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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by smdl
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by smdl
After reading a few answers, OP said that OTHER kids are invited but not not her DD!!!! So it's not NO KIDS at the wedding.
From what I have read in the OP post she stated direct nephews and nieces. Maybe I am misreading something.
Correct but the argument other posters are saying no kids at wedding is not valid in this case. Baby is not allow due to "cost".
Which again is their prerogative. I just it's highly unflexible for someone OOS and a child that young.
they are likely saying it's cost so not to hurt feelings for not wanting kids at their wedding outside of the obligatory family kids....which to me is ridiculous....
I don't know why you guys don't think it's a cost thing. If the bride and groom allow one child of a friend to come, then they have to allow everyone's children to come. The easiest way to avoid hurt feelings is to say nieces and nephews only. Once you open the door to selectively allowing particular children, you open the door to lots of resentment and hurt feelings.
I know for me, I didn't get married until I was 30. By then lots of my friends had
children, and if I invited them, that easily would have tacked another 20-30 people onto our guest list, which our room could not have accomodated.
Message edited 2/8/2008 10:22:34 AM.
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Posted 2/8/08 10:21 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
babydreams
YUMMM
Member since 5/06 1687 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by curliegirl
On a side note not related to theis particular wedding......
Whay is it such a farfetched idea to NOT have kids at a wedding? ANY wedding? Aren't adults/parents allowed a night here and there to not have to watch over their little ones? Isn't a bride and groom allowed to have an elegant adults only wedding without little kids underfoot?
It's not daycare, it's an adult late evening event.....TO EACH HIS OWN ON THE KIDS THING......
I am so glad someone said this! I don't understand why some people feel that children have to be included in EVERYTHING! I am a mommy and I dont feel that my son needs to be invited to everything that I am.
Back to the issue at hand:
Something my SIL and cousin did was tagteam babysit. My SIL BIL Cousin and her husband each took an hour to leave the party and babysit the chiildren at an event. Perhaps you can do this in the bridal suite with your parents.
Or ask the bride and groom if they can find a babysitter that can watch DD in the bridal suite. This is what I did for OOT guests at my wedding, but my wedding was at a hotel so they stayed upstairs.
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| Posted 2/8/08 10:22 AM |
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by Karen
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by smdl
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by smdl
After reading a few answers, OP said that OTHER kids are invited but not not her DD!!!! So it's not NO KIDS at the wedding.
From what I have read in the OP post she stated direct nephews and nieces. Maybe I am misreading something.
Correct but the argument other posters are saying no kids at wedding is not valid in this case. Baby is not allow due to "cost".
Which again is their prerogative. I just it's highly unflexible for someone OOS and a child that young.
they are likely saying it's cost so not to hurt feelings for not wanting kids at their wedding outside of the obligatory family kids....which to me is ridiculous....
I don't know why you guys don't think it's a cost thing. If the bride and groom allow one child of a friend to come, then they have to allow everyone's children to come. The easiest way to avoid hurt feelings is to say nieces and nephews only. Once you open the door to selectively allowing particular children, you open the door to lots of resentment and hurt feelings.
I know for me, I didn't get married until I was 30. By then lots of my friends had
children, and if I invited them, that easily would have tacked another 20-30 people onto our guest list, which our room could not have accomodated.
You said it best.
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| Posted 2/8/08 10:26 AM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by Karen
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by smdl
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by smdl
After reading a few answers, OP said that OTHER kids are invited but not not her DD!!!! So it's not NO KIDS at the wedding.
From what I have read in the OP post she stated direct nephews and nieces. Maybe I am misreading something.
Correct but the argument other posters are saying no kids at wedding is not valid in this case. Baby is not allow due to "cost".
Which again is their prerogative. I just it's highly unflexible for someone OOS and a child that young.
they are likely saying it's cost so not to hurt feelings for not wanting kids at their wedding outside of the obligatory family kids....which to me is ridiculous....
I don't know why you guys don't think it's a cost thing. If the bride and groom allow one child of a friend to come, then they have to allow everyone's children to come. The easiest way to avoid hurt feelings is to say nieces and nephews only. Once you open the door to selectively allowing particular children, you open the door to lots of resentment and hurt feelings.
I know for me, I didn't get married until I was 30. By then lots of my friends had
children, and if I invited them, that easily would have tacked another 20-30 people onto our guest list, which our room could not have accomodated.
Actually, if you re-read the thread, we were responding to a sidenote.
I know that if you read my first reply, I agreed that it was rude and that if OP's child is NOT invited (where others were), then there should be arrangements made for babysitting for OOT guests children (like I did for my wedding).
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| Posted 2/8/08 10:28 AM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Posted by bicosi
Posted by Karen
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by smdl
Posted by GaryElla
Posted by smdl
After reading a few answers, OP said that OTHER kids are invited but not not her DD!!!! So it's not NO KIDS at the wedding.
From what I have read in the OP post she stated direct nephews and nieces. Maybe I am misreading something.
Correct but the argument other posters are saying no kids at wedding is not valid in this case. Baby is not allow due to "cost".
Which again is their prerogative. I just it's highly unflexible for someone OOS and a child that young.
they are likely saying it's cost so not to hurt feelings for not wanting kids at their wedding outside of the obligatory family kids....which to me is ridiculous....
I don't know why you guys don't think it's a cost thing. If the bride and groom allow one child of a friend to come, then they have to allow everyone's children to come. The easiest way to avoid hurt feelings is to say nieces and nephews only. Once you open the door to selectively allowing particular children, you open the door to lots of resentment and hurt feelings.
I know for me, I didn't get married until I was 30. By then lots of my friends had
children, and if I invited them, that easily would have tacked another 20-30 people onto our guest list, which our room could not have accomodated.
Actually, if you re-read the thread, we were responding to a sidenote.
I know that if you read my first reply, I agreed that it was rude and that if OP's child is NOT invited (where others were), then there should be arrangements made for babysitting for OOT guests children (like I did for my wedding).
Actually, the cost was brought up on page 1 as maybe one of the reason while Juliet's DD was not invited, so I'm not sure what side-note you are referring to.
And yes, I did read the thread.
Message edited 2/8/2008 10:34:14 AM.
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| Posted 2/8/08 10:33 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Actually, the cost was brought up on page 1 as maybe one of the reason while Juliet's DD was not invited, so I'm not sure what side-note you are referring to.
And yes, I did read the thread.
Dh's friends ALL have multiple kids, it would have been impossible to invite them all....but should I sacrifice the wedding of my dreams to accommodate? Sorry, but no.......my wedding was upstate like I dreamed, some came and others did not......and no one is/was upset......
Hate to be the bad guy, but my wedding day was about me and DH and what WE wanted, not whether the guests were upset about their kids.....
ETA: The reason I said it likely wasn't about cost is because like a previous poster said.....young kids are either 1/2 price or free....so why not invite if it was ONLY about cost? I think it was a cop out.....
Message edited 2/8/2008 10:41:22 AM.
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| Posted 2/8/08 10:39 AM |
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Juliet
Family is Complete!
Member since 5/05 5913 total posts
Name:
Juliet
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Re: Baby at wedding-vent
Thanks for debating this
Overall, I usually don't like the idea of kids at NIGHT weddings. But this is a late afternoon wedding AND kids will be there, just not all kids.
I tried to tell the groom that I would like to just have DD there until DH makes his BM toast and the bride and groom have the first dance and then I will take her back to the hotel as it will be close to bedtime anyway. He didn't even like this as an option, which if I had this situation when I got married I would have totally accepted.
I feel we will be damned if we do and damned if we don't. If we bring her, we get grief. If I stay home, we will get grief (we are BOTH close to the groom). If DD stays with my parents for the weekend, I will feel like I am dumping on my parents and expecting that they will rearrange their schedules yet again since they are not going to the wedding.
Oh yeah, if I didn't say it before, I will say it now
If this wedding was on Long Island I would never think of bringing DD to the reception (probably would bring her to the church, though)
Please don't think I am one of those parents who thinks the world revolves around my baby.
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| Posted 2/8/08 10:52 AM |
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