Re: I need some support

Posted by Kaitlyn747

Heres the thing.

I was a BIG, HUGE mistake Was NOT supposed to happen at all.

My mom even looked into going to Mexico because abortion was Illegal back then. But here am I am, loved and wanted!

I am 100% pro choice. I think a woman has the right to do with her body what SHE wants to do. Period. Always, and Whenever. Period.

So, it sounds like you are looking for support to end the pregnancy. No one here can tell you what to do. I personally dont believe in the "you were meant to have the baby" thing.

And yes, mistakes DO happen.

I think you have to look at your life and if you can handle a baby right now. Every thing you wrote was really leaning toward ending the pregnancy. I think you should do what you think is right for you, your carrer and your family. If you are ready and willing go for it. If its just bad timing and not in the cards, end it.

Will you regret it? My guess is that you will be sad...but will you regret HAVING the baby and changing your life in a way you are not ready for?

Hard things to balance. I think you know what you want to do already. Whatever it is, its the RIGHT decision.

Big hugs.

Re: I need some support

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by mamakap

you need to think about the long term and if you can honestly care for, provide for another LO. You need to do what is right for you and your family. I cannot imagine being in this situation but you need to make a grown up decision here.

lots of for you.

On the flip side, you need to look at the long term and think about how you will feel about terminating this pregnancy when you hope/plan to have another eventually.

Terminating is not the only grown up decision here (not that you are saying it is). Sometimes, the grown up decision is accepting the unexpected and making it work.

I would also think hard about your DH's feelings. Since you say he is against abortions except in extreme circumstances, I would be hesitant to make a decision that he is not 100% on board with (don't let him leave it up to you, that's too much responsibility).

In any case, I wish you lots of I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you.

Re: I need some support

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. You need to do what's best for your family - either way. I hope you & your DH get on the same page about this. I wouldn't want to see a decision like this tear you up.

Re: I need some support

I can't tell you what to do but if my BC failed and the morning after failed I would really think that it was meant to be. Especially already being married. Good luck with your decision.

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Re: I need some support

I am so sorry its eating you up. I understand you are making this decision based on so many things and what is important for you, your family and your child you have now.

None of us can tell you that you won't regret it or you can move on. Only you can do that.

I am prochoice and altho I've never had to make that decision, I can see your reasons very clearly and I'd probably make the same one and feel just as bad. I'd try to tell myself its all for the great good. For me that would be enough for me to constantly tell myself over and over and find ways to prove that over and over in every single part of my life.

Its a choice only you can make. Either way yes or no, you will have consquences. I wish you the best of luck on the path you choose.

Re: I need some support

Re: I need some support

Please take some time and truly think about this. Don't make a choice based on fear or something not being in a plan. If you choose not to have this baby, make that choice because you truly don't want the baby--not because it doesn't fit into a plan or because you are scared. So many sayings---god laughs when we plan, the best laid plans of mice and mine....you get the point.

Neither of my daughters were planned at the time. When I first got pregnant with DD1, I was on the pill. We planned on having a baby a few years down the road. I started a new job less than 1 mth before getting my BFP. We were not yet married. My daughter is the BIGGEST blessing ever. I cannot imagine my life without this child. And not just without a child, but without this particular little girl who was truly meant to be.

I was still nursing her when I got pregnant with DD2. I was told by a few docs that I wasnt fertile yet. DH was pulling out just in case--except for 1 time. I was terrified when I got my BFP. DD1 was only 4.5 months old. We had no more room for another baby. We had moved to my grandmother's old place to have more room when DD1 was born, and now we again needed more room than we had. I had JUST returned from my maternity leave. He had lost his job. This was not the time to plan for a second child, even though we knew we definitely wanted one "some day". I had many mixed emotions. I found it very hard to bond with the baby in the early part of my pregnancy and felt so guilty and like I was hurting DD1 by bringing another baby into the family so soon.

It took a few months, but soon, that little baby started moving, and we found out she was a girl, and she had a name, and suddenly she was a part of our family. Planned or not, this was our family and it was and is perfect. I cant imagine it being any different now. She's such a sweet baby and I feel she is also such a gift--one I didn't know I wanted until she was here, and she suits our family so perfectly. Sure, we are crowded, money is a little tight, things get nuts at time, but I love our family to pieces and couldn't have planned it to be this perfect if I tried.

I say this not to tell you you are making the wrong choice, but to let you know that how you feel TODAY might not be how you feel in a few months or years. PLease think really hard and don't act out of fear because this is something that you might regret down the road and once you make the choice, there is no turning back.

good luck to you

Re: I need some support

I pray for peace with whatever decision you make.

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Re: I need some support

You are overwjelmed right now and rightfully so. Don't make any decisions now, wait a couple of days until every sinks in and the emotions are not as strong. Once your head is a bit clearer, you'll be able to make a more informed decision and it is more likely to be one that you won't second guess in the future. Only you can decide what's best for you and your family and no one has a right to criticize your decision, whatever it may be - they aren't in your shoes.

Re: I need some support

Posted by pnbplus1



You are overwjelmed right now and rightfully so. Don't make any decisions now, wait a couple of days until every sinks in and the emotions are not as strong. Once your head is a bit clearer, you'll be able to make a more informed decision and it is more likely to be one that you won't second guess in the future. Only you can decide what's best for you and your family and no one has a right to criticize your decision, whatever it may be - they aren't in your shoes.

Re: I need some support

I am sorry you are going through this.
I hope you come to whatever decision is best for you and your family.
There are many different options.

Re: I need some support

The best things in life are unplanned! You must do whatever is right for you, but you may end up regretting this 100% someday. Please think it through!

Re: I need some support

whatever you decide, I hope you can find peace in your decision.

Re: I need some support

I know someone who was in a similar situation and went through with the abortion. Not a day goes by that she doesnt regret it. Especially since she went on to get pregnant and have more children. She always wonder what her baby would be like. It also caused some problems after the fact in her marriage, there was definitely some resentment on her husbands part.

Honestly only you know what is the right decision, you and your husband will have to live with it. For me, I wouldnt even consider it an option.

good luck

Re: I need some support

I wish you the best and peace with your decision soon. IMHO, some things in life are meant to be. Pregnancy hormones make everything harder when emotions are involved. The fact that you are conflicted makes me think there is a part of you who wants to keep this little baby..and if you do, remember that things have a way of working themselves out. Whatever you choose, make sure it is the decision you won't regret and have sitting on your mind in 5, 10, or 25 years.

Re: I need some support w/an ***update***

you are a good mom and whatever decision you make, it will be the right decision for you, talk it over with DH..

one thing I was thinking about, not sure if this is "right" of me to say, and please remember that I am 100% pro-choice (not pro-death or pro-abortion, but pro CHOICE)...how would you feel if you did terminate and then were never blessed with a pregnancy for whatever reason?

are you satisfied with one child or would you feel something was missing

Re: I need some support w/an ***update***

Posted by pinkandblue

you are a good mom and whatever decision you make, it will be the right decision for you, talk it over with DH..

one thing I was thinking about, not sure if this is "right" of me to say, and please remember that I am 100% pro-choice (not pro-death or pro-abortion, but pro CHOICE)...how would you feel if you did terminate and then were never blessed with a pregnancy for whatever reason?

are you satisfied with one child or would you feel something was missing

Re: I need some support w/an ***update***

if this update was for you, to help sort through your feelings, I am glad you have this place as an outlet to sort things out.

but please do not feel you owe anyone an explanation (except your husband) into your thought process here. b/c you don't.

there are a lot of unhappy children born of parents who never really wanted them.

and there are a lot of happy children born of parents who were surprised but eventually came to accept and then to rejoice.

you are the ONLY person who knows which one of these people you could be.

I wish you much strength in making this decision. it sounds like both you and your husband have A LOT to think and talk about.

Re: I need some support w/an ***update***

May God Bless You in such an emotional time. Please give yourself some time to absorb everything.

Re: I need some support w/an ***update***