ADHD advice please or just hugs

I am so sad right now. My son is such a good boy and does well in school as far as grades but he has a really hard time focusing. He was diagnosed with ADHD the (inattentive type) in May and the Dr. gave me a prescription for meds. I never gave them to him. He is not a hyper kid. He sits still but his mind is always going.

Fast foward to this year. He is having a hard time. I get a phone call from the teacher on Monday saying that Nikolas was really difficult today. He refused to to his writing assignment. Every other kid was excited to do the giving tree assignment but he just didn't want to. She feels like he is being oppositional. It started on thurs...so 3 days of not doing work. She said she thought she could snap him out of it but she doesn't know what is going on.

So anyways he gets off the bus on Monday and I talk to him. He tells me that some kid pushed him today. Went as far as calling him weird and flipping him. I didn't get the full story at first from my son. It's the same kid that is on his basketball team and his father is the coach. Now today I find out that they sit in the same group together at school. .

So anyways I started him on Vyvanse yesterday and when he got off the bus he just looked so out of it. Didn't smile. Was grimacing..it really scared me. We got through his homework. He was calm, didn't seem distracted at all. THe medicine is supposed to work through his homework.

So now I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't have started him on meds. Maybe it's just this kid that is making him upset making fun of him and that is why he hasn't been doing his work. If something upsets him it's hard to snap him out of it. It could ruin his whole day. So I started him on meds for no reason maybe. (this just clicked today by the way)

Today he gets off the bus and he is shaking. Was having heavy breathing. He looked like he was having a panic attack. He was upset about his friend being friends with this boy that bullied him the other day. He is upset because the kid was making nasty faces at him today. I tried to calm him down but couldn't. He was crying and just out of it. I get a phone call from the gym teacher and she said the same thing. She said she has never seen Nikolas like this.

I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I tried calling the doctor today but she wasn't there. I just hate putting him on meds and seeing him like this

The school won't give him any services because he does well as far as his grades.

I'm sorry this is so long. I'm just so depressed and lost. I feel like a horrible mother that can't help her son. I'm giving him the meds to help him focus yet he is this completley different kid to the point it is scary. I guess I'm just looking for some hugs....and advice. If anyone has any experience with ADHD and meds. I don't know what a normal reaction is. I'm so confused right now . Any advice is appreciated.

Message edited 10/29/2008 10:45:27 PM.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Im really sorry, I have no advice but I just wanted to offer you some and tell you that you are a great mother!!!

I cant imagine how hard it is to see your son like that but you are doing the best you know how.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

How many mg. is he on? Maybe the dosage is too high?

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

I could write a book for you on it. Let me know when you have time for a call.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

who is prescribing the medicine? if its not a psychiatrist I would get him to one. he should be properly diagnosed by a specialist before being medicated. And even if he does need medicine, maybe this one isnt the right one. There are other medicines for ADHD

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

My parents were foster parents and took care of a lot of kids with ADHD and emotional problems that were put on all different types of medications.

It sounds like the medicine is affecting him, whether it is an adverse reaction or not its hard to say. A lot of these medications take a while for your system to get use to. I rememebr the Dr.s telling my mom that it was normal for them to get shaky and be "off" for a few weeks. It was difficult but for a lot of these kids the medicine really helped.

But even though they were on medication, at the same time they were also receiving "services" to try and help them work on their "issues" so that eventually they can get off the medication.

I don't think medication should just be precribed as a cure with no other forms of therapy. KWIM?

If you really don't like how he is behaving and your gut tells you something is wrong. STOP the medication until you can talk to a Dr.

These medications should be prescribed by pediatric psychiatrists not regular pediatricians because they know how they best work etc and can provide alternative forms of therapy etc!

Message edited 10/29/2008 10:52:01 PM.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Posted by rose825



who is prescribing the medicine? if its not a psychiatrist I would get him to one. he should be properly diagnosed by a specialist before being medicated. And even if he does need medicine, maybe this one isnt the right one. There are other medicines for ADHD

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Wow. I was tearing up just hearing about how your DS got off the bus so upset. It must be really difficult trying to figure out what is the best thing for him. I would make an appointment with his doc and discuss this ASAP. I would also contact his teacher and ask what support the school could offer. I know you said that he does not receive services because his grades are good, but maybe he could benefit from therapy (in school or privately). A family I worked for (as their nanny) dealt with the oldest son's ADHD in a very holistic way and then eventually turned to meds. The mom cut out high fructose corn syrup and some food colorings as a start. Like I said, eventually she did turn to meds, but I am sure the dietary and behavioral things she did helped the family in general. Maybe the school could provide some resources to help you explore options.
Hang in there!

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Posted by SkyzTheLimit

Posted by rose825



who is prescribing the medicine? if its not a psychiatrist I would get him to one. he should be properly diagnosed by a specialist before being medicated. And even if he does need medicine, maybe this one isnt the right one. There are other medicines for ADHD

He was diagnosed by a Pediatric psychologist at Schneiders Children's Hospital.

He had a Pediatric Neurodevelopmental Evaluation. He is on 30mg. The lowest dosage.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

No advice just

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

I am so sorry to hear your story...it is hearbreaking because you want to do everything you can to protect your child!!!

I work with lots of students DX with ADHD. 30 mg sounds like a lot!! I know that it depends on the size & weight usually with the amount they prescribe. Most of my students start out with 10mg. and I would say they have been on anywhere from 10mg- 30mg (being the most). I would definitely discuss this with your Dr. There are so many different kinds of medication out there for ADHD and not every medication will have the same effect on a child. I know sometimes my students have tried 3 or 4 different kinds before they found the one that worked best with their body. They also have to try different dosages until it is just right. The doctors, you, & all of your sons teachers should be carefully monitoring him for changes. Communication is key!! I know on many numerous occasions I have had to fill out paperwork so the doctor can monitor the effects of the medication.

Schneider's is a very big practice..if your doctor isn't available, can you speak with another in the practice??

Good Luck!!

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

I am a social worker and I work with a lot of kids that have a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD and take medication. Vyvanse is a med that some of my boys take. I think it sounds like there are 2 major things going on. First off, medication typcially takes 30 days to show its's full affect and the medication should not be abruptly discontinued or inconsistently given. Please discuss this with the dr before stopping/inconsistently giving the medication. While there is a 30 day window, I am sure there is a chance your son's body could be reacting in the manner that you are seeing. As mentioned above, sometimes it takes multiple attempts on different types of medications before you find the one that is right for your child. But, typically a change won't be made from one med to another efore 30 days (at least in my experience).

With that being said, I think the other boy at school is something that could also be affecting him negatively. I definately think it's worth another discussion with him to see what's been happening between him and this boy. And, it's is certiainly worth a discussion with the teacher. Maybe your son or the other boy could be changed to another group in the classroom (I'd like for it to be the other boy considering he sounds like the one causing the trouble for your son).

I think that it's worth a discussion with both the doctor and the teacher. There is a chance that your son's reaction is combination of both dynamics. You know your son best so if your gut is telling you it's one or the other, than it probably is. But, before you go and discontinue the medication please discuss it with the dr first. Abruptly stopping mediation can cause more harm than good.

Best of luck

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

pp gave some good advice so I am just giving hugs

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

I wish I had advice, but, I want to offer you hugs.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Jaime I am sooooooo sorry..................

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

One of my twin brothers has ADHD with mood swings to boot

We had to learn to just accept him and all the situtations that came with him and his disorder. Its really tough. Meds helped here and there but sometimes it just felt hopeless. I can say it gets better with time and as he got older as was better at controling himself and better at knowing his reactions.

I dont want to sound flippant but there is a reason why this is a disorder. It takes time to figure out the right combination of meds, therapy and control.

Good Luck

ETA when he's stable is the most lovable sharing and kid boy you'll ever meet, but when he used to slip he'd strike out in confusion and anger so I feel your pain. My brother is now 17 and is doing much better with his meds but still gets 'off' sometimes meaning not calm or managable and its hard to tell a teenage he's acting out KNOWING its not just teenage agnst.

Message edited 10/30/2008 10:08:28 AM.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Posted by rose825



who is prescribing the medicine? if its not a psychiatrist I would get him to one. he should be properly diagnosed by a specialist before being medicated. And even if he does need medicine, maybe this one isnt the right one. There are other medicines for ADHD

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

I'm so sorry. I don't have any experince with these situations, but my gut reaction would be to seek a second opinion from another ped.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

I teach special ed and though my expertise is not medication, as I am not a diagnostician or a clinician, I do agree that working with meds to address ADHD as well as other disorders is often a trial and error process. It stinks, but it is an unfortunate means to an end. ADHD also often (though not always)goes hand in hand with other disorders like Oppositional Defiant Disorder and others so that may be why you see other types of behaviors too.

It concerns me when you say the school will not give him services because his grades are good. There are plenty of children who have good grades who have problems coping with day to day life. Shoot there are plenty of adults who are geniuses who go to therapy of one kind or another. Sometimes schools do not like to give services or label kids because it effects school rankings and possibly funding. If he was referred services, he is entitled to them at no cost to you. You do not need a teacher or an administrator/therapist/what-have-you to make a referral. You as a parent can do that. You may wish to call your district office and get the name of a parent advocate who can guide you in the right direction.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

I'm so sorry - I don't have any experience with this but you have all the and I can offer.

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

Posted by Bubbs

I am a social worker and I work with a lot of kids that have a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD and take medication. Vyvanse is a med that some of my boys take. I think it sounds like there are 2 major things going on. First off, medication typcially takes 30 days to show its's full affect and the medication should not be abruptly discontinued or inconsistently given. Please discuss this with the dr before stopping/inconsistently giving the medication. While there is a 30 day window, I am sure there is a chance your son's body could be reacting in the manner that you are seeing. As mentioned above, sometimes it takes multiple attempts on different types of medications before you find the one that is right for your child. But, typically a change won't be made from one med to another efore 30 days (at least in my experience).

With that being said, I think the other boy at school is something that could also be affecting him negatively. I definately think it's worth another discussion with him to see what's been happening between him and this boy. And, it's is certiainly worth a discussion with the teacher. Maybe your son or the other boy could be changed to another group in the classroom (I'd like for it to be the other boy considering he sounds like the one causing the trouble for your son).

I think that it's worth a discussion with both the doctor and the teacher. There is a chance that your son's reaction is combination of both dynamics. You know your son best so if your gut is telling you it's one or the other, than it probably is. But, before you go and discontinue the medication please discuss it with the dr first. Abruptly stopping mediation can cause more harm than good.

Best of luck

Re: ADHD advice please or just hugs

I don't have advice but I just wanted to give you tons of hugs.. I feel for you