9/20 FINAL UPDATE At bottom of 1st Post:I'm A Licensed Foster Parent

So DH and I have decided to take in his cousins son who is currently in foster care. This is a huge decision as I am not a mother so this would be new to me. DH has a 12yr old son.

Anyway the child is 15months and has been in foster care for about 8-9months. The mother (DH cousin) would lose all rights to her child after a year if she didnt fulfill the requirements to get him back. So we decided to take him in and raise so we know atleast he is with family that will love him. We decided this 4 weeks ago and the case worker took our information and started the process. The baby is in foster care in Baltimore. We were told Baltimore fills out the papework, sends it to NJ,they check into out living situation and background before placement. She said maybe about a month or longer for the process to be complete.

two weeks ago we called the caseworker and she said all the information is filled and sitting on her supervisors desk. As of last week she told the Bio Mom that she would call when the status has changed. Now she isnt returning any of our calls when before we were speaking to her like everyday and getting calls back. I feel like it is taking long just to fill out the paper work to send to nj. ofcourse, I know the system can slow and etcc..

My question: is there anything we can do to move the process along? Get a lawyer? Or is this nothing we can do? I know there are social workers on this site or anyone who has experience that can give me any advice would be greatly appreciated.



I just keep thinking about this little boy in forster care, who has been moved around and I want to get him and provide him with a stable, loving home.

Thanks so much for reading this!!

UPDATE:
The last status was that it has moved to the office of the person who handles the Interstate. We are going to the next hearing 2/19. And we are trying to schedule a visit with him for second week in February

Even more exciting, his mom had a scheduled visit with him today and sent us pic. Before that we had only seen a newborn pic of him. Anyway here are some of the pics, I wanted to share with everyone. His face melted my heart


3/20 Update

Status of the case
As of earlier this week 3/15, NJ was still waiting on paperwork from Maryland Interstate. I called the caseworker to tell her that NJ is missing paperwork. She seemed total clueless, dont ask me why. Anyway I received a call from her on friday (3/19) that she submitted the missing paperwork and sent it back to NJ to proceed. The next steps are NJ sending it to our county and scheduling the home study. NJ changed its laws in 2005 and we will have to become foster parents to the baby.

Oh and the 2/19 court hearing was cancelled because they didnt put in the Writ to have the father come in from Jail. This was the 5th time it happened. Oh well, next court hearing is for 5/5, maybe ill get a 30th bday surprise (5/1) and cinco de mayo will offer us some GOOD LUCK!!!


3/12 - We had a visit
We had a visitation with the baby. His name is Alexander Joseph and we call him AJ. DH and I were so nervous and excited to meet him. He is such a tiny little thing and so cute. It was me, my DH, his cousin (BM) and his aunt (aj's grandma). He didnt cry, just gave us that crazy look like "who are these guys".

After he warmed up to us, I sat and played with him and got him to say "Blocks" He also said hello, that, baby and book. We were with him for an hour and half and walked down with him to put him in his carseat when it was time to go. That was so hard to do, it took me everything to not breakdown and cry. I wanted to take him home with me. He loved the Micky Mouse book we bought him and didnt want to let go of it. Here are some pics:

4/20 We Have a Home Study Scehduled

This is hot off the press, my DH just called me. A social worker from our county called and scheduled a home vist for Thursday @ 2. I am so nervous and so frigggin excited.

We have the court hearing on 5/3 and I am hoping that the father doesnt contest it out of spite.

However, I am filling my thoughts with positive vibes and prayer.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the support and postive words. I had to share this news with you all

5/25 Getting Licensed

Just wanted to give an update on the status of getting baby AJ, last week he turned 19months.

First thing, during the last court hearing on 5/3 we made some progress. The father was there and he said he was fine with the baby coming to stay with us in NJ The judge scheduled our next hearing on 6/28.

NJ DYFS has contacted us they have been great in getting everything moving along to get us licensed. We took the PRIDE classes, had 3 homestudies and interviews, got physicals and fingerprinted. Now the caseworker is waiting for the friend references, doctors release forms, employee verification and NY background check.

I have nothing but great things to say about how fast & diligent NJ has been in getting the ball rolling for us to get licensed to become Foster Parents. I plan on writing a great letter to them and thanking our Case worker.

We are going to visit the baby on 6/4

8/4 - WE ARE LICENSED FOSTER PARENTS!!!

We had the home inspection and passed. The lady was so impressed and we didnt have not one of the 162 violation. I think the inspector thought we were nuts with all the baby proofing. I cant tell you how excited I am that we are licensed. Now it is a matter of going to the court hearing in Baltimore in September and the judge saying its ok to bring the baby home.

It has been an emotional roller coaster and the process was delayed because our NJ Social worker basically screwed us. But at this point I am happy that the NJ portion is done and now we are just waiting on the court hearing.

I am hoping to get him before his 2nd Birthday (10/18). So if you can spare prayers that everything goes smoothly in September, I would be very grateful!!

FINAL POST
HE IS HOME


This pic is from our July Visit

Image Attachment(s):

Message edited 9/20/2010 3:47:57 PM.

Re: Need Some Advice:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care (very long)

I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to wish you and your family the very best!! What a beautiful thing you are doing for your cousin's baby

Re: Need Some Advice:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care (very long)

Thanks for reading my long post and the well wishes.

Re: Need Some Advice:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care (very long)

Wow, that's such an honorable and loving thing that you're doing!!

I can't offer any help but I wish you the best of luck and commend you for your efforts!!

Re: Need Some Advice:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care (very long)

I too have no advice for you but I jsut wanted to say that this is the most loving thing I have read on this board.



Good Luck and I hope he comes to live with you soon!

Re: Need Some Advice:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care (very long)

thanks agian for the prayers, hugs and support. At the recommendation of a lovely poster, we probably will be heading to Baltimore in february to his next hearing. Thanks again, I will keep you updated!!!

Re: Need Some Advice:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care (very long)

Posted by Lisa

I too have no advice for you but I jsut wanted to say that this is the most loving thing I have read on this board.



Good Luck and I hope he comes to live with you soon!

Re: Need Some Advice:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care (very long)

I would try calling a legal services agency in Baltimore, OR the local bar association and ask for a referral for a Family Law attorney. A consultation should be relatively inexpensive (here in Suffolk County @ $50). They can help you a bit and tell you if you need to actually hire an attorney to complete the process (not necessary in New York, but it can't hurt).

Re: Need Some Advice:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

Thanks everyone for the support and the info that was provided on this thread and via FM. I updated with pic. I will take them down tonight. I just had to share.

Message edited 1/28/2010 5:31:08 PM.

Re: UPDATED 1/28 with PICS and Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

Sasha I can not believe this- you and your DH are angels! It so beyond kind what you are doing! Will the little boy still be in contact with his birth mom? You guys are seriously amazing! You will love being a mom- they are SO FUN at that age!!

Re: UPDATED 1/28 with PICS and Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

That's amazing what you are doing. I have no advice but wanted to wish you good luck. Keep us updated!

Re: UPDATED 1/28 with PICS and Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

What a beautiful boy! I wish you luck and hope he is in your arms soon!

Re: UPDATED 1/28 with PICS and Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

Omg that little face, he's too cute!!

Glad that there's been some progress, hope things keep moving for you.

Re: UPDATED 1/28 with PICS and Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

What a cutie!!

And also, what an amazing thing you are doing!!!!

When I was in law school, I did foster care law. This was in NY and I was NOT a lawyer. But I would represent foster care agencies and work on termination of parental rights and adoptions. You should get a lawyer. Perhaps the agency's lawyer can suggest someone, since you will be working closley with them. You may even be able to speak to their lawyer.

Good luck!!!

Re: UPDATED 1/28 with PICS and Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

What a cutie...and what you are doing is AWSOME!

Re: UPDATED 1/28 with PICS and Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

God bless you and your DH for doing something so selfless. My sister did something very similiar a while ago....she took in a foster child of someone she knew...and she even adopted him. He's now 12 yrs old and the love of her life

the baby is soooo beautiful by the way...I can see how you're in love already

Message edited 1/29/2010 11:01:50 AM.

Re: UPDATED 1/28 Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

Re: UPDATED 1/28 Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

Re: UPDATED 1/28 Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

what a great thing you and your husband are doing! good luck!!

Re: UPDATED 1/28 Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

I am a child welfare lawyer---this is what i do every day. Once you become an adoptive resource the agency should be able to provide you with a list of attorneys. Unfortunately, as you know, you're dealing with not only one bureaucracy but two....NJ and MD. The Interstate could take up to 3 months but there are certain exceptions- one i believe is if they're under 2 years old. the only thing i can say for sure (at least in the family court i practice in) is that if you go to the hearings you're more likely to get the Judge to order that people move quickly. if the Judge sees an adoptive resource in front of them, they're likely to move things along and not allow the agency to just sit around and push paper for months. good luck.

Re: UPDATED 1/28 Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

Re: UPDATED 1/28 Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

if the baby is under two that's one of the exceptions to expediting the ICPC so that's great for you guys. be assertive in court and when dealing with the agency. the workers are overwhelmed with the amount of cases they handle and the only way to ensure that they're on top of your case is to make noise. good luck.

Re: UPDATED 1/28 Progress:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

Wow, I just came upon your post and I have to agree, you and your DH are angels

That little boy is tremendously lucky to have you in his life, it literally makes my heart melt to hear that you have decided to take him in. I think you will feel very lucky as well once you have him with you, children are such blessings.

Good luck with the process, you are doing a wonderful thing.

Re: 2/12 UPDATE At bottom of pg:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

Ok so no real news on progress but we did not get to see him this week

Honestly, I am annoyed at the caseworker because she has not called us back in over two weeks. The last conversation was to pick dates for her to schedule a visit since our background check was approved. My DH called her and gave her three dates over two weeks ago. She has yet to return our phone call. I just wish she would have called us back and let us know what happened. She hasnt even spoken to the birth mother

Anyway, for the meantime we gave up on contacting her and her supervisor. We are waiting till next week on the 19th for the placement hearing. We will meet with the lawyers and hopefully the judge. The caseworker will also be there. My only guess in her defense is that she is no longer in charge of the case since it has moved. But a simple phone call wouldve been nice.

Oh well, I know its only a matter of time before he is with us and thats what keeps me from losing my mind.

Thanks everyone for all the information you provided, it has really helped us and shed a light on what we need to do.

Re: 2/12 UPDATE At bottom of pg:Trying to Take a Child in From Foster Care

CONGRATS! I didn't see the pics but I can tell from the comments that he is absolutely adorable.

It sucks that you're not getting calls back and that would be driving me crazy. Feb 19th is just around the corner, so it won't be much longer now.

Congrats again!!!