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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Hang in there. If you know that your mind is made up, i would go to the dr immediately. Dont beat yourself up over it, im sure your a great mom, you did everything you could do to prevent it, and it happened.
Ive been in your situation many  its not easy.
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Posted 7/30/10 3:11 PM  |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
It's not anyone's place to try to urge or encourage the OP to reconsider, or to give the myriad of reasons why others believe this baby was "meant to be"; I find it particularly cruel given it is clear she has made her decision, a tremendously difficult one at that, and is reaching out for some support as a result.
To the OP - I am just so incredibly sorry you have found yourself in this position and having to make one of the most difficult decisions of your life; no matter what that decision will be, unfortunately there will be ramifications for each. My heart goes out to you
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| Posted 7/30/10 3:41 PM |
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bayla
Love my two kiddos :)
Member since 8/06 7178 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
it's not an easy decision but you and your DH do what's right for you
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| Posted 7/30/10 3:58 PM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Posted by Ophelia
if this update was for you, to help sort through your feelings, I am glad you have this place as an outlet to sort things out.
but please do not feel you owe anyone an explanation (except your husband) into your thought process here. b/c you don't.
there are a lot of unhappy children born of parents who never really wanted them.
and there are a lot of happy children born of parents who were surprised but eventually came to accept and then to rejoice.
you are the ONLY person who knows which one of these people you could be.
I wish you much strength in making this decision. it sounds like both you and your husband have A LOT to think and talk about.
I agree completely. Only you and your husband know if this is the right thing for you. Good luck
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| Posted 7/30/10 4:13 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Just for the record, I don't think you sound cold at all. I think you sound scared and freaked out- exeactly how I would feel in your situation. Like previous posters have said, you do not owe anyone here an explanation for your decision. You were not irresponsible in getting pregnant, it happened against all odds. And now here you are. You need to do what is best for you and your family. Whataver that may be. Period. End of story.
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| Posted 7/30/10 4:41 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Posted by Bxgell2
It's not anyone's place to try to urge or encourage the OP to reconsider, or to give the myriad of reasons why others believe this baby was "meant to be"; I find it particularly cruel given it is clear she has made her decision, a tremendously difficult one at that, and is reaching out for some support as a result.
To the OP - I am just so incredibly sorry you have found yourself in this position and having to make one of the most difficult decisions of your life; no matter what that decision will be, unfortunately there will be ramifications for each. My heart goes out to you
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Message edited 7/30/2010 4:43:57 PM.
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| Posted 7/30/10 4:43 PM |
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sweetie101
you make me smile :o)
Member since 5/08 4419 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
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| Posted 7/30/10 5:07 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
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| Posted 7/30/10 5:14 PM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Posted by Bxgell2
It's not anyone's place to try to urge or encourage the OP to reconsider, or to give the myriad of reasons why others believe this baby was "meant to be"; I find it particularly cruel given it is clear she has made her decision, a tremendously difficult one at that, and is reaching out for some support as a result.
To the OP - I am just so incredibly sorry you have found yourself in this position and having to make one of the most difficult decisions of your life; no matter what that decision will be, unfortunately there will be ramifications for each. My heart goes out to you
I honestly wasn't sure if she was set on her decision when she first posted. After the update it seems like she made a decision, but still seems so conflicted. My heart really does go out to the OP
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| Posted 7/30/10 5:30 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
I am not quite sure what you will decide to do.
Nobody is in YOUR shoes! And even if some of us have similar stories, we are still not you and how YOU feel about it.
I know you mentioned maybe another child in a few years.
You do need to know about the risk of abortion and possible infertility later on. Only you and your DH with your Dr can have this conversation.
But I want to tell you a "success" story about deciding to abort and having kids later on.
My sister and I are only 15 months apart. 1.5 year after my sister was born (she was a premature baby!) my mom gave birth to another premature baby boy who died a few days later. Well, she got PG again shortly after. My mom had an abortion when it was still illegal in the 70's. She was conflicted! She was lost! She was scared! It was not planned! Her Dr. told her to have the abortion. She was not ready emotionaly and physically to have this child. And she did abort! She was conflicted for years still knowing it was the right decision.
But 8 years later, my younger sister was born and later my baby brother.
Message edited 7/30/2010 5:48:57 PM.
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| Posted 7/30/10 5:48 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Posted by smdl
I am not quite sure what you will decide to do.
Nobody is in YOUR shoes! And even if some of us have similar stories, we are still not you and how YOU feel about it.
I know you mentioned maybe another child in a few years.
You do need to know about the risk of abortion and possible infertility later on. Only you and your DH with your Dr can have this conversation.
But I want to tell you a "success" story about deciding to abort and having kids later on.
My sister and I are only 15 months apart. 1.5 year after my sister was born (she was a premature baby!) my mom gave birth to another premature baby boy who died a few days later. Well, she got PG again shortly after. My mom had an abortion when it was still illegal in the 70's. She was conflicted! She was lost! She was scared! It was not planned! Her Dr. told her to have the abortion. She was not ready emotionaly and physically to have this child. And she did abort! She was conflicted for years still knowing it was the right decision.
But 8 years later, my younger sister was born and later my baby brother.
Nice story
.
To the OP. In light of your health issue I would do the same thing in a minute with no regrets. I LOVe being a Mom. Your first DD needs you. ( Not that it matters what I think)
I recently had an unwanted pregnancy myself. I was already an IF patient to have my children. So when it happened on its own I thought it was meant to be and that I should be thrilled, but I WASN'T. Like you I wanted to wait until a better time. In fact I got sick over it. I cried and cried until my husband changed his tune and then convinced me that this was a good thing. I decided I wanted the baby. Well nature played another nasty trick on me and I started to bleed. After lots of suffering, I lost it. I cried too. I thought how ridiculous, I did not even want this baby. Why am a telling this story, who knows? LOL Well for one thing, I do not believe that pregnancies are "meant to be" or "not meant to be" Its just what is.
I was devastated and thought I would never get over it, but I have. And actually I have chosen not to try for another until I am good and ready. So no regrets here ( not that I had a choice) I love being a mom but I am content right now. I lost that pregnancy more than a year ago, but the pain subsided. Yours will too. I am sorry that you have to go through this.
Message edited 7/30/2010 9:54:49 PM.
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| Posted 7/30/10 9:00 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
All I have is because I think that this is completely up to you. It's not easy...no matter what you decide...if it were easy you wouldn't be here asking for support.
So...for what it's worth...you have my support. No questions asked - no judgements passed. It's yours for the taking.
Message edited 7/30/2010 9:11:20 PM.
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| Posted 7/30/10 9:10 PM |
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Bri
I Love You to Pieces!
Member since 5/05 9919 total posts
Name:
Brianne
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
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| Posted 7/30/10 9:16 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Posted by LoveyQ
Posted by Bxgell2
It's not anyone's place to try to urge or encourage the OP to reconsider, or to give the myriad of reasons why others believe this baby was "meant to be"; I find it particularly cruel given it is clear she has made her decision, a tremendously difficult one at that, and is reaching out for some support as a result.
To the OP - I am just so incredibly sorry you have found yourself in this position and having to make one of the most difficult decisions of your life; no matter what that decision will be, unfortunately there will be ramifications for each. My heart goes out to you
I honestly wasn't sure if she was set on her decision when she first posted. After the update it seems like she made a decision, but still seems so conflicted. My heart really does go out to the OP
I agree, I definitely did not get the impression that she had made up her mind
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| Posted 7/30/10 9:47 PM |
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Posted by Ayne11
Sorry to crash......
First off I want to say I'm sorry you're going through this, this has to be so tough on you. Many Hugs to you.
But, if the condom broke, and the morning after pill failed you are meant to have this child, someone somewhere wants you to have this baby.
I wish you luck and my heart goes out to you during this difficult time
ITA.
I am really starting to believe that when we plan, God laughs.
It sounds like you are deeply conflicted. Many you find a way to make a decision that you can stomach! If you have the baby, I am sure it will be hard, but we find ways to survive and make things work!
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| Posted 7/30/10 9:57 PM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
So sorry you are going through all this right now! My heart goes out to you to hear you are so conflicted! Sometimes blessings happens at unexpected times and since you crossed your t's and dotted your i's maybe you are meant to have this baby. I wish you the best of luck to make the right and best decision for you and your family! I will be thinking and praying for you!
Message edited 7/30/2010 11:30:04 PM.
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:24 PM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Posted by Ang-Rich
All I have is because I think that this is completely up to you. It's not easy...no matter what you decide...if it were easy you wouldn't be here asking for support.
So...for what it's worth...you have my support. No questions asked - no judgements passed. It's yours for the taking.
ITA!!!
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:31 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support w/an ***update***
Posted by Bxgell2
It's not anyone's place to try to urge or encourage the OP to reconsider, or to give the myriad of reasons why others believe this baby was "meant to be"; I find it particularly cruel given it is clear she has made her decision, a tremendously difficult one at that, and is reaching out for some support as a result.
To the OP - I am just so incredibly sorry you have found yourself in this position and having to make one of the most difficult decisions of your life; no matter what that decision will be, unfortunately there will be ramifications for each. My heart goes out to you
I agree.
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| Posted 7/30/10 11:34 PM |
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Re: I need some support w/an ***THIRD ***
***3rd update**
I've been on a crazy train of emotions.
One minute I'm okay, the next I'm not.
I still can't believe I could be pregnant.
I went for bloodwork yesterday and wll get results on Monday,
BUT...
****I just took a test this morning, with morning urine, and it came out NEGATIVE??******
I know I shouldn't keep taking tests to drive myself nuts, but *** is going on????
The first 2 digital tests I took both said PREGNANT the other night. Then I took a line test and it came up negative, but with a second line that wasn't as dark, but definitely there. Then I had another line test and the line was lighter....and the last took I just took (this morning) the positive line was in the background, super super super light.
My periods are always notoriously late, but it's due any day.
Do you think perhaps the morning after pill screwed something up, and maybe I will get my period after all?
I keep searching the web, but there are tons of screwy different posts and research and everyone says something different.
I'm not on any meds that would lead to a false positive. I'm obviously not an IVF patient. So, what is going on?
I keep getting cramping and stuff, and lower back pain, but I had that before when I was pregnant the first time.
****UPDATE
thank u all for your responses and FMs.
I realize no one ever regrets having their child after having it, but yes, I admit I do look at my 3 year old and often wish my miracle could have come later, not that I regret things, but I'm one of those people that likes to feel settled before undertaking a huge change.
My surgery might result in finding out I have a very treatable cancer. I had put off the surgery for a long time, and it has been weighing on my mind heavily and I have to get it done NOW. No more waiting.
I feel badly for people who try so hard to have kids and it always seems like those who aren't planning for one have them so easily.
I will admit that DH and I had talked before that perhaps our toddler is our last. I never felt like the best mom or that i was cut out for this parenting thing, but I seem to do well. I try hard, to say the least.
When I saw the +, I literally banged my head on the wall so hard I got a headache. I wanted to die.
The last time I got my surprise +, I cried but slowly came around and warmed up to it. I will admit that is not happening now.
Mentally, I don't feel ready at all for another. Or physically, with my health issue. Emotionally, I feel I would lose it.
When I married DH, I was 5 months along. We made it work and adapted, but it's not easy. We work crazy hours, opposite schedules, insanely stressful jobs etc. We barely have time for our marriage, let alone parenting.
I feel horrible and I know a lot of people are pro-life. I'm not pro-death, but I don't know if I can handle this. I barely hold it together as it is with my current life.
I'm not religious, so it's not like I can run to a church or something and pray.
To rely on Plan B the morning afterpill, and trust that it's 98% effective and have it fail is hard to swallow.
I realized today that termination - the thought of it, is so incredibly hard. I never thought it was easy, but I never thought it would be this hard.
I never thought I'd be in this situation. I must be the most fertile person alive -- I got pregnant on the pill the first time, and since, DH uses condoms AND the pill. And now the one time he doesn't, plan B fails.
I don't get why the universe thinks I should have more children, when I barely am a good mom to begin with.
I'm sorry if I come off as cold. I'm not. I'm still in shock and just want to hide.
I received a BFP last night.
We had unprotected sex, as the condom broke, after I was off of the pill for a few days (didn't take the white pills as they cause me to be sick to my stomach when I have my period) and I took morning after pill next morning.
It failed.
We weren't planning on having another until 3 years.
We are in process of buying a home, I got a promotion at work, my handles are full with our toddler now, and I have a surgery set for next month, our schedules are insane, and I barely see DC enough as it is. We had on surprise before..and I'm glad, but I am nowhere near ready to have another surprise right now.
I know I cannot have this at this time, and am pro-choice, but so upset that I have to go through this.
I've been crying off and on since last night.
I worry I will regret my decision, and DH doesn't believe in it except in cases of rape (but he gets that I took morning after pill right away and is supporting my choice)
I'm sick over this. If we had planned to try next year, I still wouldn't be happy, but I'd likely use it as a "sign" and go forward.
But I was going to wait 3 more years.
I feel like a horrible person and that I screwed everything up.
Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do? Do you have any regrets?
i feel like I crossed my Ts and dotted my i's so much, and still, here I am with a BFP and no desire to have it now.
I feel so awful.
Message edited 7/31/2010 9:32:37 AM.
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| Posted 7/31/10 9:32 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: I need some support w/ *THIRD update***
I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for you that it was a false positive. Then you don't have to stress over what to do.
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| Posted 7/31/10 9:39 AM |
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Re: I need some support w/ *THIRD update***
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| Posted 7/31/10 9:42 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: I need some support w/ *THIRD update***
Maybe it was a chemical pregnancy if the lines keep getting lighter and the digital now shows not pregnant?
That's a possiblity.
I hope it works out the way you want it to!
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| Posted 7/31/10 10:02 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: I need some support w/ *THIRD update***
It sounds like a chemical pregnancy - an early miscarriage.
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| Posted 7/31/10 10:18 AM |
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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support w/ *THIRD update***
take the digital POAS apart and if you are indeed pregnant there should be 2 lines
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| Posted 7/31/10 11:11 AM |
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Shelleybean11
Mommy of 2!
Member since 12/08 11013 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some support w/ *THIRD update***
Sounds like a chemical pregnancy.
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| Posted 7/31/10 11:14 AM |
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