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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
I didnt want kids either BUT if my guest was traveling then absolutely they would ALL be invited. To be miles and miles away and god forbid something happens with a sitter- send them an etiquette (sp) book!
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Posted 2/7/08 10:22 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by MommyofG
I didnt want kids either BUT if my guest was traveling then absolutely they would ALL be invited. To be miles and miles away and god forbid something happens with a sitter- send them an etiquette (sp) book!
Actually, i think an ettiqute book would disagree with you. Most don't really want children at weddings, I hate to say.
I think that maybe your parents should just go to the church with DD and then you and DH enjoy yourselves at the wedding.
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| Posted 2/7/08 11:00 PM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by MommyofG
I didnt want kids either BUT if my guest was traveling then absolutely they would ALL be invited. To be miles and miles away and god forbid something happens with a sitter- send them an etiquette (sp) book!
Actually, i think an ettiqute book would disagree with you. Most don't really want children at weddings, I hate to say.
I think that maybe your parents should just go to the church with DD and then you and DH enjoy yourselves at the wedding.
really my 05 book said if you have guests who are traveling you have to invite children too- you could provide daycare in the bridal suite.
I guess things have changed in almost 3 years 
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| Posted 2/7/08 11:38 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Did they make this rule clear to you as they asked you to be in the wedding? I kinda feel like you guys got the old bait and switch. It would be one thing if they told you this from the begining but it doesn't seem to be as though they did.
They are the bride and groom and they have the right to have the wedding any way they want, doesn't mean you have to go.
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| Posted 2/8/08 3:25 AM |
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Matteos-mommy
Can't believe I'm 2
Member since 12/07 1260 total posts
Name:
L.
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
I think you have a right to be upset. When I got married I had no children there except my ring bearer and my cousins son who was 6 months old at the time. They traveled from Florida...was I going to say no, of course not. My other relatives understood and never even questioned it.
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| Posted 2/8/08 4:44 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
I think it is perfectly understandable to not want their guests bringing children.
They are right if they open it up to your DD then they would have to open it up to every child....if it was me and I had no one else to watch her and my parents wanted to go then I would stay home with her
Message edited 2/8/2008 5:55:50 AM.
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| Posted 2/8/08 5:55 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
I know I am probably a little bit of a non traditionalist ...but I can't believe that people don't want kids at their weddings!!! What ever happened to family and all being together and sharing good times and bad times. Thank goodness all my friends had kids and THEN got married, so kids were all welcome at their weddings. But if I was invited to a wedding and I was told my child wasn't welcome there, ESPECIALLY if it was out of town. Sorry, I would send a nice gift and stay my tushy at home with a nice bottle of wine and a movie!!! I understand that this is the couples decision (so don't flame me for that) and its their wedding blah blah blah, but it makes me feel sad that they can include SOME members of your family, but not others.
Juliet...I hope this works out for you!!
Message edited 2/8/2008 6:25:39 AM.
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| Posted 2/8/08 6:22 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by babydreams
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't want children at my wedding and I can see why they would have to limit who they invite. Also you have to remember it is not the bride and groom's responsibility to worry about who is going to babysit your child.
ITA!! I have a wedding to go to next weekend oot and my DH is the best man and we both would not even think of tagging Ella along.
I personally didn't want children at my wedding and even though I am a mommy now I still would not want children at my wedding. So, I would not even try to think about bringing Ella to anyone's wedding. Even if the couple mentioned to me that I can take her I would not.
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| Posted 2/8/08 6:28 AM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
I totally understand with you. If your dd wasnt his godchild then i can see his side. Why cant he just explain to his family that this is his Godchild and Best mans daughter, therefore she will be attending the wedding and thats it, regardless if she was going to eat or not. This guy needs to grow a set and put his foot down.
Plus you can not send someone a save the date and then not send an invite.. thats just rude. People plan their vacations around those.
Hope it works out.
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| Posted 2/8/08 7:54 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
After reading a few answers, OP said that OTHER kids are invited but not not her DD!!!! So it's not NO KIDS at the wedding.
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| Posted 2/8/08 7:58 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by smdl
After reading a few answers, OP said that OTHER kids are invited but not not her DD!!!! So it's not NO KIDS at the wedding.
From what I have read in the OP post she stated direct nephews and nieces. Maybe I am misreading something.
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| Posted 2/8/08 8:02 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
I understand where you are coming from and I also understand their side.....
I had a weekend wedding AND didn't invite ANY kids.....no flower girl or RB, and NO kids at all to the reception....
Some people didn't come because of their kids, but mostly because they wouldn't leave them with anyone.....
They can't disinvite your inlaws, but your innlaws could always decline to stay home with your DD......I don't really think it's about $$$, or maybe it is, but for me I just didn't want 20 or so kids at my wedding, most of which came to the ceremony anyway, and then the hotel we stayed at had nanny service, so the kids stayed with the nanny during the reception, which was in the same hotel.....
maybe there is someone you could take with you to watch DD during the reception?
ETA
On a side note not related to theis particular wedding......
Whay is it such a farfetched idea to NOT have kids at a wedding? ANY wedding? Aren't adults/parents allowed a night here and there to not have to watch over their little ones? Isn't a bride and groom allowed to have an elegant adults only wedding without little kids underfoot?
It's not daycare, it's an adult late evening event.....TO EACH HIS OWN ON THE KIDS THING......
Message edited 2/8/2008 8:32:41 AM.
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| Posted 2/8/08 8:23 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by smdl
After reading a few answers, OP said that OTHER kids are invited but not not her DD!!!! So it's not NO KIDS at the wedding.
From what I have read in the OP post she stated direct nephews and nieces. Maybe I am misreading something.
Correct but the argument other posters are saying no kids at wedding is not valid in this case. Baby is not allow due to "cost".
Which again is their prerogative. I just it's highly unflexible for someone OOS and a child that young.
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| Posted 2/8/08 8:25 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by smdl
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by smdl
After reading a few answers, OP said that OTHER kids are invited but not not her DD!!!! So it's not NO KIDS at the wedding.
From what I have read in the OP post she stated direct nephews and nieces. Maybe I am misreading something.
Correct but the argument other posters are saying no kids at wedding is not valid in this case. Baby is not allow due to "cost".
Which again is their prerogative. I just it's highly unflexible for someone OOS and a child that young.
they are likely saying it's cost so not to hurt feelings for not wanting kids at their wedding outside of the obligatory family kids....which to me is ridiculous....
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| Posted 2/8/08 8:33 AM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by nrthshgrl
I think it's their call as to who should be at their wedding. I also think they should be providing babysitting for the OOT with kids.
They shoudl talk to the aunt & see if they can hire her kids to watch everyone else's.
eta. & disinviting your parents is rude.
I agree! and I did this for the kids at my wedding.
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:07 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Its funny, I also had a "no kids"policy. My cousin from florida was coming up with his whole family, so they didn't have anyone in NY to babysit. They asked me if they could bring their 3 month old and before I could answer, sent me a response that they were all coming. I was annoyed but what could I do?
So the day of the wedding came, and it had NO AFFECT whatsoever. The only thing was when DH and I got out of the chapel, she was there with the baby since they stepped out during the reception. So on my "I just got married high" the first person i saw was my cousin's wife and her baby. BIG DEAL!! 
So I see it this way, you have two choices: You can ask your parents not to come so they can babysit, or you can decline the wedding invitation. DH can come JUST FOR THE WEDDING and then drive back or stay for the night. Maybe once he realizes he won't have his best man there for the entire weekend he may change his tune.
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:14 AM |
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jana
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1134 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Also, what a cop-out to say "its about keeping costs down"..I just remembered that my venue offered 50% off for kids to a certain age..kids under 5 for FREE. I'm sure lots of other halls do too.
Shelly, if her DH goes ONLY for the wedding and skips out on the day before and after events..I can almost bet this would lead to a strained friendship in the future..hard feelings.
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:24 AM |
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
I would ask your parents to decline the invitation to babysit DD. If the groom asked if he should invite them, they are probably not that close. The groom was wrong to send the save the date but people can make up whatever rules they want about there wedding.
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:25 AM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Things they should have thought about yesterday. Your DD should be allowed to attend.
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:25 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by curliegirl
ETA
On a side note not related to theis particular wedding......
Whay is it such a farfetched idea to NOT have kids at a wedding? ANY wedding? Aren't adults/parents allowed a night here and there to not have to watch over their little ones? Isn't a bride and groom allowed to have an elegant adults only wedding without little kids underfoot?
It's not daycare, it's an adult late evening event.....TO EACH HIS OWN ON THE KIDS THING......
ITA!!! I will not take Ella to anyone's wedding unless she is a flower girl.
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:32 AM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by curliegirl
ETA
On a side note not related to theis particular wedding......
Whay is it such a farfetched idea to NOT have kids at a wedding? ANY wedding? Aren't adults/parents allowed a night here and there to not have to watch over their little ones? Isn't a bride and groom allowed to have an elegant adults only wedding without little kids underfoot?
It's not daycare, it's an adult late evening event.....TO EACH HIS OWN ON THE KIDS THING......
ITA!!! I will not take Ella to anyone's wedding unless she is a flower girl.
I agree with this 1000%. just like my answer on the bridal shower thread, for me, these events are an opportunity for me and DH to have alone time, so I look forward to it being an adult event.. Plus, I don't think it's fair for my kids either. I want to be able to enjoy myself without having to run after them and making sure that they are keeping out of trouble.
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:35 AM |
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lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
I'd be upset too, your DD DEF. should be able to go. Considering the distance and length, concessiosns should be made, or at least i would make them for someone because Im not a stickler, but some are just adamant about no kids at weddings.
Message edited 2/8/2008 9:43:15 AM.
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:42 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by bicosi
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by curliegirl
ETA
On a side note not related to theis particular wedding......
Whay is it such a farfetched idea to NOT have kids at a wedding? ANY wedding? Aren't adults/parents allowed a night here and there to not have to watch over their little ones? Isn't a bride and groom allowed to have an elegant adults only wedding without little kids underfoot?
It's not daycare, it's an adult late evening event.....TO EACH HIS OWN ON THE KIDS THING......
ITA!!! I will not take Ella to anyone's wedding unless she is a flower girl.
I agree with this 1000%. just like my answer on the bridal shower thread, for me, these events are an opportunity for me and DH to have alone time, so I look forward to it being an adult event.. Plus, I don't think it's fair for my kids either. I want to be able to enjoy myself without having to run after them and making sure that they are keeping out of trouble.
Go ahead and flame away, but it leads me to my point that children are not welcome/appreciated everywhere......and we as parents have no right to change other people's rules.
Can we be upset? Technically, yes.....but the world doesn't revolve around us and our children all the time....
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:45 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by bicosi
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by curliegirl
ETA
On a side note not related to theis particular wedding......
Whay is it such a farfetched idea to NOT have kids at a wedding? ANY wedding? Aren't adults/parents allowed a night here and there to not have to watch over their little ones? Isn't a bride and groom allowed to have an elegant adults only wedding without little kids underfoot?
It's not daycare, it's an adult late evening event.....TO EACH HIS OWN ON THE KIDS THING......
ITA!!! I will not take Ella to anyone's wedding unless she is a flower girl.
I agree with this 1000%. just like my answer on the bridal shower thread, for me, these events are an opportunity for me and DH to have alone time, so I look forward to it being an adult event.. Plus, I don't think it's fair for my kids either. I want to be able to enjoy myself without having to run after them and making sure that they are keeping out of trouble.
Go ahead and flame away, but it leads me to my point that children are not welcome/appreciated everywhere......and we as parents have no right to change other people's rules.
Can we be upset? Technically, yes.....but the world doesn't revolve around us and our children all the time....
Very true!! I think sometimes we as parents believe that we have entitlement to everything which clearly we don't. Not because I am a mommy now I am going to change my mind about kids at weddings.
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| Posted 2/8/08 9:48 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
They can have who they want at their wedding. But I think it's b@lls to expect you and DH to travel OOT for a long weekend and then be a PITA about one more kid at the wedding since there will be other kids there already. You are going to be spending a decent amount of money on your DH's attire for the wedding, hotel, gas, gift, etc. and then they go ahead and invite the people they knew you'd ask to be babysitters. What did the groom think would happen with your dd?
Kids were welcome at our wedding. But I've learned that I'm not like most people when it comes to this stuff.
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| Posted 2/8/08 10:09 AM |
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