Is it unreasonable

Our VERY good friends are getting married 9/23 on LI and everyone is talking about when we are going up for it ect. Ummm, the weding is 9/23 and my due date is 7/31, I think that is too soon to travel but I seem to be in the minority when I talk to people. I have no idea, I am going to be a 1st time mom, I have no clue what to expect. Am I being unreasonable?
Experienced BTDT moms, what do you think?

Re: Is it unreasonable

I know people who have traveled with a baby that young and it wasn't a problem for them.

I, on the other hand, was (and still am) a neurotic first time mom and wouldn't take a 2 month old on a plane. Too many germs in the air that just keeps recirculating. If it was drivable I would have gone, but not on a plane. But that's just me.

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Where do you live? Do you have family still on LI?

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I'm not a BTDT mom but I'm a first time mom, I had my daughter July of last year and I was invited to a wedding in august that we had to say no to cause it was just to soon for me to leave my DD and I was BF, but we did go to our other friends wedding in september which was also to soon, but we decided to go and my mom watched her and we only went for a few hrs, and it was actually nice to get out of the house for a little bit. We had a great time! Its up to you and how you feel around the time of the wedding.

Re: Is it unreasonable

No you are not being unreasonable..... If you even give birth on your EDD then the baby will be around 7 weeks or even 5 weeks if you are 2 weeks late. It's one thing if you were local, but flying with a newborn can be nerve wrecking.

It's totally a personal preference. I chose to wait until Nate was 3 months before we got on a plane to NY.

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No way would you have caught me traveling at 2 months!!!
We changed our Christmas plans to go back to NY because i had no desire to travel with a 3 month old.

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In some ways its an easier time to travel, but you have to be comfortable with the idea. I went to a wedding when my baby was just a few months old and my in laws brought her to the parking lot so I could feed her halfway through. For us it was just a 4.5 hour car ride though, not a plane ride.

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I went to a wedding 8 weeks Post partum but that was because it was 15 minutes from my house and my mom watched Alex while we went. If I had to take her on a plane at 8 weeks to go to a wedding there's NO WAY. I don't think you're wrong. You probably still won't be quite up to snuff physically, and I think it's a little too risky to take an 7-8 week old on a plane with all those germs in the ventilation system...

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keep in mind that airplanes are breeding grounds for germs, they stay contained for much longer times and people are in much closer proximity to each other, if the baby was traveling with you I would definitely say no way, I couldn't imagine leaving the little one behind at that age, if it was local I'd have a different opinion, but this is major traveling.

Re: Is it unreasonable

Thank you ladies for you quick and supportive replies. Before I got argumentative with anyone, I just wanted to make sure I didn't have unreasonable expectations.
Now I know that I have a leg to stand on and feel more comfortable about my decision I will be able to to be more firm.

Thanks again!

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Seriously, if you focus on the germ aspect on the plane I really don't think any rational person will be able to argue!

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I wouldn't have traveled with a 2 month old...no way!

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It really depends on how your child is doing and how your feeling.

Personally I wouldn't fly do to the fact that at 5 or 7 weeks they still may not have any shots. I think it would be too soon to bring an infant on a plane thats just my opinion. I know many people do it and like I said early it really depends on how you feel and how your child is doing.

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Deb, You know I haven't BTDT yet but IMO it's too early for you to travel. I know I wouldn't want to do it...not with a barely 2 month old baby. What do you do with the baby? Bring it to the wedding and expose it to all those people and germs?

Our good friends are getting married July 1st and the baby will be about 2 mos old, we don't have to travel far since we live on LI already but I still think I'm only going to the church and not the reception. I don't think I can do it...

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Alyson was born 1/5 and we have a wedding April 8th in Maryland--she will be coming with us (at least that's what we say now) and I''m pretty sure that she'll be welcome at the wedding (the groom is her godfather).

We might take a babysitter with us for the weekend--not sure.

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For me, I don't think it's too soon to travel (as long as you were bringing the baby with you).
For you, it may be too much. My friend had her daughter on a plane at 4 days old. Was it a bad idea - maybe but she adopted the baby in Utah & wouldn't dream of driving home. No one got sick.

I had a friend show to my church the day she was released from the hospital with her baby. She sat alone with the baby at the back of the church & left before anyone saw her. I can't tell you how shocked I was to see her as I walked down the aislt & how much it meant to me. Bottom line is if it was really important for you to be there, you'd do it regardless of the pains it took to get there. It may not be that important - and you just need to be honest with yourself about that. ONLY you can decide what's right for you.

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I think its great that you are already realizing that you may have limitations. I think alot of times its the opposite and a new Mom to be thinks they can do it, no problem, just with a baby in tow. You may or may not be able or willing to travel at that point but you wont necessarily know till after the baby comes. Can you let your friends know last minute? I dont think its a matter of it being unimportant to you if you dont make it. I was in a similar situation with my oldest friend when I was getting married. Her daughter was born the end of Jan and I got married mid March. She lived in Charlotte at the time and was just not up for the trip. I dont think she didnt find it important, and I completely understood. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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I guess it depends on the individuals. I wouldn't travel that quickly after having a baby.

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I went to Ireland with Patrick when he was 3 months old. MIL had a severe stroke & we didn't think she was going to make it. We had no problems. But, would I have flown if we didn't think MIL was dying? I'm not sure.

Every individual is different. Do what you feel is right.

Re: Is it unreasonable

It really up to you. I for one am flying to Florida when our baby will be 8 weeks old so I can bring her to see my grandmother. It is alot for her to travel to NY just for a few days. I have the bulk head of the plane so she will not be near to many people. I will keep her covered. Its only a hour plane ride

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From one Florida transplant to another. I really believe you should go. I haven't been to LI since 2002 because my parents moved and I was somewhat OK with that. But once Jack came into my life I wish I had a place to take him their so I could.. I am suddenly homesick because I miss what I did as a baby..it's hard to explain. I drove from here to Orlando during Dennis by myself and honestly it was the easiest time to travel with him compared to 6 months when we flew on two planes to philly. I think if you got a direct flight to Orlando and had a pretty easy vaginal birth you would really enjoy going and that your little one would be good. Now, I wouldn't take her to the wedding or a hotel but since you have family to stay with who would probably "eat her up" I think you should leave your options open.

Re: Is it unreasonable

I wouldnt do the plane at that age. Is driving a concideration? They sleep so much when they are that little. IT could be your first family road trip
The bride and groom probably dont have to give a final headcount until a few days before the wedding, so i would just talk to her and let her know how you are feeling about the situation (brides can be very sensitive to guest response) and ask her if its ok if you let her know after the baby is born. Im sure she will understand- and its one less thing you need to worry about now.