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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
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Team SEXY BACK
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A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
edited post to protect the innocent
Message edited 8/4/2008 11:50:01 AM.
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Posted 8/1/08 12:06 PM  |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
If your Dh works morning noon and night it willbe hard and you will need to join a gym that has childcare. If you are working full time, then you will need to workout on your lunch hours and save the evenings for family time as the kids will probably be in day care if you work F/T.
If your Dh is willing to watch the kids than that is AWESOME! You will figure out what works for you and your family when the time comes. Maybe her DH works a lot or he is a Pr!ck, who knows?
That said, when the motivation is strong enough, you will find a way to make it happen. Plus, you will feel that working out keeps you sane. 
Message edited 8/1/2008 12:35:28 PM.
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| Posted 8/1/08 12:33 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
For me at least, its not that I CANT get me time, rather than I don't want it...
I mean I love doing things for me, but being a FT working mom- when I'm not working I want to be with my son.
With that said, I do ALOT on my lunch hour...
Manicure, pedicures, walks- whatever it may be.
I also find time to exercise by putting DS in the jogging stroller and going for a walk or run...
I have family around who is more than willing to help out, so when I need it- I find a way to get it.
ETA- nowadays there are alot of mommy and me type fitness classes-
Mommy-n-me yoga (which I havent tried but have heard RAVE reviews)
Tons of music and movement and gym classes. (they are geared for baby- but you have to work your @ss off too)
Message edited 8/1/2008 12:55:39 PM.
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| Posted 8/1/08 12:53 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
OK, here's the thing, coming from someone who has half her act together......it's everything you said, in combination
1-yes, she is making excuses for herself, because she doesn't seem to have the determination that you do.
2-Yes, it IS VERY hard to have that determination once you have a child. You will want to spend every waking moment with your child, especially if they are in daycare. The time you will get to spend with them will become so precious, only you will know if you will be able to tear yourself away to squeeze in a workout.
3-Yes, she, and I!, are jealous of the time you have to yourself. There's no denyine it, and there's no shame in being jealous either. THere's days I wish I could just leave work and go to the gym, but I don't. Why? Partially because I am in the routine of not going, and I need to start a new routine, and partially because I want to get home ASAP to see my little boy before it's bedtime. Also, my DH and I need to really pare down our hectic scheduls to accommodate getting in some more exercise.
To reiterate, it is very tough and hard to be disciplined when this little person comes into your life, and you never know how it will make you feel until you yourself are in the middle of it. It sounds like your DH is very supportive, so hopefully it will be easier to continue with your regimen.....
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| Posted 8/1/08 1:01 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
growing up - my Mom ALWAYS made time for herself to work out
she was up at 5am running 5 milies a day
as we got older- she joined a gym- and we would go with her and work out
she set a great example by taking care of herself and showing us that she valued it
of course- I don't have any childern- but I hope I can find time for myself
a new parent once told me the best thing he ever did was put a small gym in the basement-
I plan on doing the same
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| Posted 8/1/08 1:07 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
As a working mom whose husband does not work 9-5, I have to agree with the article. I do my best, but it doesn't always work. But it may also be my job.
I'm an attorney. I work about 50 hours a week.
My DH comes home after 8 or 9. Since I run outside, I don't like running that late.
What I try to do is wake up in the AM to run, before DD wakes up. But when DD was waking up at 5:00 am, that was pretty much out the window.
On the weekends, I really hate to leave her. I want to be with her. So I try to run when she naps, but when its hot out and she is napping in the middle of the day, its tough too. I like my early morning runs, but again- that depends on her sleep schedule.
Today I am actually trying an experiment. I am going to try running home with DD while I take her home from daycare. Its a 1.5 mile run. Nothing huge, but I may use it to supplement shorter runs in the morning.
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| Posted 8/1/08 1:33 PM |
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Tracey
***********
Member since 5/05 6297 total posts
Name:
Tracey - brideinapril
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
I work full time as does my DH - however I always make the time to fit my workout into my schedule - whether it be before the kids get up (which would mean a 5:30 am run) or after they go to bed, (which is after 8 pm).
I have 3 kids - a 10 year old and twins who are almost 3.
I do this for me - because it makes ME feel good. Having children hasn't changed me in that way, I just work around them - but I always get my workout in every single day except on Sundays.
If I don't get my workout in, my day does not feel complete.
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| Posted 8/1/08 1:41 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
Before I had Alex I was an exercise nut. I won't lie that when I had her, my obsession with exercise fell by the wayside for some time. Part of it was that I just didn't have the same freedom to just up and go for a run, or go to the gym, like I used to, and another big part of it was pure exhaustion. After tending to a collicky baby all night, then waking up and working all day, I had NO energy to workout.
But, as she got older, and as I transitioned into a more family-friendly, flexible job, I slowly but surely found my way back into the exercise arena.
There is simply no way I'll ever have the energy or time to dedicate to my workouts like I used to, but everyday during my lunchhour I either workout, or take a nice long walk around the city.
It's really all about prioties and making the effort. It's definitely not as easy as when you don't have a child, but if you make it a priority, it is doable.
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| Posted 8/1/08 2:19 PM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
Posted by Bxgell2
It's really all about prioties and making the effort. It's definitely not as easy as when you don't have a child, but if you make it a priority, it is doable.
Thank you all for your responses! This is exactly how I feel. I also think there is a big difference between making the choice not to take the time for it when you can (which I really feel is her case) versus just not being able to. I suppose that's why it bothers me when she makes comments. It's also not always child-related she also likes to comment about what I eat etc.
The way she talks you would think you couldn't exercise, go out to eat or basically have any fun once you have children. 
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| Posted 8/1/08 3:52 PM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
First off, don't let your co-worker get you down. It sounds like to me she is making excuses and probably is a bit jealous.
Now to answer your question...
For me, I wouldn't say it's hard but it is different than before DS was born. It's NOT impossible by any means. Before DS was born, I worked out when I wanted and for however long I wanted because I could. Now I still work out, probably harder than I did before, and it works. I schedule my runs around DH and DS's schedules and around my work schedule. For non-hill runs, I put DS in the jogging stroller and take him with me. He takes a nap and I burn extra calories. We also have a treadmill so if worse comes to worse, I run after he goes to bed.
On Saturday mornings, I take a pilates class and that is DH's special time with DS since his work hours don't always permit him to spend a lot of time with him during the week.
I even do DVD workouts with DS right there with me. For bike rides, we got a bike seat and a helmut for him so he can come with us whenever we want to go.
It's all a matter of attitude and level of commitment. There are days where I would like to run a bit longer but then the mommy mode kicks in and I want to go home and see DS. It's all about balancing it out. If someone is committed to fitness and taking care of themselves, so in turn they can take care of their families, it's almost becomes a non-issue because you find the routine that works for you.
When the time comes and if you and your DH decide to have a family, you'll be in a great position to handle the pregnancy because you are so active. Don't let the Debbie-Downer in your office get to you.
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| Posted 8/1/08 4:07 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
Posted by azoodie
The way she talks you would think you couldn't exercise, go out to eat or basically have any fun once you have children.
Sad for her that she feels this way. Like having kids is a jail sentence from her POV.
Try to emulate the moms you see making time for their workouts, themselves, their families, etc.
I HAVE to workout for my health so that I am alive for my child. I HAVE to set a good example for her like Beth1210's mom did so she will value herself enough to take care of her body when she is older. It is not even a "choice" for me as it is ingrained into my life now.
Azad, you will be fine b/c YOU KNOW how important this is to you. You will be a great example for you kids and I can see you now with a double jogging stroller running all around town or taking a mommy & me yoga class.
Message edited 8/1/2008 4:10:30 PM.
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| Posted 8/1/08 4:09 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
OK. Totally jealous. I used to hate saying that about people...but you know what...it's true!!!! She is jealous that you are doing something for YOU and you are feeling great and she is obviously not. That jealousy is a nasty thing.
She is making excuses. I've done it. I used to never have time to exercise either. But you know what, I am a mommy and I lost 73 pounds. That's HUGE. I MAKE the time. I don't have the time if I don't want to have it. KWIM? Now, it is a part of my everyday life.
I used to never be able to go to lunch because I was so busy. Now, I have to go. That is when I work out. and you know what, my bosses actually encourage it. They like that I am healthy, happy and energized. I get more work done now that I take a little over an hour lunch than I did not taking lunch. Everyone here now knows...do NOT come to me between 12 and 1:15 (or some days 12:30 to 1:45 ) because I will not be here! Don't ask me to do something at 11:55 because I can't do it. That is just how it is.
As far as working out at home...DH watches Steven while I run or Steven helps me. I have a medicine ball that we roll back and forth to eachother (totally unsafe  ) or DH will hold my feet while I do my sit ups and Steven helps DH hold my feet down. Many times, I used to do this more than I do now, I use Steven as exercise. He is my 30 lb weight bar. 
Or, I go jogging with him in his jogging stroller.
Maybe you can point out to her the article in this month's Parenting magazine (or Parents, one of them), it gives you a whole workout sequence that you can do at the playground using the park equipment.  Tell her no excuses, because that is exactly what she is doing.
Plus, when you have kids, you HAVE to continue your healthy lifestyle this way you can show your children that they have to be healthy and active.
Now, as if my post wasn't long enough, I have to say...thank GOD I am active now because Steven is soooo active. He is such an outdoors kid. Loves going on the bike rides, loved the hikes and he keeps asking me and DH "hike? hike?" he actually wants to go again!!!! He is so active that it would be a disservice to him if I were not active and I were in the position I was in one year ago.
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| Posted 8/1/08 4:41 PM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
Posted by Reese1106
For me, I wouldn't say it's hard but it is different than before DS was born. It's NOT impossible by any means.
I ditto this 100 times!
I have two young kids and if DH isn't home - I pack them up in the stroller for a run. Granted I can't really do my long runs or hill workouts (well don't want to) with the stroller, but I can and they LOVE it!!!! It tacks on about a minute a mile to my time, but I figure, I'm getting a bit harder workout. My goal is to beat my best 10K time of 45 min - and it will be cool to say that my best time was as a mother and in my 30s!
I am pretty lucky that DH works from home a lot, but on the days he doesn't, I'm in my running clothes when he gets home and I head out when he walks in the door (that's harder in the winter)
I think it's mostly jealousy - a former coworker of mine would take walks during lunch - she was a mother - it was the perfect time to do it (we had a big hill by our school) I never wanted to be sweaty, but what a great idea for anyone to do!
Message edited 8/1/2008 4:48:09 PM.
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| Posted 8/1/08 4:46 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
IGNORE her - Women like this are what I find TERRIFYING about becoming a mother. - Women that do NOTHING for themselves, and BY CHOICE every waking minute of their lives MUST someone involve their kids and then they complain complain complain and pull the martyr crap about how it's SO hard and SO different and blah blah blah ......... - Boo Effing Hoo for you !! -
I know PLENTY of working Moms who make time for themselves as well as their friends, husbands, etc. They are happy, healthy, intelligent WONDERFUL mothers ........ Personally, I think it's all about the person, their priorities, their drive, and what makes them happy -
Obviously, like you said she's just a "Debbie Downer" personality to begin with. Those types of people, parents or not, are going to nit pick and complain about things, she's probably jealous, NOT of your free time (B/c IMO a person w/ that attitude wouldn't do what you do regardless of whether she was single w/ ZERO responsibilities or she had 50 kids!) she's probably jealous of your spirit and determination and wants to knock you on your tush any way she can ............Toxic ! Stay away from her !!!
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| Posted 8/1/08 4:58 PM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
I just wanted to add that DH golfs 18-36 holes a week. He will get up at 5am to do it, b/c he enjoys it and will get home to enjoy the day with the kids.
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| Posted 8/1/08 6:01 PM |
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juanvi
Get Out!
Member since 10/06 4463 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
Honestly, I would forego anything to spend more time with my DS. BUT I do what I can for myself. Everyone does things differently and you'll do what you have to for yourself when the time comes.
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| Posted 8/1/08 9:16 PM |
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DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
It's all a balancing act. Sometimes you have to be a little flexible in creating a workout - I'm not a huge fan of exercise DVD's, but when DD is asleep and DH is working late - what can you do? If you have a husband/wife who is a partner - then you're always able to carve out some 'me' time. Sometimes that time might be a few hours, sometimes it might only be 20 minutes.
I work full time and either swim 50 laps or run 3 miles 4-5 days a week. DH goes to the gym or jogs 4-5 days a week as well. We go in shifts.
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| Posted 8/2/08 2:33 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
Name:
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
I'm not a mom, but I think what I'm about to say applies full spectrum. If you WANT to do something (run, massage, pedicure, read, scrapbook, bake, sew, clean, chat on phone, garden, whatever) you MAKE the time. I see it from all ages and backgrounds. "Oh, I don't have time for X,Y, or Z." But they have time for A, B and C. "Oh, I can't squeeze in 45 minute to walk/run/bike/do sit ups/do push ups, read, make dinner, whatever." But they have 4 hours to sit on the couch and watch tv, or sit on the computer and surf the web. You make time for what you prioritize. I think that when you become a parent, your priorities change. I don't doubt that. But I think it's unfortunate when a mother is no longer her own priority. Therefore, Azad, I know you will prioritize your self, your health, and your sanity when you have kids, therefore, you will make time to keep yourself healthy. JMO and who knows what I'll be saying when I do have kids.
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| Posted 8/2/08 3:54 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
First, Azad I think I saw you running during lunch while I was walking with some of my co-workers! You looked great, and left us in your dust!
Second, I walk every day during lunch with my co-workers, and some of them are mothers. I think you grab the time where you can. You may not want to give up your nights to go to the gym if it means giving up time with DC, but if you can grab a half hour or hour during the workday, you can definitely still get the workout in! And, to reward ourselves, we've been walking to Green Cactus.
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| Posted 8/2/08 7:08 PM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
Right now, I have ZERO time to work out. Landon is only 2 months old and I tried to run a few times, but when he starts crying my run ends. When he gets a little older I am going to a gym that has babysitting, but for now I think he is too young for that.
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| Posted 8/2/08 8:49 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
I honestly don't think you can imagine what it's going to be like until you have a child.
You think you know but you don't.
Your co-worker's reaction is probably a combination of things.
- She wants to spend time with her kids
- She is tired
- She is probably all over the place mentally and physically speaking
- She needs motivation the MOST
I was NOT prepared as much as I thought it would be for the pregnancy and having a child. I am the oldest of 4 kids. I saw my mom PG twice. It's tough when it's you!!!! It's not that you don't want to take care of yourself but you lose yourself a bit when you have a child. Your priorities change.
Some moms find the motivation, some don't want to be bothered, some are overwhelmed.
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| Posted 8/2/08 10:03 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
Posted by smdl
I honestly don't think you can imagine what it's going to be like until you have a child.
You think you know but you don't.
While this is true about life with baby in general, I think that if you have a solid plan to continue your fitness, then you will do it. You will find a time that is conveneint for you in whatever situation you are in. There are other ways to exercise than the gym.
At home DVD
running before your child wakes up or after bedtime
owning a piece of exercise equipment
Just because you have a child and your schedule is different and much more hectic doesn't mean you have to stop doing what you love. Plus, it is just as important to be healthy for your children and SHOW them how to live a healthy lifestyle as it is to spend time with them.
MOST people can find time if they really want to, IMO.
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| Posted 8/3/08 9:29 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
I don't work, so its slightly different for me, but I have never been so active in my life.
walks galore, frame pack hikes, being the mom dolphin in the pool with baby on my back, bike riding....anything free to get us out of the house.
I tried the gym with the daycare...it was 0-18 months in one class...I could not do it to him, he was bored out of his mind.
Now that he is getting older I may attempt it again.
now that my milk jugs are gone, we have been using the jogging stroller almost daily each evening.
only a mile a night, mainly because I hate it....Leo's going to start making me do a mile and a half next week.
Message edited 8/3/2008 9:37:04 AM.
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| Posted 8/3/08 9:34 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
Posted by pmpkn087
Posted by smdl
I honestly don't think you can imagine what it's going to be like until you have a child.
You think you know but you don't.
While this is true about life with baby in general, I think that if you have a solid plan to continue your fitness, then you will do it. You will find a time that is conveneint for you in whatever situation you are in. There are other ways to exercise than the gym.
At home DVD
running before your child wakes up or after bedtime
owning a piece of exercise equipment
Just because you have a child and your schedule is different and much more hectic doesn't mean you have to stop doing what you love. Plus, it is just as important to be healthy for your children and SHOW them how to live a healthy lifestyle as it is to spend time with them.
MOST people can find time if they really want to, IMO.
I think it really all depends. I'm as motivated as they get, and fitness is a very important part of my life - it was before Alex and after, but even for me, it was very difficult adjusting the first year after she was born. I was working full-time, as a litigation attorney, while tending to a collicky baby for 6 months, and a baby who wouldn't sleep for more than a 3-4 stretch of time until she was 15 months old. I didn't have my lunchhour to myself, working as an attorney in a litigation firm, and when I got home, it was all about rocking a collicky baby to sleep. And we had ZERO family helping us out. There was just no humanly way I could have incorporated working out into my schedule.
But, with that said, once things calmed down a little, once I moved to a more flexible job, and she started sleeping better, and stopped crying (as much), that's when I started to slooowly return to my old habits.
I'll never be able to focus as much attention to my workouts - as OP's have said, it's about doing what I can, when I can, even if that means taking a walk at lunchtime, using an exercise DVD during her naps on the weekend, or running outside with her in the stroller. Exercise has become an important part of my life again, but that was only after all the external factors allowed me to do so, and even then, it's a different emphasis now as it was before I had her.
So I guess what I'm saying is, depending on your circumstances, I CAN understand why it simply is NOT possible to dedicate the time or effort. But, as with most things in life, eventually those external circumstances change and do allow us extra time, and that is when, if you're dedicated and motivated, you can start incorporating it back into your life, even if it has to be in different ways.
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| Posted 8/3/08 9:37 AM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: A bit of a vent and question for mommies (a bit long)...
I hope I haven't upset anyone by my post.
As pp have said I guess it really depends on the situation. DH has a 35 hour work week. Right now I am a grad student and plan on teaching when I graduate at a college or university and hope to schedule my days so that I am there as little as possible. Our in-laws live 5 minutes away from us and I know would just LOVE to help us out as well. Aside from all that I feel like I would really make it a priority to work out and also encourage family outings and activity. I just don't see it as an impossibility in my particular future and although "free" time may be more limited than it is now I would still make the time.
In my co-workers situation, like I said before her mother lives at home with her and helps out a lot. Some days she leaves work early (at 3:30) - if she REALLY wanted to, she could take 30 or 45 minutes and exercise while her child is in daycare. She is also not a newborn - her daughter is 2.5 years old and they do not plan on having any more children. I feel like in her case she is just hating on me. I guess I just don't like when people make excuses for themselves and then takes their negativity out on me. Just because she doesn't make the choice to take time for herself, doesn't mean I won't be able
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| Posted 8/3/08 2:01 PM |
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