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AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!
Member since 5/05 4377 total posts
Name:
MaMMa
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Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
Wow - all I can say with wow.
The last couple weeks to a month has been really rough. My almost 4 year old - seems to love answering me back ALL of the time. There hasn't been a time that i've asked her to do something "Like please sit up in her chair, please pick up the toys, please hand me over something etc. etc....." that she doesn't answer me back with "No, you do it, No - you sit up in the chair, No, you pick up the toys etc...."
I don't try to nag her all of the time and I always say "please" and "thank you" to my girls when they do something or I ask them to do something - with the hopes of it catching on - sometimes it does......
I think im dealing with an overtired toddler who refuses to nap because I think thats what is making her so resistant - but she refuses too - each and every day and so i've been trying to deal with it but what I can't deal with is the getting talked back too CONSTANTLY.
I've put her in time outs - plenty of times - 2 and 3 minutes, i've taken her to her room. She has no problem answering me back in public, in stores, in front of family and its frustrating and embarassing.
Please tell me this is a phase?! How do you deal with this because most days im holding myself back.....
Message edited 11/3/2009 2:23:29 PM.
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Posted 11/3/09 2:10 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Advice for how to do with Toddler TANTRUMS....
I am going through the SAME thing with my almost 3 year old. Embarrassing, frustrating and annoying!!
I can't say I know what to do either  . I make her say "may I please ____" but then she thinks that if she says that, she will get whatever she wants. It's a double edged sword and I feel like I can never win!
All I can say to do is take out your frustrations from posting on LIF and knowing that we are ALL going through the same thing!
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| Posted 11/3/09 2:14 PM |
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Annemarie13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 628 total posts
Name:
Annemarie
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Re: Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
I feel your pain. My son is 3 1/2 and i am going thorugh the same thing . Tantrum after tantrum and he is so fresh. I feel like a useless mother sometimes. But a good friend reminded me its a stage and hopefully will last for a short time.
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| Posted 11/3/09 2:36 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
I literally watch SuperNanny every night in hopes that she will have the magical answer that I need in one of her episodes (pathetic I know)
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| Posted 11/3/09 2:38 PM |
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AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!
Member since 5/05 4377 total posts
Name:
MaMMa
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Re: Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
Posted by Diana1215
I literally watch SuperNanny every night in hopes that she will have the magical answer that I need in one of her episodes (pathetic I know)
I love that show too!! Sometimes I watch it just to know that there are others in my shoes - and I know we are dealing with these issues on some sort of level with our toddlers - im just hopeful that it passes soon.
How much punishment can you give them? I feel like there are countless days all I do are time outs - and it doesn't work - a half hour later or an icecream cone later, there she goes again.
I think one great piece of advice that I got from LIF - was a mom that posted for us to "Just remember, nighttime does come and the kids will go to sleep". AND honestly - I keep that phrase in my mind - because I really try to hold it together - and I know once bedtime comes around and they are sleeping, all is well. I guess we somehow manage to do the best we can...
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| Posted 11/3/09 2:54 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
Alex just turned 4 and she's in the thick of it - I've nearly lost my mind several times in the last few months! Something I found that seems to be helping - I purchased a reward chart. On the chart are pictures of putting away toys, setting the table, saying please and thank you, no whining, no yelling, etc. Every time she displays good behavior, she gets a star. Every time she earns 20 stars, she gets to pick a new toy or a treat. It really does seem to be helping and I prefer the positive reinforcement of the award chart, rather than sticking her in time out for the whole day, which is the only alternative for us these days! 
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| Posted 11/3/09 5:13 PM |
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Bluepixie
Mamarazzi
Member since 6/07 2618 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
Beth -
Where did you get that reward chart? I'm sure we'll need one of those in the next few years ;)
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| Posted 11/3/09 8:05 PM |
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LJSMommy
Love him!
Member since 10/07 3189 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
Posted by Bluepixie
Beth -
Where did you get that reward chart? I'm sure we'll need one of those in the next few years ;)
Yes!! Please share!! I KNOW I am gonna need one!! DS is a resistant little booger already!
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| Posted 11/3/09 8:15 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
Posted by Diana1215
I literally watch SuperNanny every night in hopes that she will have the magical answer that I need in one of her episodes (pathetic I know)
I've stopped watching her, because I've realized that she never deals with difficult kids. I've watched her methods, and tried all of them with DC (DS is 6, so luckily he's outgrown that, but DD is 3.5 and right in the middle...), but they don't work with stubborn DC.
DS was horrible.... if we put him in TO for 3 minutes, he would voluntarily stay there for an hour or more. We couldn't convince him it was over. If we'd take away a toy, he'd voluntarily start giving us ALL his toys. He never cared about consequences.
We keep telling DD when she acts up that it won't work, because she can't possibly match how her brother was, so we can now easily handle whatever she tries to do.... 
They DO outgrow it...
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| Posted 11/4/09 7:42 AM |
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Re: Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
I second the reward chart. Buy prizes and put them in a prize box, and let her know after ____ number of stickers she can get a reward.
The most important (and hardest thing) to remember is: stay neutral. Under react. Cailen is advanced and starting a lot of this stuff now. He is fully conversational. I tell him "I cannot give you ___ when you talk to me that way. When you are ready to talk to me nice, I will be over here."
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| Posted 11/4/09 7:53 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Advice for how to deal with Toddler TANTRUMS....
I bought the "I can do it" reward chart - I found it on Amazon
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| Posted 11/4/09 10:54 AM |
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