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vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
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A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
I am currently preggo and due in Sept and really want to change my career. Currenlty, I work as an adminstrator for a very prominent law school here in NYC. However, this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life the only reason why i am staying is so that DH and I can go to school for free. He is doing his bachelors and I am doing my Masters. However, I am not happy b/c i really want to follow my heart and really get into doing what I love which is planning events. I have been taking courses to become certified in that area, fixing up my resume etc.
Well here is my dillemma, baby number 2 is going to be here in Sept. I am going to BF for 6 months so possibly ending in January beginning of Feb. I am very very very nervous about putting my child in daycare before 6 months much less one year old. I am not saying that there is nothing wrong with that its just the way I feel about it. However, I really want to find my dream job and start doing what I love.
So in your honest opinions ladies what would you do? Many people say that a good mom puts here career and dreams on hold for their children...Hmmm I dont know if I fully agree with this.
Message edited 6/10/2008 1:01:29 PM.
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Posted 6/10/08 1:01 PM  |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Well, first of all, congrats on the upcoming arrival!!
Second, the statement about a good mom putting her career on hold is such a harsh thing to say, not that you're saying it, but in general.
A good mom does not necessarily have to be a SAHM, but one who nurtures and supports her child, and gives them a loving environment in which they can grow. That's the best I can come up with because I believe their is no set definition of what it takes to actually BE a good mom.
I think you should follow your heart, make sure to find a good daycare NOW so you will feel more comfortable with your decision, and wait until you get out of school.....and then go for it!!!
I tried to find another job before I came back to my current, as it is not my ULTIMATE job.....and ironically it's in events as well.
Another opportunity has presented itself and I am working toward owning my own business! 
In no way do I feel like an inadequate mother, I feel as if I am more capable of giving my son the better things in life becase we will be more financially able to do so.
There's always 2 sides to the coin, and if you put DC in daycare earlier, they adjust better and develop solid relationship skills, IMHO!
I wish you the best in whatever you decide, just don't think you will be a better mom if you didn't follow your dreams, you will be a happier mom if nothing else, if you did so.......
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:13 PM |
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jes81276
summer fun!
Member since 3/06 4962 total posts
Name:
Jaime
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by vegalady
So in your honest opinions ladies what would you do? Many people say that a good mom puts here career and dreams on hold for their children...Hmmm I dont know if I fully agree with this.
Most ridiculous thing I have ever heard......most people cannot live off one salary these days
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:19 PM |
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this.
If it were me I would wait. I personally could not start a new career with a new baby and a toddler at home. Although I'm sure though that there are plenty of moms that could.
Also If you don't want your child in daycare before 6 months, but you will be forced into it, I think it will be even harder for you.
That is JMHO but you have to be happy. A good mom is one that does the best thing for herself and her family. HTH
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:22 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
I'm confused..don't you already have your son in daycare and he's under a year old?
I think you need to do what makes you happy. Good moms can work outside the home and be a mom at the same time. 
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:25 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
A good mom does what is best for her family and for herself and her children!!
This comes in the form of working and making $$ to help her kids as well as spending her free time nurturing them...
Or it comes in the form of staying home with them. A good mom to me is one that recongnizes the needs of the family and does in her heart what she can. Whatever that may be!!!
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:28 PM |
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vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by Summerrluvv
I'm confused..don't you already have your son in daycare and he's under a year old?
I think you need to do what makes you happy. Good moms can work outside the home and be a mom at the same time.
yes he went in at 11 months which to me is close enough to one year old so I wasnt quite worried about it. Also b/c of our circumstances i had to have my mom and MIl stop watching him.
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:30 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by maybebaby
A good mom to me is one that recongnizes the needs of the family and does in her heart what she can. Whatever that may be!!!
I love this
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:32 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by KerriSteve
If it were me I would wait. I personally could not start a new career with a new baby and a toddler at home. Although I'm sure though that there are plenty of moms that could.
Also If you don't want your child in daycare before 6 months, but you will be forced into it, I think it will be even harder for you.
ITA. I postponned transitioning completely from my previous career to new career (different field all together) until DS was 5.5 months.
I started my new career while PG but PT with the support of my FT job. I had benefits, maternity leave,etc... I had to survive the first 3 months with a NB. There was no way I could start a new career at that time. I went back to my old job for $$$ and get myself together. I was still working PT in my new career. Then at 5.5 months I was ready and completely left my old career.
I think it depends on your new business.
But don't take on more than you can chew. I don't think doing it with a NB is the best idea.
As far as sacrifice to be a good mom. This is a bunch of crappola. You do what you have to do to provide for your children. Mentally, financially, spiritually, etc... A good mom is one that loves her child.
Right now, I have the best of both Worlds. I am a SAHM with DS during the week. And still have my own business, bring $$$ on the weekends for a few hours.
I am waiting for #2 to come next year to go the extra step. Open my own office.
As far as daycare. I may get a sitter for 2 or 3 days per week next year.
Message edited 6/10/2008 1:42:41 PM.
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:42 PM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by jes81276
Posted by vegalady
So in your honest opinions ladies what would you do? Many people say that a good mom puts here career and dreams on hold for their children...Hmmm I dont know if I fully agree with this.
Most ridiculous thing I have ever heard......most people cannot live off one salary these days
ITA.. a good mom is one who loves their child unconditionally, doesnt matter if you work FT/PT or are a SAHM.
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:45 PM |
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LuvMy2Girls
@>---------
Member since 5/05 11165 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by maybebaby
A good mom to me is one that recongnizes the needs of the family and does in her heart what she can. Whatever that may be!!!
Exactly!
You have to do what makes YOU feel complete. No one can answer this question for you.
There's no right or wrong answer to this, happy mommy=happy family.
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| Posted 6/10/08 1:45 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by vegalady
Many people say that a good mom puts here career and dreams on hold for their children...Hmmm I dont know if I fully agree with this.
IMHO, a good mom is a happy mom. You (and the rest of us) have to make the choices that will work best for you. Follow your heart.
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| Posted 6/10/08 2:21 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by vegalady
Many people say that a good mom puts here career and dreams on hold for their children...Hmmm I dont know if I fully agree with this.
IMHO, a good mom is a happy mom. You (and the rest of us) have to make the choices that will work best for you. Follow your heart.
ITA.
When people look at me with pity when I tell them I work full-time I tell them that I love my job and I love my kid.
I'm better at my job because I'm a mom.
And I'm a better mom because I have my job.
It's all about balance.
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| Posted 6/10/08 2:24 PM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by LuvMy2Girls
Posted by maybebaby
A good mom to me is one that recongnizes the needs of the family and does in her heart what she can. Whatever that may be!!!
Exactly!
You have to do what makes YOU feel complete. No one can answer this question for you.
There's no right or wrong answer to this, happy mommy=happy family.
ITA with this.
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| Posted 6/10/08 2:29 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by vegalady
So in your honest opinions ladies what would you do? Many people say that a good mom puts here career and dreams on hold for their children...Hmmm I dont know if I fully agree with this.
I completely disagree. A happy mom/wife makes for a happy family (without being selfish of course).
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| Posted 6/10/08 2:57 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
Posted by vegalady
Many people say that a good mom puts here career and dreams on hold for their children...Hmmm I dont know if I fully agree with this.
that is one of the most riduculous things I have ever heard....and for those people, I would say, unless you plan to pay my bills, mind your own business 
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| Posted 6/10/08 2:58 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
I think a happy mom is very important, but I also believe in a happy dad and happy baby.
If a new career change was going to throw anything off balance or anyone, I would take that into consideration.
If your baby loves daycare, then the change should be fine.
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| Posted 6/10/08 3:03 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Good Mom puts her career on hold for her children??? Need Insightful advice.
It depends on the person and the situation. If you have the option of staying home or working, then the question is not one of finances but whether you want to advance your career or not.
I had been on a fast track with my career for quite some time when I got pregnant and honestly, wasn't so happy in my last position. Also felt burned out. So for me, I really welcomed a break from working (ummm, in the workplace, being a SAHM is definitely work) and did not mind putting my career on hold. I also work in a field that is female dominated and taking time off for childcare is not considered a killer career move. For me, I figured I can work and advance the rest of my life, but I will only have this time with DS once.
I don't think anyone can decide for you though--only you know what will make you happiest in the end. The thing that will make you more content is what you should do.
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| Posted 6/10/08 5:02 PM |
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