am I a bad mother...what would you do???

ok, so my DH tells me tonight he wants to throw a party for his best friend next weekend at our house....its impromtu as he is coming to town and hasnt been here for quite some time, so it will basically be all the old buddies and wives....but we have a six week old baby who he wants his mother to watch overnight...I can 't even begin to fathom this at this point...ordinarily I would question my dh for wanting to do this however here is the sad part his best friend is VERY sick and dying of cancer.....it is truly horrible and he thought having this party might cheer him up a bit as he will see all his old firneds while in town and we honestly donrt know how much longer he has....so basicalyl I am struggling with whether to let my son stay with his mom for the night, whether I should go with the baby and leave DH to host the party alone or whether I should tell him we just can't do it...I feel its a no win,,,how on earth can I say no to DH when his friend is dying but how can I let my six week old son stay at grandmas ...just seeems wrong, I am literally sick over this.......

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

What I would do is just invite everyone over and just have the baby in bed. I know at 6 weeks they are up often but I would just make sure you only went in there if you were worried about germs. Although anyone who is sick shouldnt be with your friend who has cancer.

My boys are 20 weeks and they havent slept out yet but I have had many of night where my friends come over to hang out and the boys are sleeping.

Good luck in your decision.

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

I would keep the baby home with you? They sleep so much as it is? Is that doable?

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

I understand your point. If you would be more comfortable away from 'the boys', then I'd take your baby and spend the night elsewhere. If you are more comfy at home, then I'd stay home with the baby and do what you need to as a mommy.

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

I agree with having the party and just letting the baby sleep. Or, as DH mentioned I really don't think it is that big of a deal to let the baby go to Grandma's, unless there is some reason that she wouldn't be alble to take care of him.

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

DEFINITELY have the party. It is one night of your life, and it'll make his friend so happy..something you will never regret.

Keep the baby home..put the baby in your room with some white noise (humidifier) to help drown out the sounds of the party and have your monitor on somewhere..all will be fine, we've had many time when johnny was little when people were over or we were at a party somewhere and he just slept on and off. Not a big deal! Have a good time!

**I don't blame you for not wanting the 6 week old at grandmas...not that anything would happen, but they are so little and its a little early (for me it would have been too!)

Message edited 2/17/2008 6:53:28 AM.

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

i guess im a bad mom too...lol

my son is 8 weeks old and stayed at grandmas overnight when he was 6 weeks...my mom was a wonderful mom and an even better grandma...thats what grandmas are for...as long as you and ur dh trust her and all, i say its fine, dont feel guilty...i did a little but u have to have an inkling of a life...the best thing you can do for your child is be happy yourself, so dont stress, have the party, take yous DS to grandmas and actually enjoy the night!!! JMO

Message edited 2/17/2008 7:17:29 AM.

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

Is your Mom nearby? Can you come back to the party if the baby goes down for any length of time at Grandmas? If this were me, I would probably feel worse about leaving DC than not attending the party SO I would really try and be with my DC.

Also, at six weeks, they haven't had shots yet and I would be too nervous.

Good luck!!

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

i actually traveled from NC to NY when ds was 5 weeks old to be a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding. not only did ds come on the plane with me, but he stayed with family while i was at the wedding. he did absolutely fine!

babies are heartier than we think. i may be in the minority here, but i don't think it's a big deal to have him stay at grandma's for the night. what's the worst that could happen?

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

can you mil take the baby for a couple of hours. Then you can pick the baby up when the party is almost over.

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

I think you should go to your MIL's with the baby and stay there over night

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

I don't think you are a bad mother at all. If it were me I would probably attend the party & then head over to grandma's house to stay with the baby, or just leave the baby overnight. I would think that it would be worse to keep the baby home during the party because of all the people & germs. Have fun, don't worry.

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

if it were me and i had my family close by, i'd bring the baby to my mom's and go to the party - u need to be a wife and friend as well as a mother. i have a problem having my child stay at a friends house over night, but not a relatives..good luck w/whatever u choose - ur not a bad mom w/any choice u make b/c the 1st thing ur thinking of is ur child...

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

Have the party at your house. Many 6 week olds can sleep through anything. At that age, Jordana would sleep through noisy restuarants and parties.I took Jordana to every party with me at that age, and she slept through all of them.

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

Re: am I a bad mother...what would you do???

Why can't you keep the baby at your house AND have the friends over?