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OMGBFP
LIF Infant
Member since 1/08 217 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 4/20/2008 2:32:50 PM.
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Posted 1/14/08 1:15 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
that's a personal choice. I mean are you going to tell everyone else now or wait until 12 weeks? I would think if they heard it from someone else, they'd be rather hurt.
I have a friend who has had trouble ttc and she was actually the very first person i told, even before my husband! 
If they are as good as a friend as my friend is, they'll be extremely happy for you. Is it hard for them... absolutely. My friend told me that she hopes that i never have to go through what they're going through (when she knew we were trying). She would never wish it on anyone. I'm sure your friends will be very happy for you!!!!
It would definitely hurt them more if they heard it from someone else before you told them though! 
Message edited 1/14/2008 1:42:39 PM.
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| Posted 1/14/08 1:40 PM |
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babydreaming
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1130 total posts
Name:
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
When DH & I got our BFP, our immediate thought was about his cousin and wife and then a good friend of mine. His cousin & his wife were trying for over 8 years with no success and so many miscarriages. My friend and his wife were trying for a few years and going through invitro. My DH at the time said - God will help us tell them.
When we were about 8 weeks along, we had a family BBQ. We hadn't told anyone in the family. When DH's cousin & wife came over, they told us they were 14 weeks pregnant. They weren't getting their hopes up. We decided not to tell them till we were 12 weeks but we were so relieved. The happy ending was that they delivered a baby boy a week ago!
I told my good friend when I was about 9 weeks. He is one of best friends and I couldn't keep it to myself. He was very happy for us and asked me to send some pregnancy wishes his way cause he and his wife were on their last cycle. He and his wife became pregnant this time and they are due in June. She has had a rough prgnancy and has been on bed rest. What I can tell you is he calls me 2X a week to see how I am doing.
I know these are both best case scenerios. When I talked to my friend he said he would never have wanted me to hold out on him. Yes - he was a bit sad for himself but he was overwhelmingly happy for us. What I would say is trust in your family to be happy for you. Its hard but they would never want anyone to go through what they may be experiencing.
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| Posted 1/14/08 3:29 PM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
I honestly don't know. I am in the same boat. my brother's wife just found out last Friday that she is in early menopause (they married in Sept. and wanted to start). I don't have the heart to tell them.  I think I am just going to wait until about 10 weeks.
If you are telling everyone at 8 weeks then tell them too but if you are only telling immediate first then I think it could wait. I hope they get their BFPs   
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| Posted 1/14/08 3:56 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
Be upfront and tell them at the same time you would tell everyone else because their hearts will break if they hear it from someone else.
But, at the same time, be forgiving of their reaction if it's not quite what you hope for...
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| Posted 1/14/08 4:52 PM |
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04bride
I'm a big sister!!!
Member since 5/05 6707 total posts
Name:
Noel
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
i had the same problem one of my friends had two miscarrages in 6 months one in july and i found out in august i was preggo with number 2. My second ina very short time. i told her on email not in person bc i felt so badly
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| Posted 1/14/08 5:04 PM |
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2kids2cats
My babies
Member since 6/05 5229 total posts
Name:
f
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
Personal choice. A good friend of mine has been trying for a long time and I decided not to tell her until 12 weeks. She suspected it, and I denied it, and later told her and said it wasn't personal, that I was just nervous and wanted to wait until 12 weeks.
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| Posted 1/14/08 5:10 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
Posted by Bxgell2
Be upfront and tell them at the same time you would tell everyone else because their hearts will break if they hear it from someone else.
But, at the same time, be forgiving of their reaction if it's not quite what you hope for...
I agree. Tell them the same time you tell other people. I had the same situation with my best friend of over 20 years and when I initially told her, of course she was happy for me. The phone calls tapered off a bit for the first month or so after I told her (I think she needed time to adjust and did not want to speak to me unless she could tuly express her happiness for me) and I understood and backed off. I basically would still call her, but be careful not to really go on about my pregnancy and especially not complain about ANYTHING, EVER!
She finally came around and now we speak about it all the time, but I try as hard as i can not to be insensitive to her situation. I couldn't even imagine how hard it is to be happy and joyful for me in her situation, but she truly is.
Good luck!
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| Posted 1/14/08 5:10 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
Posted by Bxgell2
Be upfront and tell them at the same time you would tell everyone else because their hearts will break if they hear it from someone else.
But, at the same time, be forgiving of their reaction if it's not quite what you hope for...
As someone who is dealing with IF, while it's nice that people want to be sensitive to our feelings, I don't want anyone feeling like they need to walk around on eggshells around me (in my personal case, it makes me feel worse when people do that). Tell them when you tell everyone else, but like Beth said, try to be forgiving and don't take it personally if their reaction is not what you hope for.
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| Posted 1/14/08 6:40 PM |
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sasha96
lovin' my 2 little ladies!
Member since 5/05 7401 total posts
Name:
Julianne
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
I agree, it's best to tell them when you tell everyone else. I think it would hurt their feelings if you kept it from them. At the same time, I would plan to keep the news brief and not overly excited, though you may be feeling so excited. Their reactions can really vary and they may wish to keep the conversation short for now. As friends, they'll be in touch soon as they may need to adjust to the news.
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| Posted 1/14/08 6:55 PM |
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CalendarGirl16
Alyssa's Mommy!!!
Member since 7/07 1138 total posts
Name:
Tiffany
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
I would definitly tell them when you tell everyone else
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| Posted 1/14/08 7:14 PM |
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LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
As someone who has issues TTC, I can honestly say that it was tough hearing about other people's bfp's (my bff got pg when we first found out we had issues), but I was happy for each and every bfp regardless.
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| Posted 1/14/08 7:22 PM |
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JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
We have someone in the family who had a miscarriage just a month before we got the BFP.
I told the husband (who I am closer to -though I love them both dearly) over the phone a few weeks before we told everyone else. It gave them time to absorb it. I was careful not to make a huge announcement at a big family gathering.
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| Posted 1/14/08 8:43 PM |
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ckone
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Telling people who are having trouble TTC... WWYD?
One of my best friends has been TTC for six months now. She calls me every month to tell me that she got a BFN. I feel so horrible. I'm 8 months pregnant and we talk all of the time. I constantly tell her to let me know if I'm annoying by taking about how I feel and stuff. She's been great and a wonderful support system. We are so close that she says that she's happy that she can go through this with me and wouldn't every want me to feel bad. I know her and know that she's sincere. Do I feel that I could feel as comfortable with someone else - maybe not.
I do know that she has gotten calls in the past couple of months from other people saying that they were pregnant and it upset her. If you are really friends I don't know how you could keep the news from them. I would say that it's all about the delivery (how you tell them). I would definately wait until you are in the second trimestetr though. I don't think that they will have ill feeling towards you.
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| Posted 1/14/08 8:55 PM |
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