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Message edited 8/12/2010 11:09:30 PM.
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Posted 7/30/10 10:20 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: I need some support
not sure what you are asking for, but it's clear you are conflicted.
here are many many  
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:25 AM |
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dnj925
I couldnt love him more !!!
Member since 1/09 1332 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: I need some support
I dont know what to say but i am sorry that you are going through this.
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:26 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:28 AM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I need some support
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:28 AM |
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Deeluvsvinny
DONE
Member since 10/08 4952 total posts
Name:
Whatever
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Re: I need some support
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:30 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: I need some support
Everything will work out.
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:33 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support
Sometimes blessings come to us at unexpected times, in unexpected ways.
Good luck!!!
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:34 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support
you need to think about the long term and if you can honestly care for, provide for another LO. You need to do what is right for you and your family. I cannot imagine being in this situation but you need to make a grown up decision here.  
lots of for you.
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:35 AM |
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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support
Sorry to crash......
First off I want to say I'm sorry you're going through this, this has to be so tough on you. Many Hugs to you.
But, if the condom broke, and the morning after pill failed you are meant to have this child, someone somewhere wants you to have this baby.
I wish you luck and my heart goes out to you during this difficult time
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:35 AM |
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BethanyLynn
Love these munchkins
Member since 10/09 6295 total posts
Name:
Bethany
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Re: I need some support
Wow. I cant imagine. I hope you decide whatever is best for you and your family. Many many hugs! We are here for you no matter what you decide!
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:39 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: I need some support
I support your right to make the choice that suits your family
I wish you peace and healing during this time, whatever you decide
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:39 AM |
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LoveMySMT09
<3mySMT.AJT
Member since 1/09 2623 total posts
Name:
VT
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Re: I need some support
I was in a similar situation
I was dating my DH at the time. I was told that I'd probably never have children due to medical issues (multiple autoimmune issues, along with some congenital heart issues) and later came to find out that I have a blood clotting disorder which makes carrying a baby full-term even tougher. That tore me apart. SO -- DH and I werent always VERY careful
I got my BFP on my 25th birthday. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. I was dating a man that I knew I loved, but I didnt know if we'd end up married. I didnt know how my family would react (I was 25, he was 41). He had an ex-fiance and an 11 year old son in the mix. Really a tough situation.
BUT I knew that I wanted children SOMEDAY. The one thing that I was sure of was that I NEEDED to be a mommy. So -- my Sophia was NOT a mistake, she was a miracle. I know others don't see it that way, including some members of my family/friends. But I don't care what anyone else thinks. We got engaged last April, married in June. My precious, beautiful, perfect MIRACLE girl was born in Sept. She's now 10 months old and I can't imagine my world without her. She was a gift. Not a mistake, not an "oops".
My point is -- no time is perfect. People say they're waiting for the "right time" to buy a house/get married/have children. While I agree that there are definitely WRONG times (teenage moms, etc) - there is defintely no "right" time. I am pro-choice but being that I knew I wanted children "someday" - I realized that "someday" was NOW.
Anyway -- sending I know you feel torn and conflicted. Take a little bit of time to think things through. Imagine your life both ways. Make a pros/cons list. Either way you have to do what is right for you and your family.
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:45 AM |
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jam11308
Member since 11/07 7273 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:45 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support
Posted by sweetsurprise09
I was in a similar situation
I was dating my DH at the time. I was told that I'd probably never have children due to medical issues (multiple autoimmune issues, along with some congenital heart issues) and later came to find out that I have a blood clotting disorder which makes carrying a baby full-term even tougher. That tore me apart. SO -- DH and I werent always VERY careful
I got my BFP on my 25th birthday. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. I was dating a man that I knew I loved, but I didnt know if we'd end up married. I didnt know how my family would react (I was 25, he was 41). He had an ex-fiance and an 11 year old son in the mix. Really a tough situation.
BUT I knew that I wanted children SOMEDAY. The one thing that I was sure of was that I NEEDED to be a mommy. So -- my Sophia was NOT a mistake, she was a miracle. I know others don't see it that way, including some members of my family/friends. But I don't care what anyone else thinks. We got engaged last April, married in June. My precious, beautiful, perfect MIRACLE girl was born in Sept. She's now 10 months old and I can't imagine my world without her. She was a gift. Not a mistake, not an "oops".
My point is -- no time is perfect. People say they're waiting for the "right time" to buy a house/get married/have children. While I agree that there are definitely WRONG times (teenage moms, etc) - there is defintely no "right" time. I am pro-choice but being that I knew I wanted children "someday" - I realized that "someday" was NOW.
Anyway -- sending I know you feel torn and conflicted. Take a little bit of time to think things through. Imagine your life both ways. Make a pros/cons list. Either way you have to do what is right for you and your family.
this made me  
to the OP - i hope you find peace with whatever you decide.
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:48 AM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: I need some support
I am so sorry that you are going through this difficult time.
I will share my experience with you, even though it is not exactly the same.
I got pregnant with DD when DS was about 18 months. At the time, DH and I weren't even 100% sure we wanted to have #2. We weren't sure if or when it would happen. We had talked about if we decided to go for it, we would most likely wait until DS was around 2.
Well, we weren't very careful and I ended up with a very shocking BFP. Was I completely convinced that I was ready to have #2? No. Was I completely convinced I could even handle having #2? No. Was I unsure about so many things at that point? You bet.
But, let me tell you that the second DD was born, all of that uncertainty, all of that doubt magically went away. When we look at DD and see her smile back at us, we know that this was supposed to happen.
I truly look at DD as someone who was meant to be. She was meant to be my DD. I was meant to be her mother. She came at a time when I didn't think I was ready, wasn't sure. But she came into this world anyway and took away all my doubts. And every time I look at her, she makes me melt and I cannot imagine my life without her.
I don't know what you and DH will decide. But I can say that from my experience, there will never be a perfect time to have another child. Maybe this is meant to be for you.
Whatever you and DH decide to do, I hope you are both comfortable with your decision.
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:49 AM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support
I'm not sure if you're already decided on what to do, but I just wanted to say that maybe this was meant to be. You know the saying, We plan and God laughs?
You are on the pill, condom broke, morning after pill didn't work.
Maybe just maybe someone is trying to give you a little miracle.
I hope you don't think I'm trying to make you feel bad, not my intention. Just want to put it out there like a couple of other PPs said.
Lots of luck with your decision!
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| Posted 7/30/10 10:57 AM |
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Kaitlyn747
LIF Toddler
Member since 6/10 399 total posts
Name:
Kaitlyn
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Re: I need some support
Heres the thing.
I was a BIG, HUGE mistake  Was NOT supposed to happen at all.
My mom even looked into going to Mexico because abortion was Illegal back then. But here am I am, loved and wanted!
I am 100% pro choice. I think a woman has the right to do with her body what SHE wants to do. Period. Always, and Whenever. Period.
So, it sounds like you are looking for support to end the pregnancy. No one here can tell you what to do. I personally dont believe in the "you were meant to have the baby" thing.
And yes, mistakes DO happen.
I think you have to look at your life and if you can handle a baby right now. Every thing you wrote was really leaning toward ending the pregnancy. I think you should do what you think is right for you, your carrer and your family. If you are ready and willing go for it. If its just bad timing and not in the cards, end it.
Will you regret it? My guess is that you will be sad...but will you regret HAVING the baby and changing your life in a way you are not ready for?
Hard things to balance. I think you know what you want to do already. Whatever it is, its the RIGHT decision.
Big hugs.
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:03 AM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: I need some support
Posted by Ayne11
Sorry to crash......
First off I want to say I'm sorry you're going through this, this has to be so tough on you. Many Hugs to you.
But, if the condom broke, and the morning after pill failed you are meant to have this child, someone somewhere wants you to have this baby.
I wish you luck and my heart goes out to you during this difficult time
ITA with this, word for word! Many many as I know this must be so difficult for you! So sorry you have to go through this!
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:08 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: I need some support
Posted by mamakap
you need to think about the long term and if you can honestly care for, provide for another LO. You need to do what is right for you and your family. I cannot imagine being in this situation but you need to make a grown up decision here.
lots of for you.
On the flip side, you need to look at the long term and think about how you will feel about terminating this pregnancy when you hope/plan to have another eventually.
Terminating is not the only grown up decision here (not that you are saying it is). Sometimes, the grown up decision is accepting the unexpected and making it work.
I would also think hard about your DH's feelings. Since you say he is against abortions except in extreme circumstances, I would be hesitant to make a decision that he is not 100% on board with (don't let him leave it up to you, that's too much responsibility).
In any case, I wish you lots of I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you.
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:10 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: I need some support
its def not an easy choice, but you need to do whats best for everyone in your family. We're all here for you with whatever you choose
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:11 AM |
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bluekat16
My boys :-)
Member since 3/09 6659 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: I need some support
Just sending you many hugs and oprayers. My only word of advice is do what you think it right in your heart of hearts. Only you and your DH truly kno what's right for you.
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:12 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I need some support
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:12 AM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: I need some support
I've never been in your shoes, so I can't offer advice. I can share my BFFs story.
Her DD is now 13 going on 14. She's a single mom as her ex is a total POS. Her current boyfriend has 3 kids w/ his ex and pays a TON of child support.
A year, maybe two now I don't remember, she found herself in the same position. She always wanted a second child. She knew based on her age it was basically her last chance. She weighed the pros, the cons, the finances, the situation w/ the boyfriend, her ex, etc. She knew that terminating meant making peace with the decision to only have one child for the rest of her life.
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:23 AM |
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Re: I need some support
Posted by Ayne11
Sorry to crash......
First off I want to say I'm sorry you're going through this, this has to be so tough on you. Many Hugs to you.
But, if the condom broke, and the morning after pill failed you are meant to have this child, someone somewhere wants you to have this baby.
I wish you luck and my heart goes out to you during this difficult time
I agree. i know this may not feel like it now - but I say this is an amazing gift. I only got pregnant by accident one time, and I have never been blessed with that again, unfortunately.
God only gives us what we can handle
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:30 AM |
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