Are you helping to plan your shower?

My mom will be throwing my shower. I honestly don't want one but I know I have to have one. If it was up to me I'd have a big backyard party with guys & girls but since I'm due in the winter, that can't happen. Anyway I've decided to go ahead with a more traditional shower because I know my mom would be upset but I don't want to be suprised. Is it bad if I help her plan? Also aout how far in advance would invites have to go out? TIA!

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

I don't think it is bad at all if you help her plan. That is really all up to you, and if you don't want to be surprised, then why not help make it into exactly what you want?

As far as invites, I would say to give people a few weeks to RSVP. Nothing too crazy like a wedding invitation. You will likely need to give a headcount a few days before, so maybe send out a month before the shower so people have time to order your gift online w/out paying for rush delivery.

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

If you don't mind helping, I don't see anything wrong with that.

I wasn't surprised at my shower because I didn't want to be, but, I was involved through out - though I can't say I really helped plan it.

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

I think the only input I'll be allowed is the list of friends I would want invited.

My little sister brought up getting to finally be allowed to plan a party for me (she was a young teen when I got married, so was a little left out!).

Anyway....NO. I will have minimal involvement as far as I can tell!!

But, I see nothing wrong with it for those that are allowed to be involved!

Message edited 3/15/2008 6:30:52 AM.

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

I had to plan mine b/c my mom was taking care of my grandmother and had literally no time between that and working full time. My mom felt (and still feels) terrible about it, but my grandmother had been in a coma for my bridal shower and she really wanted to go to my baby shower.

The invites came from my mom and the RSVP was to her, so everyone just assumed I didn't know anything about it and we didn't tell them any different.

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

My shower isn't a suprise. I wanted to know about it. So I've helped my mom plan it. The only things I don't know are what the favors and decorations are.

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

I did and I wish I didn't - it was the biggest PITA.

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

I helped plan mine with my mom. She thought it would help keep me busy over the summer. We had a lot of fun. It was great being there as guests arrived to greet them, instead of walking in later. I also love details and mom is not the craftiest, so I got to focus on little things, which was fun!!
Depending on when your shower is, around a school vacation or holiday I would send them out a month in advance, maybe 6 weeks if it is around a vacation or holiday!!

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

I'm involved because I want to be! My moms are great and could really do this all on their own, but I tagged along to a couple of places just to get an idea.

I also gave them my list of people to invite and I even sent them some sample invitations I found online.

I'll leave it up to them to pick the invites and favors and I'll help with games and anything else they might need help with!

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

I totally 'helped' plan my shower. I didn't intend to, but that's what it became. There is nothing that I wasn't involved in choosing even if I tried not to be involved in it.. from the invitations to the favors to the location. I really didn't want to be THIS involved, but that's the way things turned out. My shower is tomorrow, hopefully everything will go smoothly!

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

I was involved only to the extent of telling my sister who from work I wanted to invite and I helped my DH write his side's guest list.

If I could go back, I would have stayed out of it completely.

As far as invites, I say send them out at least 6 weeks in advance. You want to give people a chance to plan.

Re: Are you helping to plan your shower?

Thank you for the repilies everyone