Crashing for advise on how to handle a situation

Hi Ladies,

First off - lots of to you all for all that you've been through with your losses.

So we found out the other day that DH cousin is preg - we havent called to say congrats yet cause we are still in hiding and wanted to wait another week or two before we came out. Then we got the devestating news today that she lost the baby. I am so sad for them b/c the have been trying as long as we have and also had lots of trouble - they had pretty much given up so the bfp was a huge surprise.

Now i dont know how to go about breaking the news to her that im preg. If i call her to comfort her on her loss - i wouldnt want to mention it then but do i call her again in a week or two or just let her hear it through the family (she didnt call us about her pg just announced it through the family)

I just dont want our preg to cause her pain and am trying to be as sensitive to her feelings as i can but just unsure of what she is going through since i havent been there myself.

Thanks for reading this girls and for any advise.

Re: Crashing for advise on how to handle a situation

I just want to say how incredibly thoughtful you are to care so much.

With that said, there is no easy way to do it. When were you planning on coming out? I'd just wait until you are ready and let her hear it through the grape vine.

Re: Crashing for advise on how to handle a situation

Re: Crashing for advise on how to handle a situation

I personally think you should call her yourself when you decide to come out. Are you pretty close??

I'd just say that you are so sorry for what she is going through, but you wanted to tell her yourself.

My best friend told me she was pg when I was going through everyhting and I loved that she called me herself and cared about what I was going through enough to tell me gently. I would never begrudge her the happiness of being pregnant, and I don't think you should hide any of your excitement. No one should have to suffer a loss...

The trick for someone going through a loss is being able to be happy for others even while feeling sorry for yourself. As long as you understand she may not be as excited and involved as you'd like...