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peabody
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
You know what, I didn't know about the new recommendation either. DS is over 2, he is 2 and 4 months. We turned him around at 18 months, but I was told at a year I could turn him front facing. I just kinda ignored it and felt better having him rear facing. I am glad I went with my gut.
The ped's really need to know about this recommendation.
When did it come out? How long ago?
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Posted 8/9/10 12:26 AM  |
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Goobster
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Sounds like she will be happy to hear something that could save her child's life. Just tell her what you learned and she can make her own choices from there. If she gets offended, it's her own ignorance, at least you tried.
Me personally, I would not care if I offended someone. Helping to protect a child's life (by simply sharing info) is way more important to me than protecting an adult's ego. 
Message edited 8/9/2010 1:32:42 AM.
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| Posted 8/9/10 12:30 AM |
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GoldenRod
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Shawn
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
Posted by ChilisWife
I wouldn't say anything. Personally I get a little offended when people bring things like that to my attention because it makes me feel like I am ignorant, or that I'm doing something wrong, or that I don't care about my child, etc. It's like when people told me "OMG you aren't breastfeeding?!?!?" Like I should be stripped of parental rights or something.
I agree. She isn't really doing anything wrong. At 12 months you can turn your DC front-facing. I did it ON his first birthday because he was a nightmare when he was rear facing. Now that he's turned around he loves the car and he's so good during car rides. Her DC is over the legal limit so I dont see a problem. I, personally, would be pretty PO'd if another mom said something to me about it.
In NY, legally, you can have them forward facing when they come home from the hospital, as long as they are in an approved car seat. There are absolutely no actual laws governing when to turn them around. The one year/20 lb recommendation is also just a suggestion.
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| Posted 8/9/10 7:13 AM |
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my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys
Member since 5/05 4381 total posts
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
I personally think you have no reason/business to say anything. I turned all my kids at 12 mos and if someone told me I shouldn't have I would have been annoyed esp since it is not yet illegal. Having 2 kids, I can't imagine keeping my boys rear facing until 2 between their sizes at that age and personalities. If you want to say anything, I would ask if she heard anything about the new talk of saying keep them rear facing until 2 and if her doctor said anything and listen to her opinions and if she has no clue tell her what you heard or say you can send her the article you read if she is interested...any other way to me would be rude.
Message edited 8/9/2010 7:27:14 AM.
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| Posted 8/9/10 7:27 AM |
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ruby
you rang?
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by peabody
You know what, I didn't know about the new recommendation either. DS is over 2, he is 2 and 4 months. We turned him around at 18 months, but I was told at a year I could turn him front facing. I just kinda ignored it and felt better having him rear facing. I am glad I went with my gut.
The ped's really need to know about this recommendation.
When did it come out? How long ago?
There actually is not a "new" recommendation for 2 yrs old so I'm kind of confused as to where everyone is getting this from. And if I missed something then absolutely tell me. But I just went on the AAP website which is where everyone is saying this new recommendation is stemming from and as of 2010 it still says just at least 1 yr old or as long as possible. It says nothing about 2 yrs old. Yes it may be safer I agree, but just saying that I don't see an "official" recommendation to keep them rear facing until the age of 2.
From the AAP website:
Infants should ride rear-facing until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their car safety seat’s manufacturer. At a minimum, children should ride rear-facing until they have reached at least 1 year of age and weigh at least 20 pounds. When children reach the highest weight or length allowed by the manufacturer of their infant-only seat, they should continue to ride rear-facing in a convertible seat.
Convertible seats and forward-facing seats with harnesses:
It is best for children to ride rear-facing as long as possible to the highest weight and height allowed by the manufacturer of their convertible seat. When they have outgrown the seat rear-facing, they should use a forward-facing seat with a full harness as long as they fit.
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| Posted 8/9/10 7:29 AM |
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Faithx2
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Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by architectnycity
To be honest I don't know anyone IRL that didn't turn their DC around at 1 year.
Same here. I wouldn't say anything.
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| Posted 8/9/10 7:33 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
My friend turned her DS's seat around before 1yr old....I mentioned something how I am trying to keep *my* DD rear facing as long as I can....that was it...while I wanted to say more to her, I didn't because I don't want to undermine her parental decision making. It's hard sometimes to not keep things to ourselves (like when I see parents smoking around their children  , etc)
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| Posted 8/9/10 8:29 AM |
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Hofstra26
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Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Hey T, you can mention it to her in a nice way but of course *technically* she isn't doing anything wrong. Two years is a recommendation, not a law. I was nervous to turn Emerson but I had to at about 14 months. She was just too tall and was getting very miserable in the car. Although I would have liked her to be rear facing a little longer I honestly cannot fathom leaving her rear facing until age 2..........I look at her now at just 22 months old and there is just no way that would work.
It's a tough call, if you're close enough to her then you can talk to her otherwise I would let it go. People can be a little touchy when you offer parenting advice even if it's done in a nice way. KWIM? 
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| Posted 8/9/10 8:35 AM |
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4PsInaPod
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by Hofstra26
It's a tough call, if you're close enough to her then you can talk to her otherwise I would let it go. People can be a little touchy when you offer parenting advice even if it's done in a nice way. KWIM?
I agree with this. Or like others said, send out a mass email to Mommy friends with the video. Maybe she does know the recommendation but turned it forward. It's her decision, ya know.
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| Posted 8/9/10 8:51 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by Niecey
I personally think you have no reason/business to say anything. I turned all my kids at 12 mos and if someone told me I shouldn't have I would have been annoyed esp since it is not yet illegal. Having 2 kids, I can't imagine keeping my boys rear facing until 2 between their sizes at that age and personalities. If you want to say anything, I would ask if she heard anything about the new talk of saying keep them rear facing until 2 and if her doctor said anything and listen to her opinions and if she has no clue tell her what you heard or say you can send her the article you read if she is interested...any other way to me would be rude.
I have to agree. You're talking about 'recommendations' not 'law'. Would you go up to the same person who is formula feeding and say you "should be breastfeeding your child for at least a year", b/c it is 'recommended'?
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:06 AM |
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by ruby
Posted by peabody
You know what, I didn't know about the new recommendation either. DS is over 2, he is 2 and 4 months. We turned him around at 18 months, but I was told at a year I could turn him front facing. I just kinda ignored it and felt better having him rear facing. I am glad I went with my gut.
The ped's really need to know about this recommendation.
When did it come out? How long ago?
There actually is not a "new" recommendation for 2 yrs old so I'm kind of confused as to where everyone is getting this from. And if I missed something then absolutely tell me. But I just went on the AAP website which is where everyone is saying this new recommendation is stemming from and as of 2010 it still says just at least 1 yr old or as long as possible. It says nothing about 2 yrs old. Yes it may be safer I agree, but just saying that I don't see an "official" recommendation to keep them rear facing until the age of 2.
From the AAP website:
Infants should ride rear-facing until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their car safety seat’s manufacturer. At a minimum, children should ride rear-facing until they have reached at least 1 year of age and weigh at least 20 pounds. When children reach the highest weight or length allowed by the manufacturer of their infant-only seat, they should continue to ride rear-facing in a convertible seat.
Convertible seats and forward-facing seats with harnesses:
It is best for children to ride rear-facing as long as possible to the highest weight and height allowed by the manufacturer of their convertible seat. When they have outgrown the seat rear-facing, they should use a forward-facing seat with a full harness as long as they fit.
I'm really confused too, where is everyone getting this "new recommendations"? as the pp already posted AAP website says FOR 2010 "At a minimum, children should ride rear-facing until they have reached at least 1 year of age and weigh at least 20 pounds." so what's the problem? I mean if someone wants to leave their DC rear facing much longer than that it's great , but it's ok to turn them. My DD was also around 1 when we turned our car seat (and we asked the ped, he said go ahead") She was sooo miserable in the rear facing car seat at that point, screaming in pain bc she was too big and uncomfortable and her screaming while I'm driving = not being able to concentrate on driving safely. so....
and honestly I personally wouldn't like it if another mom said something to me (unless it was my sister or my best friend or someone like that maybe)
Oh and here is a LINK TO AAP CAR SAFETY
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:08 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by architectnycity
To be honest I don't know anyone IRL that didn't turn their DC around at 1 year. My ped told me to turn it and I went to the state troopers to have it inspected and they didn't say I should keep it rear facing either.
You could always just send the link and write A must watch for all parents. Then she can make her own decision.
I agree with this. My ped told me at one year to turn them forward facing.
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:15 AM |
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Ophelia
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
I can't b/c I don't know how to do anything gently.
I like some of the ideas posted, so, go with that. Jen2999's approach is really good.
*I* would probably say something in person b/c I am much worse over email. I am a blurter. and people can tell my tone much better face to face.
I honestly never care if someone gets offended. It's not meant to offend, so that is an internalization that is on THEM.
all you want to do is keep the child safe as possibly, and assuming that is the same goal as the parent, there should not be any issue.
good luck!!
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:16 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
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Melissa
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by Bops
What if you said something along the lines of ( in an e-mail) and send it out to a few people as to not single her out...
" I always heard that rear facing was best for as long as possible and never had any idea why until I saw this video !" Thought I'd pass it along, since another mom passed it on to me ....
I like this idea I think it is wise to speak up in the gentlest way possible since if anything ever happened you would feel horribly if you never said anything
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:17 AM |
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Mommy2Boys
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C
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Technically she isnt doing anything wrong...the recommended age to turn a child forward facing is 20 lbs. and 1 year.
If it happens to come up you could mention they are now suggesting you keep them rear facing as long as possible but I wouldnt go out of my way to say something.
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:19 AM |
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leighdvm
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
I wouldn't say a word......I turned my twins around at 12 months....My ped is fine with it, as are we. We felt very comfortable with our decision and wouldn't appreciate someone giving me their opinion on what is recommended. We trust our ped and the entire practice and if they felt we should keep them rear-facing, we would have.
Unless someone is breaking the law OR specifically asking for my opinion, I generally keep my thoughts to myself.
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:20 AM |
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saraH
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by leighdvm
I wouldn't say a word......I turned my twins around at 12 months....My ped is fine with it, as are we. We felt very comfortable with our decision and wouldn't appreciate someone giving me their opinion on what is recommended. We trust our ped and the entire practice and if they felt we should keep them rear-facing, we would have.
Unless someone is breaking the law OR specifically asking for my opinion, I generally keep my thoughts to myself.
I agree with this.
DD was turned around at about 14 months, she was a peanut. And our ped. was fine with it.
I know it's coming from a good place, but you do what's best for you and let her do what's best for her.
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:22 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
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Melissa
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by Bops
Posted by SweetTooth
Posted by architectnycity
To be honest I don't know anyone IRL that didn't turn their DC around at 1 year. My ped told me to turn it and I went to the state troopers to have it inspected and they didn't say I should keep it rear facing either.
You could always just send the link and write A must watch for all parents. Then she can make her own decision.
I didn't - my kids are still rear facing at 19 months.
I would just send an email with the video to all your friends with babies, and say - this was an eye-opener for me.
And leave it at that. Then she can make her own decisions.
My DD is rear facing as well at 19 months
Mine are rear facing at almost 21 months and will stay that way until 35 lbs(limit on the Britax marathon.) I even tossed around the idea of getting the Myride 65 since it has a rear facing limit of 40 lbs and Declan is already 31
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:25 AM |
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katiebug
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Katie
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by Ophelia
I can't b/c I don't know how to do anything gently.
I like some of the ideas posted, so, go with that. Jen2999's approach is really good.
*I* would probably say something in person b/c I am much worse over email. I am a blurter. and people can tell my tone much better face to face.
I honestly never care if someone gets offended. It's not meant to offend, so that is an internalization that is on THEM.
all you want to do is keep the child safe as possibly, and assuming that is the same goal as the parent, there should not be any issue.
good luck!!
I am like this as well. You are not telling her what to do, so not sure why she would get offended. Telling someone that you saw a video about internal decapitation could possibly save a child's life. It is called education. Once she is educated on the topic, she can make the decision from there.
I never understand why people get so offended. I like when people inform me about something they have learned. I had someone correct me on where the latch was on my DS car seat and I thanked them profusely.
As for pediatrician recommendations, I am finding more and more that pediatricians are not informed by current studies and information. Just look at all the pediatricians who say not to start certain foods until a year. The AAP's current recommendation is no longer this stance, yet pediatricians still give out this advice.
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:27 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by jellybean1420
Technically she isnt doing anything wrong...the recommended age to turn a child forward facing is 20 lbs. and 1 year.
If it happens to come up you could mention they are now suggesting you keep them rear facing as long as possible but I wouldnt go out of my way to say something.
What to consider when positioning carseats for toddlers
Lori O’Keefe
Correspondent
New research indicates that toddlers are more than FIVE TIMES SAFER riding rear-facing in a car safety seat up to their second birthday. Following are some safety tips for car seat use:
All infants should ride rear-facing in either an infant car seat or convertible seat.
If an infant car seat is used, the infant should be switched to a rear-facing convertible car seat once the maximum height (when the infant’s head is within 1 inch of the top of the seat) and weight (usually 22 pounds to 32 pounds) have been reached for that infant seat as suggested by the car seat manufacturer.
Toddlers should remain rear-facing in a convertible car seat until they have reached the maximum height and weight recommended for the model, or at least the age of 2.
From the AAP website
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:29 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Tell her Gisele Bunchen said it should be a law to keep your kid rear facing until 5, but that you think she is an idiot since the new recommendation is to keep them rear facing until 2.
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:33 AM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
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Katie
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by CrankyPants
Tell her Gisele Bunchen said it should be a law to keep your kid rear facing until 5, but that you think she is an idiot since the new recommendation is to keep them rear facing until 2.
Love it! 
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:34 AM |
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ruby
you rang?
Member since 6/08 5573 total posts
Name:
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by DRMom
Posted by jellybean1420
Technically she isnt doing anything wrong...the recommended age to turn a child forward facing is 20 lbs. and 1 year.
If it happens to come up you could mention they are now suggesting you keep them rear facing as long as possible but I wouldnt go out of my way to say something.
What to consider when positioning carseats for toddlers
Lori O’Keefe
Correspondent
New research indicates that toddlers are more than FIVE TIMES SAFER riding rear-facing in a car safety seat up to their second birthday. Following are some safety tips for car seat use:
All infants should ride rear-facing in either an infant car seat or convertible seat.
If an infant car seat is used, the infant should be switched to a rear-facing convertible car seat once the maximum height (when the infant’s head is within 1 inch of the top of the seat) and weight (usually 22 pounds to 32 pounds) have been reached for that infant seat as suggested by the car seat manufacturer.
Toddlers should remain rear-facing in a convertible car seat until they have reached the maximum height and weight recommended for the model, or at least the age of 2.
From the AAP website
I did see this, this is advice from a journal article. Yes it is on the AAP website but the AAP has not officially changed their policy and it was just updated for 2010 and this article was written in 2009. I'm not trying to be argumentative at all, and I'm also not debating that it's not safer to keep your child rear facing until 2. I'm just saying that there is no official recommendation in AAP's policy for car seat safety to keep children rear facing until the age of 2 so for everyone to keep saying that this is the new recommendation isn't exactly accurate and why you may not be hearing this from your pediatricians.
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:36 AM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
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Amanda
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by Niecey
I personally think you have no reason/business to say anything. I turned all my kids at 12 mos and if someone told me I shouldn't have I would have been annoyed esp since it is not yet illegal. .
Would you really be annoyed with someone if they told you that they read somewhere, or heard that the new recommendation was 2 years? I just don't see why that is something to be annoyed about. (although it is completely your right to be annoyed if you want to be!)
The OP is asking how she can INFORM her friend of the new 2 year recommendation. Not flat out tell her that she is a horrible mom because she turned her DC around at 13 months or that she shouldn't have done it. If she mentions what she heard about the new recommendation to her friend, her friend has the right to completely blow off the information and not do anything about it... or she can be thankful that she learned the new guidelines and decide to switch her DC back to rear facing.
I know for me, I feel like it is hard to keep up with all the new information and I am thankful for people who can inform me of new things. We turned our DS around to forward facing when he was 15 months. This was when the recommendation was 1 year and 20 pounds. We would have done the same with DD until I found out, from the other moms on LIF, that the new recommendation is now 2 years. We will now be keeping DD rear facing until 2. I am thankful every day that we never had any accidents while DS was forward facing before the age of 2 because you never know what could have happened.
And you are right, it is not illegal to have your DC forward facing before 2. However, the studies now show that DC are at a higher risk of SERIOUS injury if they are switched to forward facing before 2. The legality of it, for me, doesn't matter once I have that knowlege.
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:38 AM |
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Mariabella
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 951 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Any ideas on how to gently inform a friend that her child is safest rear facing?
Posted by OneOfEach
Posted by architectnycity
To be honest I don't know anyone IRL that didn't turn their DC around at 1 year.
Same here. I wouldn't say anything.
DITTO. I will be doing the same when he is 1 in a few months.
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| Posted 8/9/10 9:40 AM |
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