agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

My boss has asked me more than a few times throughout this pregnancy

"Remind me again. How long are you planning to be out? 2 months?"

To which I have had to repeatedly answer "No...12 weeks"

And he always has a "oh, man" look and a sigh. Sometimes he will say "Wow, 12 weeks."

I've responded with "12 weeks is pretty normal.." or a joking "You're going to miss me that much?"

The problem is I'm the office manager and I'm due kinda at a bad time when we will have two other companies moving in. This last month or so will be madness and I DO feel bad at leaving when I'll be leaving.

My duties will be split amongst people. I have to admit that I worry about my job!

And the last 4 weeks will be unpaid. I think DH and I can swing it but maybe 2 weeks will be more feasible.

I'm seriously considering being out for 10 weeks now because I am worried about being away too long from my job. But I know I won't get this time with the baby again...

AGH wwyd? btw I really like my boss. he was at my wedding and everything so I guess it's partially that i don't want to leave him high and dry.

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

I think it really depends on the work enviornment you are on and the relationship that you have with the higher ups. You may also want to speak with some co-workers who have kids already to see what they did.

When I had my first DD, I took 8 weeks. I had a c-section. If it was a vag-delivery, it would have been 6 weeks. Both options were UNPAID, and I did not have accumulated vacation or sick time since I was a teacher in NYC and it was October of my 2nd year working there when I had my daughter. The year before my MIL was very sick and passed away and so I never had the chance to accumulate many days.

I ended up having to borrow days and then pay them back over time...for the next 5 years 2 days were deducted from every pay period until it was payed back.

Not everyone takes 12 weeks. Most people I know take somewhere between 6-8 weeks. Yet some take more then that because they have the accumulated time.

I would really speak to some coworkers and see how it went for them! Or since you say you have a good relationship with your boss, maybe bring up your concerns to him, and explain your point of view and concerns!

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

can you take off the full 8 weeks and go back part time for the last 4 weeks?

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

I have spoken to other coworkers who have had babies and they have all taken 12 weeks. One mom said not to take more than that since one girl ended up losing her job because she was out for so long.

Ugh, I am already so sad at the thought of leaving the baby since I have an hour + commute both ways and I really want the extra time with her but I don't want to be stressing about my job either.

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

i would not feel bad, this is your baby! i am sure your co workers will be able to cover for you in the meantime, i did it for my coworker when she was out on leave.. they can deal and the time will pass..i would just say you are going out for 12 weeks, if you change your mind can you always go back in earlier? i was thinking the same thing because i will get only 1 month paid really... but i always say to myself i don't know how i am going to feel once the baby is actually here.. so you never know if you actually want to be out for the full 12 weeks or go back early.

Message edited 2/29/2012 2:43:03 PM.

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

Do you work for a company with more than 50 people? If so, then I beleive your job is protected for 12 weeks and they can't let you go just because you took the full 12 weeks.
If it's fewer than 50 people, I don't think FML will protect your job and you may be at the mercy of your boss/company.

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

Posted by LoveMyHubby605

Posted by janedoe

can you take off the full 8 weeks and go back part time for the last 4 weeks?

I honestly don't even know why but it didn't even cross my mind to discuss part time with my boss for a few weeks. It's something to look into, thanks!

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

thanks ladies, I know..I shouldn't feel guilty! Grrrr forget it, I will take the 12 weeks...or at least like the pp suggested, put down 12 and change my mind later.

Re: agh Boss making me feel guilty. WWYD

Posted by LoveMyHubby605

Posted by LoveMyHubby605

Posted by janedoe

can you take off the full 8 weeks and go back part time for the last 4 weeks?

I honestly don't even know why but it didn't even cross my mind to discuss part time with my boss for a few weeks. It's something to look into, thanks!

I just reread all my maternity leave info and I remember why this wasn't an option. I am covered by short term disbility so I would get 60% of my pay for the last 4 weeks..I would be forfeiting this if I were to go back early. agh.