another vent about bff and the phone

trying to keep in touch with my gf and give her some support, her mom is ill in the hospital and my family is very close to them. whenever I call or she calls me, the kids are going ballistic in the background and she has to scream her brains out at them. I feel bad that i'm on the phone with her (I know there's been news stories out there that people dont want to even call people anymore because its like 'rude' and you could just text or something, but personally I feel texting is not appropriate in certain situations, like this one) and she's yelling at the kids, they're screaming because they want her attention 100% of the time.

This is not the only friend I have that this happens with. We can't have a single conversation without screaming on someone's part and constant interruptions. If I call when the kids are asleep or out with the dh, the mom is so tired she can't talk long anyway!
Is this just me??? I'm ready to stop calling my friends with kids. Have you heard those super high pitched screams in your ear on the phone? It must be horrid in person as well.

But then it's as if i'm dropping them because they have kids. Damned if you do damned if you don't. There never seems to be a good time to talk on the phone with a mom.

Re: another vent about bff and the phone

I have a taste of the other side since im a nanny... and can see how its hard to have a convo when kids are being clingy... I dont think its right to just stop talking with her on the phone... She cant help it... It prob annoys her just as much as it annoys you! I know when DH calls me during the day and I have to get right off the phone, he too gets a little ****** at times... but theres nothing I can do about that... Try to be sympathetic... I wouldnt be surprised if she very much looks forward to hearing from friends just to get some type of normalcy back in her life! I know of so many moms that are dying for companionship to get away even for a little bit from children 24/7... I'd just tell her to call ya back when things settle down

Re: another vent about bff and the phone

Re: another vent about bff and the phone

Thanks for the input ladies. I just left her a vm asking her to call me with an update. I'm sure she's overwhelmed.

I think from now on i'll just stick to emails; when they have time they can call me. Its unfortunate but as you said, its loose-loose at this point.

Re: another vent about bff and the phone

I alwasy felt the the way you do about my friends with kids until I had my own.

I now, very rarely will answer the phone,most of my communication is done via email or texting as I always have my cell phone on me.

It's SO hard to have a telephone conversation, with a two year old pulling you and firing question after question at you, in which if you don't answer a major tantrum will ensue. It's difficult to reason with a toddler, they just don't understand "I'm on the phone, give mommy a minute"

And yes, quite honestly, at the end of the day when my little ones are in bed, I'm much too exhausted to want to spend even 5 minutes on the phone. I'm usually in bed myself about an hour after the kids since they are both up by 6:30 in the morning.

I'm not making excuses for your friend. Your feelings are what they are. I'm sure your friend appreciates your reaching out to her. Have small children who demand your attention the second they want it, is not only physically draining my emotionally draining as well.

I HATE that I've become that person in regards to the phone, but honestly I just don't have the time for lengthy, or unlengthy conversations. I do return calls though when I know not only do have a few minutes for myself but to have a conversation with an adult as well.