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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Were hosting a bday party for my DD at a small venue. Her class is invited as are a limited number of our friends kids bc we are really trying to keep it small. One of her classmates moms asked if she could bring an older sibling- I feel bad saying no, but I am going to have to this time.
Any advice on how to kindly respond with a "no".?
ETA: Thanks everyone for your suggestions. I just explained to the mom that bc of the small venue we are trying to keep the guest list limited.
My issue and reason for keeping the guest list down was less about reaching the max for the party package headcount (we always go over that and I dont mind paying the extra ) but the venue itself is smallish and my DD doesn't do well with huge crowds and since its her day I want it really to just be about who she feels comfortable with.
Message edited 3/29/2017 12:01:12 PM.
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Posted 3/27/17 11:15 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
bella321
Blessed!
Member since 3/09 1952 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Ugh, can't stand when people do that!
I'm going through a similar situation except the boy RSVPed to DS (his mother never called me) and said he was coming and wants to bring his older brother. Of course, DS said yes because he didn't know what else to say, LOL!
I would probably say that the venue has a set headcount and you are maxed out. To be nice, I would say that if anyone can't attend at the last minute that you would call her first.
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| Posted 3/27/17 11:22 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
That is just SO RUDE! I can't even believe people ask that! I would politely say no, sorry, you can only accommodate xyz amount of children.
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| Posted 3/28/17 7:02 AM |
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Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
I have 3 children. I have never and would never ask to bring another to a birthday party they were not invited to. I find a babysitter or RSVP no. I think it is rude.
ETA- I would say no, sorry but I can only do X amount of kids.
Message edited 3/28/2017 7:38:18 AM.
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| Posted 3/28/17 7:37 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
I would say, I'm sorry, but the place can only accommodate a limited number of children and we're at the maximum.
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| Posted 3/28/17 7:57 AM |
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Can you add children for an extra cost? I would say that your already at max capacity but maybe add that she can pay X amount of money to the venue directly and have him added.
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| Posted 3/28/17 7:58 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by PitterPatter11
I would say, I'm sorry, but the place can only accommodate a limited number of children and we're at the maximum.
agree
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| Posted 3/28/17 8:05 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by PitterPatter11
I would say, I'm sorry, but the place can only accommodate a limited number of children and we're at the maximum.
agree
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| Posted 3/28/17 8:22 AM |
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
I think you should simply say "I'm sorry, but we can't accommodate siblings"
It's not rude to say no.
I really don't even understand this - everyone knows you are limited to a certain number of kids, and then pay per child after this, why in the world would you ask.
If I had to bring my older child to a party for my younger, I would NEVER ask for her to participate. I wouldn't even mention I was bringing her.
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| Posted 3/28/17 8:56 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by LiveForMoments
If I had to bring my older child to a party for my younger, I would NEVER ask for her to participate. I wouldn't even mention I was bringing her.
The problem with bringing a child to a venue - whether or not they participate - usually still gets included in the head count by the venue. That happened to me at DS' last party - someone brought an extra person and they left halfway through the party. At the end (when we were settling the bill) they had included that person.
Plus, I would feel badly that a child was just sitting there while other kids were having fun, eating cake, etc, and I'd invite them to participate (while grumbling under my breath about someone bringing their child without asking me in advance).
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| Posted 3/28/17 9:02 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by LiveForMoments
If I had to bring my older child to a party for my younger, I would NEVER ask for her to participate. I wouldn't even mention I was bringing her.
The problem with bringing a child to a venue - whether or not they participate - usually still gets included in the head count by the venue. That happened to me at DS' last party - someone brought an extra person and they left halfway through the party. At the end (when we were settling the bill) they had included that person.
Plus, I would feel badly that a child was just sitting there while other kids were having fun, eating cake, etc, and I'd invite them to participate (while grumbling under my breath about someone bringing their child without asking me in advance).
Yup, and then when you have to feed the parents, you also have to feed the extra uninvited, non participating guests that parent brings also. I think it's rude no matter how you slice and dice it. If I didn't have a sitter, and it wasn't a drop off party, I would just decline. Classmate birthday parties are not a family affair IMO.
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| Posted 3/28/17 9:10 AM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
"Sorry. It's a small venue and we are at our limit"
I can't believe people do this.
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| Posted 3/28/17 9:16 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
I would just say unfortunately, due to the size of the venue, we can't accommodate any extra children.
It's very common in our area for people to bring siblings to birthdays for preschool aged kids. Once they hit elementary school, it seems to stop for the most part. A lot of people in our area though have a parent who works on weekends and most of the parties are for friends from daycare who are in a similar boat.
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| Posted 3/28/17 9:18 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
I hate when people do this. So rude and yet people do it all the time!
I would say no due to the place size and limitation you can not accommodate anyone else there.
I had someone do this to me and the offered to pay for him so of course I felt obligated to let her bring him because she was paying for him. I was on the fence of actually letting her and I did end up telling myself that I couldn't make her pay. In the long run it didn't matter I had kids drop out last minute so I was under my minium so I didn't techincally have to pay for him anyway and since I had the extra favor the kid got one too! I will say I didn't make him a favor cause the stuff I was ordering was for exactly the amount I needed and I was not buying a whole extra pack just os he could have favor!
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| Posted 3/28/17 9:30 AM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by PitterPatter11
I would say, I'm sorry, but the place can only accommodate a limited number of children and we're at the maximum.
agree
This but do not be surprised if people just show up with a sibling. It has happened at every single kids birthday we have been too.
Very rude.
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| Posted 3/28/17 9:45 AM |
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by LiveForMoments
If I had to bring my older child to a party for my younger, I would NEVER ask for her to participate. I wouldn't even mention I was bringing her.
The problem with bringing a child to a venue - whether or not they participate - usually still gets included in the head count by the venue. That happened to me at DS' last party - someone brought an extra person and they left halfway through the party. At the end (when we were settling the bill) they had included that person.
Plus, I would feel badly that a child was just sitting there while other kids were having fun, eating cake, etc, and I'd invite them to participate (while grumbling under my breath about someone bringing their child without asking me in advance).
Yup, and then when you have to feed the parents, you also have to feed the extra uninvited, non participating guests that parent brings also. I think it's rude no matter how you slice and dice it. If I didn't have a sitter, and it wasn't a drop off party, I would just decline. Classmate birthday parties are not a family affair IMO.
I've always had people bring siblings that didn't participate, never once got charged for it, never ran out of food, there was no panic or epidemic and everyone survived the whole epic ordeal.
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| Posted 3/28/17 10:05 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by LiveForMoments
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by LiveForMoments
If I had to bring my older child to a party for my younger, I would NEVER ask for her to participate. I wouldn't even mention I was bringing her.
The problem with bringing a child to a venue - whether or not they participate - usually still gets included in the head count by the venue. That happened to me at DS' last party - someone brought an extra person and they left halfway through the party. At the end (when we were settling the bill) they had included that person.
Plus, I would feel badly that a child was just sitting there while other kids were having fun, eating cake, etc, and I'd invite them to participate (while grumbling under my breath about someone bringing their child without asking me in advance).
Yup, and then when you have to feed the parents, you also have to feed the extra uninvited, non participating guests that parent brings also. I think it's rude no matter how you slice and dice it. If I didn't have a sitter, and it wasn't a drop off party, I would just decline. Classmate birthday parties are not a family affair IMO.
I've always had people bring siblings that didn't participate, never once got charged for it, never ran out of food, there was no panic or epidemic and everyone survived the whole epic ordeal.
Eh, it's still rude IMO.
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| Posted 3/28/17 10:20 AM |
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ap123
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 268 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
This drives me crazy. I always want to say no, but I never do. My favorite is when both parents show up with 3 kids, only one of which was invited!
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| Posted 3/28/17 11:20 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by ap123
This drives me crazy. I always want to say no, but I never do. My favorite is when both parents show up with 3 kids, only one of which was invited!
That is just so rude!!!
I once had a woman ask if she could bring her 4 year old to my 10 year old son's Halloween party years ago. Seriously?! What is a 4 year old going to do with 10 year olds? I told her no.
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| Posted 3/28/17 11:22 AM |
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starlitdragon
Me and my love
Member since 3/13 1301 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by ap123
This drives me crazy. I always want to say no, but I never do. My favorite is when both parents show up with 3 kids, only one of which was invited!
This happened at my DS' bday party. The parents ended up paying for the 2 extra kids, which was fine, but I was so surprised!
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| Posted 3/28/17 11:43 AM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Just tell her the truth. Whatever reason you can accomodate. I always feel like there is nothing wrong with the truth.
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| Posted 3/28/17 1:12 PM |
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ap123
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 268 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by starlitdragon
Posted by ap123
This drives me crazy. I always want to say no, but I never do. My favorite is when both parents show up with 3 kids, only one of which was invited!
This happened at my DS' bday party. The parents ended up paying for the 2 extra kids, which was fine, but I was so surprised!
That is nice that they paid. But besides the cost, it's frustrating when you try to plan a small, low key event and it doubles in size because of siblings.
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| Posted 3/28/17 1:23 PM |
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by ap123
This drives me crazy. I always want to say no, but I never do. My favorite is when both parents show up with 3 kids, only one of which was invited!
This happened to us a few years ago! 
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| Posted 3/28/17 1:55 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by ap123
Posted by starlitdragon
Posted by ap123
This drives me crazy. I always want to say no, but I never do. My favorite is when both parents show up with 3 kids, only one of which was invited!
This happened at my DS' bday party. The parents ended up paying for the 2 extra kids, which was fine, but I was so surprised!
That is nice that they paid. But besides the cost, it's frustrating when you try to plan a small, low key event and it doubles in size because of siblings.
This is why I am trying to limit it, more so than the extra cost, My DD isnt into huge crowds
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| Posted 3/28/17 3:43 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Re: Asking to Bring Sibling to Party- Need Help
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by PitterPatter11
I would say, I'm sorry, but the place can only accommodate a limited number of children and we're at the maximum.
agree
agree, its sweet, to the point.
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| Posted 3/28/17 4:05 PM |
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