AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

it seems like it is happening with my mother all the time ...

she did raise 3 of us but nowear near the age difference of mine and without a child with special needs and an infant all alone but she feels the need to constantly tell me how i should be doing things differently and how she would never tolerate the behaviours that i do blar blar blar


it is just so frustrating i just wish she would listen insted of telling me how she would do things ...

how do you handle this and not take it personally ?

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

I always say you had your chance now it's mine.

Or I say remember how frustrating it was for you when Nanny made comments about your parenting.......

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

Posted by Stacey1403

I always say you had your chance now it's mine.

Or I say remember how frustrating it was for you when Nanny made comments about your parenting.......

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

My mom doesn't make comments any more, but when she did early on, I would respond with something like "Yeah, and look how I turned out... I want my kids to turn out better than I did.... "

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

I often tell my mother (in a quite comic way) Thanks for that, next time I want your opinion, I will make sure to ask for it! It usually makes her laugh.

But I would do just you mentioned, don't take it personally, take it with a grain of salt,and laugh it off. Odds are, she is just trying to help.

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

I take it with a grain of salt and if whatever I am doing doesn't work then I take their advice. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. My mother does give me credit for what I do often and I do appreciate it.

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

Although my mom is pretty good most of the time, she definately got on my nerves last night for example. She watches my kids monday afternoon and Wednesday during the summer while I work and she is extremely strict. She says things like "nana has rules that are different than mommy and daddy's". She likes to take them back to her house during the day, which is totally fine, but its not a very kid friendly house...there are toys and stuff, but they dont have freedom to roam, etc. I respect that she has rules in her house, but they are 4 and 2 years old, so yes, they will scream, they will whine and they will not listen. She expects them to act like little soldiers...

I see how those that have parents watch their children full time or close to that while they work can be a challenge since you have to find a balance between your parenting style and that of your parents who are caring for your kids.

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

My parents were both raised by an army (all sorts of extended family were always around). They then raised us "alone" as my mother's parents were in Florida and my father's parents were deceased. In my case, my mother knows how nice it was to have the family around and since they did it "alone", and doesn't want me or my sister to have to do it that way. They don't understand why we won't or don't want to take the "help". I really feel that it is a matter of you did it already, let me do it my way.
Another way you could say it is that you raised me so well, let me have the opportunity to raise my children the way you taught me. Like you are giving them props for raising you so well

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

My parents are constantly giving their opinions Sometimes their helpful sometimes it's telling me they dont think I'm doing something right.

We have a very sarcastic family so I just tell them we cant all be perfect like them

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

I told my mom (who BTW is a tad bit anal) "you raised your kids, I will raise mine".

There is only so much "advice" Im willing to sit back and take. I carried this boy for 41w4d I will do with him as I please. JMO

So far so good.

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

I always listen to what she has to say, will take her advice when I agree, and will go to her with questions and ask her opinion when I would like some input. (eg, I asked her what she would do about starting fruits or veggies first, explained what I had read and what I was leaning towards and asked what she thought.)

By doing that, when I disagree, she knows I'm not disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing or being stubborn or thinking she doesn't know anything. She doesn't get insulted when I choose not to do what she suggests, because I still go to her for input at times, and I still listen to her, without automatically taking her advice. For some things, I've had to back up my opinion, or promise I would ask the pediatrician at our next appointment. The biggest one is blankets in the crib. She says how much I loved my blanket and couldn't believe I wasn't going to let DD sleep without a blanket. I had to send her articles from "reliable" sources for that one.

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

Posted by babybugsmum

Posted by Stacey1403

I always say you had your chance now it's mine.

Or I say remember how frustrating it was for you when Nanny made comments about your parenting.......

oh that is a good one ...i must remember that one next time

Re: AAAARRRR How do you handle difference of opinions regarding your parenting style to your own parents ??

I have told my mother to mind her own business, that these are my children, she raised hers, and now its my turn.