What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

about your parenting?

We only see my mom about 1-2 x's a year and this last time she constantly told me how I can't "control" my children, don't discipline them, don't spend enough time with them.

Mind you my children are 13 and 7 and I think I have done pretty well with having a child with ADHD and not much family around to help.

My mother was also a "helicopter" mother and hasn't had a child to take care of for almost 20 years. She feels you need to be on top of your kids 24/7, not kidding either. She thinks I should still be washing my 13 yr. old in the shower--

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

my parents are much less judemental then my mother in law. They all question stuff alot, but know we have total control

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

My Mom is very complimentary for the most part.

My IL's don't really say much about it, but I think they think overall I am a good Mother

My Dad lives in NY and we don't see each other much...

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

My mother and I have very different parenting styles- She is much more of a harsh disciplinarian. If DS gets an attitude (not even a bad one), she threatens to spank him, wash his mouth out with soap, etc. We do not spank or put soap in anyone's mouth in my house. She is also very cold with the kids. She doesn't come out and tell me how she disagrees with my parenting, but she doesn't need to.
I can understand now why I was such a nervous, anxious child
My MIL doesn't comment at all on my parenting style.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

My IL's get suggestive about things, which makes me feel like I am not doing the right thing. They always seem to have the "we raised 4 kids" kind of comment when they want me to do something their way. They do overstep their boundaries a lot, but also watch my kids 2-3 days a week and are around then 24/7.

My parents live OOS and have never really judged me. They are always supportive and give me the respect I need and deserve as a parent.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

They don't really comment on our parenting. They know we are confident in our approach and while I don't mind suggestions they would never go further than that.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

my parents probably think i am to hard on her at times and too open (its just DD and I so we have a very open door relationship)
my inlaws...arent tech. my inlaws anymore but im sure the one side dosent think i am doing a very good job. FIL is happy with how things are!

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

I feel like sometimes my mom disagrees with some things but she really doesn't say anything to me. She is more protective of DD like not wanting her to cry and doesn't understand why I am trying to get her off the bottle right now. But thats just her being the grandma and not the mom. She respects that I am the mother. My sister actually told me that she said she thinks I am a good mother. That was the best compliment I ever got.

My mother in law doesn't really comment. She also respects that I am the mother. She does put her 2 cents in every so often but more like just giving an opinion or suggestion not in a pushy or judgmental way.

I find both my parents and in laws very supportive.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

Thanks everyone

Glad to know that I am not alone. I have to just keep telling myself that I AM a good parent because I really think I am. I am NOT a perfect parent but I have seen kids WAY worse than my own and just because they don't always listen to me (WHAT kids ALWAYS do??-lol!!) it doesn't make me a bad mom.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

If anything my mothers compliments the way we parent the boys. I will get into a fight with my dad every now and then when he sticks up for Jack when he is doing something that is clearly wrong.

My inlaws don't say anything

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

I'm sorry!

I hate judgmental people.

It's so easy to have an opinion...

My parents are great...

My in-laws compare my 1 year old's skills to the skills of his 4 year old cousin! I love his cousin... but come ON! I tell them ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

Nothing. I raise my kid, the best way I feel for my child.

My mother has told me im a bit of a hardasss with certIn things, and I am. I know my child, i know he doesnt do well with the oh no please dont do thst stuff. It works for us. Im not raising a brat, aka spirited child.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

My mother has told me she thinks I am a very good mom. I really love hearing that. There was one occasion where my grandma and MIL said I was a little hard on my kids for not giving them candy. What I had to say was they already had candy and really did not need a third extra large cookie in one day. After that my MIL said I was a good mom as she thought I was just denying them sweets. My FIL has said I am a great mom to my kids. I feel blessed to have great role models and I tried to take the best of their parenting techniques to apply them to my kids. So tell me why my son does not always listen....

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

Posted by nycgirl

I'm sorry!

I hate judgmental people.

It's so easy to have an opinion...

My parents are great...

My in-laws compare my 1 year old's skills to the skills of his 4 year old cousin! I love his cousin... but come ON! I tell them ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

DS is only two but for now both are very supportive. Always saying (and to friends too when they have company) how great we are doing with him. That he has such a great personality and is so happy and smart. So that makes me feel good. I'm lucky to have great mentor moms (siblings, friends, parents) in my life for support and advice. So far so good.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

Nothing TO ME.

I get the sense that I'm doing an ok job. If anything, they may think I'm too strict with them.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

my mom and MIL say i do a wonderful job parenting. my SMIL likes to add comments in about how she stayed home and raised her son (DH's half brother). well good for you lady!! (DS is in daycare)

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

I have no idea.

selective hearing.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

My mom thinks I'm a wonderful mother, but they say I'm too hard on DS sometimes (he's 15 months). I can be very stern with him, especially when it comes to hitting, whether he's playing or not. Other than that, she has nothing but nice things to say.

My MIL thinks I'm crazy because I don't parent like her. She's always trying to beat me down about my parenting, and now I just throw it right back in her face and tell her I'm the mother and I parent how I see fit. She is nothing but nasty and judgmental because I parent differently.

ETA: If my mother disagrees with an aspect of my parenting, she 100% respects and supports my decision. She NEVER questions it. MIL NEVER shows me any respect, which is why she is never invited over.

Message edited 9/6/2011 11:15:35 AM.

Re: What do your parents and/or inlaws say...

my parents dont say much, but are more helpful with directing me in how to care for DD since I am a first time mom.

my in-laws however, especially my mil is very quick to open her mouth about EVERYTHING!