Forgive me.....

....for saying this.

But...

Do you ever feel...

Invaded?

Or like you have no control over your own life?

Re: Forgive me.....

Very often. You are not alone

Re: Forgive me.....

yes! I have felt that way many times.

Re: Forgive me.....

I've been feeling that for sometime now. At first I was having a hard time with it but, I'm learning to take control of things better.

Re: Forgive me.....

Absolutely.
I suppose it's a part of living in step.

Re: Forgive me.....

I don't know if I'd use the word "invaded" but I think I know what you're getting at, and yes I feel that way sometimes too.

Re: Forgive me.....

yes- can not watch what i want to watch, when i want to watch it

can not talk on the phone w/100% privacy

can not plan much...

part of the terrain, though i realize it is the same with having biological children - but i feel like i can discipline my biochild more than i can my step..

Re: Forgive me.....

Re: Forgive me.....

I think I felt it more so in the beginning when we were dating, absolutely... but I got used to it by now....

Re: Forgive me.....

Re: Forgive me.....

I can understand that...we had the same thing with SD...is she coming? is she not coming? sometimes we wouldn't get that call until 2:30pm on Saturday afternoon...it was very frustrating b/c you put your day on hold...but eventually I started telling DH that I was going to continue with my day and he would have to wait for the call.

Re: Forgive me.....

Re: Forgive me.....

Posted by imthecindyofcindyandkevin

Posted by hbugal

Posted by lipglossjunky73

I think I felt it more so in the beginning when we were dating, absolutely... but I got used to it by now....

Are you on a schedule? Or have a routine? I think if we did I wouldnt tend to feel this way....

We never know if we are coming or going. Are they going to be here or not...

I agree with Liza, it was def harder in the beginning while I was figuring out this new family dynamic and establishing what role I would play as the step-mom.

We have a schedule where we see DD every weekend unless something comes up where she should stay with her mom; like last weekend she stayed for Mother's Day. For any deviation from the routine we pretty much keep in contact with each other either by phone or email, and with advanced notice unless there's an unforseeable emergency of course. Our situation is really pretty good and I think it stems from the fact that each party is respectful of the other and that we've all got DD's best interests at heart.

There are times when it gets frustrating, like with the holidays. Normally we have DD every other year but sometimes it changes like if "so and so" will be here. Like I said, as long as it's known beforehand it's not so bad; I just get annoyed when it's the last minute and we still don't know what's going on. Now that she's getting older sometimes we let her decide where she wants to be, but once she makes her choice she can't flip back and forth.

Having a schedule def helps, but just like having biological children, sometimes you plan and God laughs!!

Re: Forgive me.....