am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

ok so Fh works 3 jobs and is never home to begin with.....now that I am 35 weeks pregnant miserable and dont feel good 99% of the time ...I think he should be around more to help me , especially on the nights he is off from work. Latley his Fire Dept crap is really piss*ng me off ...I understand that he works alot and needs an outlet and he loves it etc...but HELLO i could use some help once in a while ....it makes me so mad that he is insensative to this !!! Do u think i have a ligit gripe or am i being a hormonal witch?

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

Nope - legitmate grip. You're carrying the baby full time with no time off or vacation.

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

I don't think that you are being unreasonable. Now that you are pg, these issues may be bothering you more than they do/did when weren't, but I think you have a right to feel how you feel.

Did you say something to him? Maybe you should mention how you feel, but remember not to attack him with your issue or he won't listen.

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

well since I relocated to LI and we have 1 car which he has because of work , I never leave the frigin house I have no family here or friends...I just get so frustrated. He transfered to a new fire house because we moved so now he keeps saying it will be different once im off probation yadda yadda ......I said no it will be different in a few weeks when i have 5 kids and a newborn that YOU are going to help me with!!!!

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

six children v

You definately have the right to want help!!!!!

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

but with 6 kids, doesn't he need the 3 jobs to support you all financially?

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

yes the 3 jobs are not the problem he works at 2 firehouses and then belongs to a third and feels the need to spend 2-3 nights a week hanging out or attending meetings

Message edited 2/8/2006 3:28:09 PM.

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

Is there a way to compromise? If he is working 3 jobs, I assume it is for the benefit of your family. I think that he needs an outlet that is just his own, besides work and home.

But you being pregnant and with the children also need some help.

Can he split the time he spends with his fireman stuff with time he spends with you? that way he has an outlet, but he will also help you at home more.

i would be afraid that if he went from work to home wiht nothing for himself, it would lead to him being unhappy in the long run.

ETA: can he spend 1-2 nights a week at the firehouse instead of the 2-3. That way he gets his outlet, and you get him around the house more.

Message edited 2/8/2006 3:30:01 PM.

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

that is what im saying ( i agree with you shelly) i understand that he needs time alone too...but i also feel he needs to pitch in more and hello when is my time alone??? never!
I made a huge transition moving here I went from being a single mom of 4 working 1 fulltime job and 1 part time job , living next to all my family, friends ..now im in isolation its very hard, soemtimes i really dont think he understands that...dont get me wrong im greatfull that he loves my kids and has taken on the responsibility of them and we have soon to be 2 children together he is a very good guy..but i just need him to see my side!! ...thanks for your input

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

So I would talk to him about it. Tell him how you are feeling. Acknowledge what he does for your family (the 3 jobs), but make sure her acknolwedges what you do for his family. Explain that it was a lot easier when your family was around. They helped you more. You had more support, so less fell on his shoulders. By moving you out to LI, you need more help than before, especially since you are pregnant.

I would also acknowledge that he needs his time on his own, and you don't expect him to give it up. But how about cutting the meetings to 1 or 2 times a week.

Also explain that YOu also need some time alone. Maybe you can compromise that every other week, he will go to his meeting once a week adn on the other week, he will go twice. On the weeks he goes once, you can take a night to yourself.

This seems to be the best compromise. You each get some time to yourself, and he helps you out around the house more.

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

If I didnt live in Westchester I would come help you.

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

awww thanks!!!

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

Re: am I being overly moody and unreasonable?

Been there done that It's very hard being a Mom