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WWYD re: babysitting sitch
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TTCwithHope
LIF Infant
Member since 4/10 297 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: WWYD re: babysitting sitch
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Message edited 6/1/2020 4:36:14 PM.
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Posted 11/2/19 5:53 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: WWYD re: babysitting sitch
Posted by Mrs213
If I were your friend I would assume you would be paying her airfare since she is your stepdaughter. Although I wouldn’t say anything if asked to chip in and would gladly help out if she were watching me kids. But then is it payment in addition to covering her airfare? It’s going to be expensive. Is every parent paying her to babysit for the wedding? 8 think you need to have clear discussion with everyone involved before doing anything so everyone is on the same page. I think helicopter parent is making it weird and more costly for everyone involved lol
I'd think it would have to be payment to SD in addition to airfare bc otherwise SD wouldn't be getting anything out of it since she didn't want to go anyway when her own family was covering her expenses. And OP shouldn't have to cover her SD's airfare since SD didn't want to go as part of a family trip and OP had made her peace with using hotel babysitter. The helicopter friend should pay airfare since she's the one complicating things. Also, OP will incur extra expenses anyway if SD goes to babysit since she'll probably have to cover her SD's food and other expenses for the weekend that SD will be there. And SD wouldn't be staying for the whole family vacation so why should OP pay airfare. I think SD should stay home and helicopter mom should figure it out herself.
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| Posted 11/3/19 8:59 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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WWYD re: babysitting sitch
Have you verified with the hotel if there even is a babysitter available? Bc if SD is the only option I think an even $$ split is fair.
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| Posted 11/3/19 10:04 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: babysitting sitch
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by LuckyStar
I think your SD is basically extorting you guys. I don’t know where this wedding is, but it would appear she’d be getting a free trip in exchange for watching some kids for a few hours. I can’t really imagine paying her a large sum of money on top of the free trip.
But since your friends will I guess I don’t really blame her. I’d broach the subject of splitting the airfare and see what they say. Helicopter mom should definitely be putting her hand in her pocket. Who is paying for her meals and activities?
Don't all kids extort us 
I don't agree with this at all. OP stated that SD already opted out of this trip, because she didn't want to go. So OP's daughter is doing them a favor by going. So she should be compensated very well,,,after all, they can get a babysitter, they just feel more comfortable with the SD. But as for who should pay the airfare, IDK. I feel OP should because it is her kid, but on the other hand, it's helicopter mom being the PIA, so maybe she should.
NAILED IT!! Such a PIA!!! But she's one of my BFF so that's my cross to bare. LOL
And I cracked up at the extortion comment because I never thought of it like that, but that is exactly what she does! This kid knows that my friends and I are most comfortable with her babysitting and she really is a very responsible babysitter so we always try to get her and she makes a killing every time!! But good for her! We are definitely suckers! LOL
To answer some of the questions...I"m not sure what the cost of the airfare is yet. Probably between $300-$400. She has agreed to fly down Saturday but wants to go home Sunday. She has an internship and doesn't want to be taking unnecessary time off. DH and I would definitely cover any food related expenses for her. I have not confirmed if the hotel has babysitting but the truth is I'm happy she is willing to come. I'm benefitting from helicopter mom's psychoses. We all are. LOL As far as the babysitting goes, I'm sure we will split the cost evenly.
Thanks for all of your responses. I appreciate the varying perspectives. I have to figure this out.
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| Posted 11/4/19 11:32 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: babysitting sitch
Posted by Mrs213
If I were your friend I would assume you would be paying her airfare since she is your stepdaughter. Although I wouldn’t say anything if asked to chip in and would gladly help out if she were watching me kids. But then is it payment in addition to covering her airfare? It’s going to be expensive. Is every parent paying her to babysit for the wedding? 8 think you need to have clear discussion with everyone involved before doing anything so everyone is on the same page. I think helicopter parent is making it weird and more costly for everyone involved lol
Yep! Pretty much!
What we did the last time she watched all the kids was we each paid her $10/hour so she made $40/hour. I would think we are going to do the same this time too. So I would figure, in total per person, the babysitting will be about $60-$70/family which is pretty cheap really. If the airfare is $400 and we split it, it's $100 per family additional which is expensive for a night out but then I feel like we are paying for the reassurance of having a responsible babysitter known to us.
I also think part of the problem for helicopter mom is that her kids will likely WIG OUT if they were with a babysitter they don't know from the hotel. And her kids are not the type to just get over it. They would probably escape, find the wedding and haunt her all night. No joke. To put this in context, I envision Will Ferrell's character from Wedding Crashers when I think of them grown up. "Mom! The Meatloaf!"
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| Posted 11/4/19 7:26 PM |
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Re: WWYD re: babysitting sitch
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by LuckyStar
I think your SD is basically extorting you guys. I don’t know where this wedding is, but it would appear she’d be getting a free trip in exchange for watching some kids for a few hours. I can’t really imagine paying her a large sum of money on top of the free trip.
But since your friends will I guess I don’t really blame her. I’d broach the subject of splitting the airfare and see what they say. Helicopter mom should definitely be putting her hand in her pocket. Who is paying for her meals and activities?
Don't all kids extort us
I don't agree with this at all. OP stated that SD already opted out of this trip, because she didn't want to go. So OP's daughter is doing them a favor by going. So she should be compensated very well,,,after all, they can get a babysitter, they just feel more comfortable with the SD. But as for who should pay the airfare, IDK. I feel OP should because it is her kid, but on the other hand, it's helicopter mom being the PIA, so maybe she should.
Yeah, I was half joking. I’d have been all over that in college.
I was kidding too 
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| Posted 11/4/19 2:48 PM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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