have no doubt it could be the same with me).
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Posted 6/12/19 1:33 PM  |
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Re: dealing with bf's kids
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Katareen
But then what happens if things don’t work out between the OP and their father? They’ll just be disappointed by yet another adult in their lives.
Good point. Though I assume they’re fairly serious if she’s spending this much time with his kids?
We were best friends for several months before we started dating, so I met his kids early on. It's hard to say how serious one could be since we've only been dating for 4 months, but I plan on being around even if we broke up b/c I'd want to remain his friend (he has several ex gf's that are still friends and hang out so I have no doubt it could be the same with me).
OMG. Kids are resilient. My ex dated someone for 2 years, lived with her and her kids, they broke up on Halloween, two weeks later my son met his NEW gf and her son. They've been together for almost 4.5 years now. Was that an ideal situation? No. But my son NEVER had an issue with it.
As adults we put so much on kids, kids are easy, they're simple and they follow adult's leads.
We all do our best to not f up our kids. My parents have an absolutely amazing marriage and I ended up in a terrible one. You can't tell the future. To say that these kids will 'just be disappointed by another adult in their lives' is absolutely ridiculous.
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| Posted 6/12/19 1:52 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: dealing with bf's kids
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Katareen
But then what happens if things don’t work out between the OP and their father? They’ll just be disappointed by yet another adult in their lives.
Good point. Though I assume they’re fairly serious if she’s spending this much time with his kids?
We were best friends for several months before we started dating, so I met his kids early on. It's hard to say how serious one could be since we've only been dating for 4 months, but I plan on being around even if we broke up b/c I'd want to remain his friend (he has several ex gf's that are still friends and hang out so I have no doubt it could be the same with me).
OMG. Kids are resilient. My ex dated someone for 2 years, lived with her and her kids, they broke up on Halloween, two weeks later my son met his NEW gf and her son. They've been together for almost 4.5 years now. Was that an ideal situation? No. But my son NEVER had an issue with it.
As adults we put so much on kids, kids are easy, they're simple and they follow adult's leads.
We all do our best to not f up our kids. My parents have an absolutely amazing marriage and I ended up in a terrible one. You can't tell the future. To say that these kids will 'just be disappointed by another adult in their lives' is absolutely ridiculous.
Did you read the OP?? Maybe your kid was fine, but these kids in question are clearly not resilient. They’re expressing anger, sadness, and frustration in their own ways and nobody is putting their needs first.
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| Posted 6/12/19 2:08 PM |
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Re: dealing with bf's kids
Posted by Katareen
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Katareen
But then what happens if things don’t work out between the OP and their father? They’ll just be disappointed by yet another adult in their lives.
Good point. Though I assume they’re fairly serious if she’s spending this much time with his kids?
We were best friends for several months before we started dating, so I met his kids early on. It's hard to say how serious one could be since we've only been dating for 4 months, but I plan on being around even if we broke up b/c I'd want to remain his friend (he has several ex gf's that are still friends and hang out so I have no doubt it could be the same with me).
OMG. Kids are resilient. My ex dated someone for 2 years, lived with her and her kids, they broke up on Halloween, two weeks later my son met his NEW gf and her son. They've been together for almost 4.5 years now. Was that an ideal situation? No. But my son NEVER had an issue with it.
As adults we put so much on kids, kids are easy, they're simple and they follow adult's leads.
We all do our best to not f up our kids. My parents have an absolutely amazing marriage and I ended up in a terrible one. You can't tell the future. To say that these kids will 'just be disappointed by another adult in their lives' is absolutely ridiculous.
Did you read the OP?? Maybe your kid was fine, but these kids in question are clearly not resilient. They’re expressing anger, sadness, and frustration in their own ways and nobody is putting their needs first.
I did. And I have dealt with my SO's special needs son and he has flat out said he's hated me for years at a time, hits me, etc etc. We have struggled for years.
But kids are kids, and adults are the ones to make the decisions. The kids are not allowed to dictate the adult's lives
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| Posted 6/12/19 2:39 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: dealing with bf's kids
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by Katareen
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Katareen
But then what happens if things don’t work out between the OP and their father? They’ll just be disappointed by yet another adult in their lives.
Good point. Though I assume they’re fairly serious if she’s spending this much time with his kids?
We were best friends for several months before we started dating, so I met his kids early on. It's hard to say how serious one could be since we've only been dating for 4 months, but I plan on being around even if we broke up b/c I'd want to remain his friend (he has several ex gf's that are still friends and hang out so I have no doubt it could be the same with me).
OMG. Kids are resilient. My ex dated someone for 2 years, lived with her and her kids, they broke up on Halloween, two weeks later my son met his NEW gf and her son. They've been together for almost 4.5 years now. Was that an ideal situation? No. But my son NEVER had an issue with it.
As adults we put so much on kids, kids are easy, they're simple and they follow adult's leads.
We all do our best to not f up our kids. My parents have an absolutely amazing marriage and I ended up in a terrible one. You can't tell the future. To say that these kids will 'just be disappointed by another adult in their lives' is absolutely ridiculous.
Did you read the OP?? Maybe your kid was fine, but these kids in question are clearly not resilient. They’re expressing anger, sadness, and frustration in their own ways and nobody is putting their needs first.
I did. And I have dealt with my SO's special needs son and he has flat out said he's hated me for years at a time, hits me, etc etc. We have struggled for years.
But kids are kids, and adults are the ones to make the decisions. The kids are not allowed to dictate the adult's lives
No, that's true, but being that we, the adults, chose to bring them into the world, don't you think that we have a large responsibility to put their needs above our own in general? Not all kids are resilient, not all kids bounce back. In your case, from your previous posts, it sounds like your SO's son's needs are being met by you, your SO and his ex. In the OPs case, it sounds like no one is meeting the needs of these kids and they are a HOT MESS. These are two very different circumstances in my opinion.
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| Posted 6/12/19 5:51 PM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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